Author's Note: So we were reading this really cool play called Macbeth and I thought it reminded me a lot of my favorite anime Lucky Star and so I decided to write this story about Macbeth but all the characters are replaced with Lucky Star characters
One day Patricia Martin was king of Scotland (A/N They are still going to high school in Japan though) and so she sent out her generals Konata and Miyuki to kill all the Irish in glorious battle. Konata had a ginormous battle ax and she cut a bunch of guys in half even though they were Irish and so they were leprechauns and so they all kind of looked like her cousin Yutaka. Konata also killed Ronald McDonald who was the leader of the leprechauns. Miyuki did something that was important.
So then Konata met with her friends Kagami, Misao, and Ayano (A/N They're witches, because Kagami is the devil) so that they could help her advance the plot.
"Hey guys," said Konata.
"You should kill King Patricia," said Kagami.
"Why?" asked Konata.
"Because I'm the devil and I tell you to do bad things," said Kagami.
"It's true, you know," said Misao.
"I never do anything interesting," said Ayano who was not doing anything interesting in this scene and was mostly there to fill up the cast.
So Konata invited Patricia over to her house. Yutaka thought that killing Patricia was a pretty nifty idea because then their family would be the kings of Scotland. (A/N Yutaka is supposed to be Lady Macbeth even though she isn't married to Konata because they're cousins. Also they still live in Japan even though they are Scottish royalty) Once Patricia was asleep, Konata just pretended she was Irish and cut her in half with a battle ax.
"Now we don't have to listen to her talk anymore," said Konata. "That makes me happy because her voice kind of sounds like Mr. Bill and I can't stand it when she says words."
"Good job," said Yutaka. They invited everyone over to eat choco cornets but didn't tell them that they had cut Patricia in half with a battle ax.
"I wonder what happened to Patricia," said Miyuki. "It's rather suspicious that she would be cut in half with a battle ax while she was at your house."
"Who could have done such a thing?" said Konata.
Then Konata was worried because Miyuki was a better general than her, and so she decided that she would have Miyuki killed. She called a special friend of hers to do it for her.
So a few days later Miyuki was walking when all of a sudden, Elton John drove into her on his motorcycle.
"I'm drunker than a barrel full of monkeys!" said Elton John, and cut Miyuki up with his switchblade. (A/N Elton John is good enough to count for all three murderers from the play) Then she was dead.
So then Konata visited the witches again.
"You killed Miyuki," said Kagami, who was the devil.
"No I didn't," said Konata. "Elton John did. And he was inebriated so he doesn't even remember doing it. Killing people is wrong."
"That's ironic, because you cut a bunch of people in half with a battle ax," said Ayano, but nobody really cared about what she had to say.
Then Konata and Yutaka were very happy because they were the kings of Scotland even though they were high school students in Japan. Konata saw the ghost of Miyuki wandering around her house, but she figured it was because she had stayed up for twelve weeks straight playing MMORPGs and the colors were going wacky in her head.
Tsukasa was also a Scottish lord and she thought Konata should not be king of Scotland because Konata cut a bunch of people in half with a battle ax. Tsukasa didn't think that was very nice of her, so she decided she was going to cut Konata in half with a battle ax.
"I'll help you kill Konata," said Minami.
"But you don't have any emotions," said Tsukasa. "Why do you care?"
"Because not having any emotions makes me very sad, and I need to take it out on someone," said Minami. Minami used to be the prince of Scotland until Miyuki got stabbed and Konata said that Minami couldn't be prince anymore. (A/N I forgot to mention that Minami was the prince of Scotland. It' s because she's Miyuki's next door neighbor and Miyuki thought it would be a nice birthday present one year)
"Okay," said Tsukasa.
Konata was worried that Tsukasa was going to cut her in half with a battle ax, and so she went to the witches to ask for help.
"Help me," said Konata. "Tsukasa is going to cut me in half with a battle ax."
"You're right," said Kagami.
"What should I do?" said Konata.
"I don't know," said Misao.
Also Yutaka went crazy and started screaming at people for no reason, because she was feeling guilty about killing Patricia even though Patricia has an annoying voice and she had it coming.
So Tsukasa and Minami decided to ask the British people for help, since Konata only cut Irish people in half with a battle ax and she wouldn't be expecting the British. The British thought that this was a great plan and decided to dress up as mystical tree spirits.
"Why are the woods moving?" said Konata.
"They're not," said Tsukasa. "For we are in fact mystical tree spirits, and not the British army."
"That's good," said Konata. "I have an irrational fear of British people."
Then Tsukasa suddenly revealed that she was not actually a mystical tree spirit, and she cut Konata in half with a battle ax.
"Alas, I am slain," said Konata. (A/N This is what Shakespeare characters say when they die, even if they are cut in half with a battle ax)
So then Minami decided that she would be king of Scotland instead of Konata. Minami didn't have emotions and so she didn't do very much.
The End