Of Needs
A/N: I have one word for you all to explain my absence from fanfiction: MEAP. The MEAP is the spawn of Satan, designed to torture young minds everywhere and squash student's hopes and dreams. Also, I've just had a little BB/RAE fanfiction dryspell, and no chance to get to my computer. And as you all know by now, I don't own Teen Titans, nor will I ever.
"Have a nice day." The cashier's comment was as robotic as Cyborg. Beastboy sighed and gave an equally monotonous reply as he left the store, purchase in hand. He made his way through the crowd, well aware of the stares he was receiving. Beastboy's feet started to move faster, self-conscious of who he was. Oh, he was proud to be a Teen Titan, and he upheld that honor dutifully. But as soon as the people are safe, what do I mean to them? Beastboy thought, Once they're fine, we go back to being those mutant freaks who live in an eye-sore of a tower. Go back to being the "little green elf". Although he was always smiling and joking, Beastboy secretly detested his skin color. He hated sticking out in the crowd, feeling like a zit on the face of humanity. He hated the praise he got for being a Titan. They don't care, he thought. They don't care about anyone but themselves. They don't bother to think that we put our lives on the line for them, about how many times we have almost lost someone dear to us.
Beastboy continued to walk through the mall, oblivious to the sounds around him. Just once, he thought. Just once I want to be thought of as something more than a superhero. I want to be thought as a friend, a citizen...a human. I want to be needed for who I am, not for what I can do. He glanced down at his fuzzy green arms. But that's just not possible, is it? I'm always going to be the little grass stain. The shape shifter. The Changeling. The joker. Not once will I be simply Beastboy, or Garfield. Beastboy walked out of the mall and made his way to his mo ped. Well, he thought. Better start smiling and thinking of some jokes.
Raven opened her eyes. Hovering inches above the floor in the Lotus Position, she glanced around the room. There was Robin and Starfire cuddling on the couch, watching Cyborg play video games. Raven smiled inwardly. Robin and Starfire looked so happy together. The over energetic alien was the perfect balance for the serious Boy Wonder. She focused her attention on Cyborg. He was doing well with Bumblebee, despite the distance between them. Raven closed her eyes again. She was a bit worried about Beastboy. Ever since Terra, he had been more...reserved. A bit quieter. The others hadn't noticed, but Raven did. She shook her head. Since when had she ever been the maternal type? Raven floated gently down to the floor and started to walk towards her room. Glancing behind her, she saw that Cyborg was now talking on the phone with Bumblebee, and that Robin and Starfire had gone in search of a more private area. Her amethyst eyes went downcast. There was so much love inside the Tower lately. It couldn't help but remind her that she couldn't ever show that emotion. That she would never have that person she could tell all her fears, her secrets, her soul to. Never have those moments of fiery passion, or those moments of perfect silence. Raven slowly drew her hood and started for her room again.
Beastboy sulked into the tower, eyes darting this way and that. He did not feel like talking to any of the other Titans. He needed his time to think, to be alone. Beastboy snuck into the common room. There was Cyborg happily talking to Bumblebee. Beastboy averted his eyes and ears from the scene. Perfect example of needs, he thought.Beastboy looked up and saw Raven staring at Cyborg, her face even more unreadable than usual. He watched her pull her hood up and slink out of the room. Don't get involved, Beastboy commanded himself. Nothing good ever comes from you meddling with Raven's personal affairs. Well, sometimes I learn what a word means, but that's not the point. He started down the hall the lead to the rooms. Staring down at his feet, Beastboy noticed them going in the wrong direction. Toward Raven's room. Hey! Don't go there! He struggled with his body. Do you want to stay attached? Then go to my room! All of his efforts were in vain however, as his feet continued down the path to the empath's room. Without realizing what he was doing, Beastboy raised his hand and knocked on her door. "Raven?" he called. "Hey Raven, it's me. Wanna talk?"
The door opened an inch. "And why would I want to talk to you?" Raven drawled. Inside, she was leaping for joy. Someone to talk to! Someone who might understand! Well, it is Beastboy, so I shouldn't expect too much, but it's still someone. Someone who wants to talk. To me, of all people.
Beastboy tilted his head and answered. "Because Cyborg is on the phone, I don't even want to think about what Robin and Starfire are doing, and I know your meditation schedule, and you're done for the day. What else are you gonna do?" Gods, he thought, that made me sound like a stalker!
Raven sighed. "Well, since you made such an eloquent statement...no. I have a book I'm reading." Damn these self defenses! Let him in. Let him break down some walls. Let him talk to you. Let yourself talk to him. She made to close the door.
He put out his arm and stopped it. "Raven, please." Beastboy searched for the right words. "I...need someone to talk to. I can't keep this inside any longer." If I don't talk soon, I'm gonna burst!
Her eyes widened in shock. "A...all right then." She opened the door all the way. "Do you want to come in or go someplace else?" This is it Raven, let it all out. Talk for once in your life. This is what you wanted.
Beastboy shook his head. "The roof, if thats okay with you." That way I can jump off if things get worse. Raven nodded, readjusted her cape, and followed up to the roof in silence.
"So, what's going on?" Raven asked as they walked onto the roof, drawing her cape about her. Talk to me so I can talk to you.
The Changeling looked across the ocean. "I'm just getting sick of this lifestyle. I'm tired of being the hero, I'm tired of being the jokester." He turned and faced Raven. "I'm tired of being me."
Raven watched the sunset. "I know what you mean. Sometimes you can get so disillusioned with your current life." She turned her gaze to the clouding sky, "You need change. You need to feel normal." Raven glanced sideways at her friend. "You want to be like an average teenager. You don't want to think about life and death all the time. You want to be needed...for yourself." Beastboy stood in silent shock. She had voiced his earlier thoughts.
Raven continued, oblivious to his silence. It just felt so good to talk to someone without fear, without reservation. "But even though the world doesn't need the real us, we know the real us. We need the real us." Her voice took on a lighter tone, but her words felt bitter to herself. "Imagine if Starfire and Robin hadn't gotten together. He wouldn't leave his room and she wouldn't shut up." They are ying and yang. I will never have that balance in my life.
Beastboy turned and faced her, looking at the hurt in her eyes. "Rae, I'm sorry.." he was at a lost for words. He had no idea that his thoughts would her affect her so.
Raven shook her head. "It's not your fault. You just wanted to talk. I should have known better." She started off down the stairs, blowing several potted plants up in the process. Damn these emotions! Damn my weakness!
A strong arm landed on her shoulder and spun her around. She found herself staring at perfect emeralds. "I need you Rae" was the last thing she heard as her head lost itself amongst the stars.
A/N: In case you couldn't tell, Raven lost herself at the end because Beastboy kissed her. Thought I'd say that just in case anybody needed clarification. Review please. Or flame. Or just give me some advice.
