Hello there and welcome to my... random CotL thing...

I recently thought, man, this place is pretty desolate. Let's flood it with random fictions of my own! And so I'll do. I'm gonna start you off with my headcanons about my two all-time favorite djinn. WARNING: this is implied slash. I'm gonna do one-shots or even larger stories about some of the things you're about to read, and some of these will have slash too. This fandom has been a pretty innocent corner of the internet, and I'm planning on changing this... ;)

I'm so excited! Will anyone read this?

I don't own the characters, btw.

1. Nimrod and Iblis have been mortal enemies for so long, making them so familiar with each others characters, methods, vices, weaknesses, etc. that they basically know everything about one another and thus interact like an old married couple, only that one half occasionally tries to kill the other. Happens in the best families, right...? Whenever they happen to meet it's like

"Oh hey Marid, how's life, stopped chewing your damn nails yet?"

"Well hello, Ifrit, stopped producing random sons yet?"

"Hey, fuck you!"

And then they fight. And through some totally incomprehensible miracle, they both make it out alive.

2. Nimrod is technically bi/pansexual, meaning that he loves people for personality, not for gender. He has told only Layla about this; Iblis also happens to know.

3. Nimrod secretly hopes to set Iblis straight.

4. Because he loves him.

5. Yes, you read the two above right. Yes, I ship them. This says Nimlis for a reason. You can't say you haven't been warned.

6. Iblis knows the things above, but he chooses to ignore them. He doesn't want or know how to handle Nimrod's affection. Also he does not need help. At least that's what he thinks.

7. Iblis does it for the kicks.

8. Nimrod can't swim. He just never learned to.

9. Iblis hated his father.

10. Iblis loves his sons. He really does. He's also in a clinch with all of their (wide variety of) mothers, so he raised most of them alone. The number of Ifritsons in my head varies from five to about nine? It's a whole lot of them, that's for sure.

11. Both are single. It was said in the books that Nimrod never married, and I guess given his personality, he's just pretty content with living a bachelor's life.

Rudyard and his bros must have come from somewhere, but no woman in Iblis' life is ever mentioned, so... he's probably Mr. Failed Relationships or something.

12. Nimrod collects ornate snuffboxes. And umbrellas, red ones. And all kinds of antique stuff.

13. Nimrod likes strawberry jam. A lot. He's really into it.

14. Iblis is one of the very few djinn who learned to cook for himself. And his sons. Mostly his sons. But also himself.

15. Both know how to play at least one instrument.

16. Iblis is really good in bed.

17. Iblis is secretly a hardened alcoholic. The way he drank that Brandy in part one? C'mon, it's so damn obvious.

18. Dybbuk is a result of the two points above. It's just my opinion, but he (Iblis) (or, like, just anyone) had to be smashed out of his mind to sleep with Jenny Sue there.

19. Iblis likes the neon lights in Vegas. He spends his nights on a casino roof looking down at them feeling like a god.

20. Iblis' ancestors invented Poker.

21. Iblis refers to Nimrod as "Marid". He barely ever uses his name. When he gives orders concerning Nimrod to his Ifrit, things go like

"Yeah, someone should totally keep tabs on what that damn Marid is doing."

"Um, sir, which one? You... know that there's... more than one Marid...?

"NOT TO ME THERE ISN'T"

22. The two of them meet up at Djinnverso tournaments in peace. They play and insult each other and have a great time.

23. Whenever he's not plotting freak revenge on someone, Iblis actually does do tribal leader duties. He helps young Ifrit kids through their Tammuz and stuff. And it's amazing.

23.5 Yes, it is. Imagine: You're a young djinn, alone in the desert. Your guys have left you here with nothing but a dictionary (what do you even need that for?), a sleeping bag and that old lamp thing. You have no powers yet. You're frightened. You've heard rumors about the Tammuz from friends or older siblings, so you pick up the lamp and rub it... and then, not wise old Mr. Rakshasas or Nimrod, who radiates goodwill like the sun radiates light, but... this guy pops out.

"Oh hey there. You're that guy/girl, right? Great. I'm Iblis, tribal leader, you've probably heard stories. And I'm here tonight to tell you how the djinn came to be. Yaay. Can I get an encore in here?"

You: *slow clap*

"That'll do. Now listen up here, and I mean listen up, this stuff is very important. Cigarette?"

You'll probably take the cigarette, but you won't smoke it. You'll hang it in a frame on your bedroom wall to forever remember that awesome night where you met the World's Most Evil.

24. Nimrod secretly has a deep-rooted dislike against all Americans and everything that is American, but he keeps quiet about it to his family. He's just social that way.

25. Nimrod picks stray cats and puppies off the street and takes them to animal shelters. But he'd never adopt. He wouldn't like shed fur and nasty business all over his house. Also, Groanin would be appalled.

26. Nimrod loves the royal family, especially the Queen.

He's veeeeery patriotic.

27. It is not known to anyone but himself if Nimrod ever had sex.

28. Every year on his birthday, Nimrod will receive a "mysterious" phone call from Las Vegas, which he'll act very surprised about. Upon answering the phone, an evil voice will say: "I wish you an unhappy birthday, Marid." Then the "mysterious stranger" will hang up.

Groanin has long stopped asking about these.

29. There should be an AU where Iblis is good and Nimrod is evil.

30. There should be an AU where both of them are women.

31. Or a combination thereof.

*sets to write*

Well, that was this! I hope you maybe got a little laugh out of these and didn't take them too seriously. They shouldn't be ;)

Btw, some of these could well have been disproven by the series. I would have no way of knowing because I stopped reading after part four, because my favorite character WENT AND DIED. I'll get all the books I've missed for my birthday in a few weeks, so I'll hopefully catch up soon. See you all for later chapters! :D