Run
Summary: Looking in the mirror, she couldn't even recognize herself. When had it come to this? When had everything around her crumbled? For Haley James it feels like life is fading. Can anyone show her its only just beginning? AU NH.
Disclaimer: OTH does not belong to me. But this story does. Please respect that. The title, which will be referenced throughout, is taken from 'Run' by Snow Patrol, the Leona Lewis Version. This story is rated M, for adult content and language.
A/N: This idea has been whirling in my mind for a wee while now. Please let me know what you think. It's going to be split into two, beginning with present day and then a series of chapters flashing back to events which will lead us back to the present day. These will be separated by date. Any additional flashbacks through the course of chapters will be in italics. If this in any way confuses anyone, let me know.
Thanks.
…
Chapter One – Bleeding Love
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
Leona Lewis
14th January 2008
"Oh my god!" a shrill scream echoed its way through the private hospital room Haley James found herself lying in. Clutching her swollen stomach, she screamed again. "Fuck!" she exclaimed, her nurses swapping glances between each other, slightly surprised at the language the petite dark blonde was using. "Fuck! Nobody said it would be this sore!" she exclaimed again, as another contraction tore through her.
"Just try and push Haley!" the doctor interrupted, his voice caused Haley to stop her moans and stare at him.
"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?" she screamed back at him, his face fading slightly pale as she continued to glare at him. "You tell me to push one more time and I'll…"
"Wait!" a voice screamed loudly as its owner burst through the door. "Have I missed it? Did I miss it?"
Haley, her doctor, and two nurses all turned to glance at the intruder, a clearly dishevelled brunette, clutching a mass of mixed pink, 'It's a girl' and blue, 'It's a boy' balloons tightly in one hand, a large teddy bear in the other. "Do we have a baby yet?"
Haley laughed sarcastically as yet more beads of sweat rolled their way from her forehead into her hair. "Yes Brooke, the baby is here, I just thought having my legs in these stirrups was just way too much fun to stop when the baby came."
"Ouch" Brooke smirked, letting the bear drop to the floor and the balloons to rise to the ceiling, rushing to her friend's side. "Guess no baby, but Miss Sarcastic is out in force." Smirking at the comment, the doctor, who had himself, delivered Haley, looked up to Brooke, about to make his comment.
"Don't. You. Dare" Haley snapped as she began to glare at him again, his head quickly readdressing the task at hand. Turning to face Brooke, Haley's anger quickly dissipated. "Is there any news?" Haley's eyes flooded with tears as she choked out the same words people had been questioning her for the past 23 days.
Shaking her head Brooke placed her hand behind Haley's head, pulling her close. "No sweetie. I'm sorry."
Nodding, Haley bit her bottom lip. "I figured."
"Haley?" a sheepish voice sounded. "I can see the head. You need to push."
Looking to Brooke, Haley reached out her hand. Grabbing it tightly Brooke smiled, "Come on Hales" she whispered.
"Fuck!" Haley yelled again, screaming the room down around her.
- - -
"He's perfect" Haley mused, sweetly whispering as her baby boy lay in her arms. "Ten fingers, ten toes."
Brooke smiled over from where she was arranging a bouquet of lilies. "Yup, he's perfect. I'm surprised he hasn't cursed yet though" she smirked "All that swearing you were doing."
Haley smiled faintly, unable to take her eyes from the tiny figure, brushing her index finger across his tiny nose. "Perfect" she repeated. Eliciting a tiny yawn, the little boy looked up to his mother. "James" she whispered.
"What?" Brooke questioned, lifting the full vase to the bedside table.
"I'm going to call him James" Haley repeated, beginning to delicately hum as she rocked baby James.
"I think it's perfect"
"Really?" Haley questioned.
"Yup" Brooke smiled. "And I know someone else who'd think the same thing."
Bending down slightly Haley kissed James' forehead. "Come on wee man. Let Mama sing you to sleep."
I'll sing it one last time for you And I can barely look at you Light up, light up Have heart my dear
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess…
As Haley's words faded so too did James, his eyes slowly closing fighting him to sleep. "All this mess" Haley repeated, her own eyes glazing over with tears. "What am I going to do Brooke? Everything is such a mess."
"Have a little faith" Brooke whispered, resting her head on Haley's. "Have some faith; believe it will all be ok."
"How did this happen Brooke?"
"Believe Hales. We're all way too young for everything not to be ok."
18 months earlier…
3rd June 2006
"Haley? Haley!" A loud deep voice echoed down the hallway, the volume rising as its owner walked closer to the bedroom door. "Haley? Open up. Are you ready?" The deep mahogany door shook as a fist made contact with it, banging once, twice. "Haley don't be a bitch, this isn't the time. We need to go."
Slipping her feet into her favourite black Manolo Blahnik Mary Jane's, Haley James said nothing, the banging and shouting on the other side of the door rousing little within her, their effects having worn off weeks ago. Standing tall she tugged a little at the bottom of her dress, pulling it down to its barely respectable length. Stepping forward, Haley stood in front of the full length mirror, placing her left hand on her hip, her black manicured nails contrasting with the dark gold of her strapless Diane Von Furstenberg dress. Leaning forward, she licked her lips, smoothing her clear gloss onto them, pouting a little at her refection.
"Nearly ready" she whispered, barely audibly, her hand rising to brush a stray dark blonde curl behind her ear, as her eyes continued to focus on her reflection.
Shaking on its hinges, the door moved again. "Haley, I'm fucking serious. Are you ready or what?"
Pulling aside her hair, Haley lifted a single solitaire diamond stud to her ear, securing it in place. Letting her dark blonde curls fall around her face she stared again at her reflection in the mirror, a habit she had repeated since her mother had begun to instil in her the importance of perfection. Closing her eyes, Haley took a deep breath in, before letting it go, slowly, steadily blowing through her lips. Opening them again, she took a step nearer to the mirror, staring intently into her own eyes.
"Haley! Last fucking chance or I go without you!"
"Jake, cool it. I'll be two minutes" she yelled back, her calm reserve wavering slightly. Hearing a faint mumble of a response, followed by retreating footsteps, Haley took a deep breath as she reached her hands against her vanity, closing her eyes as she steadied herself. Opening them again, she glanced one last time in the mirror. "Here we go again" she whispered; as she grabbed her clutch, swinging the door wide open as she made her way into the hallway.
- - -
"Fuck, Luke!" Nathan laughed a little, falling into the wall of the stairwell. "This couch wasn't cheap, and without my job I can't pay for it, so can you stop trying to kill me?"
Raising an arm to brush the sweat from his forehead, Lucas Scott looked down the eleven or so steps to see his brother at the other end of the couch, equally flustered. "Nate" Lucas began, his breath stilted as he tried to catch it again. "You're in the NBA. You're rich. Why are we personally moving you? Couldn't you pay the movers to do this?"
Letting his end of the couch rest on the ground, Nathan stretched out his arms. "Ow, this is hard work. I guess I thought we were man enough."
"I think I've broken a nail"
"Man, I was wrong, you're all girl"
"What? Nate seriously, like broken it really far down. That's going to bleed."
"Luke?"
"Yup?"
"You need to grow a pair man."
"Don't you fucking yell at me Haley, I told you we needed to be ready for 8, half the fucking company is waiting for us to arrive, their the ones who pay for your fucking album you know."
"Eh, Jake? Is 'Fuck' the only adjective you can think of right now? And stop having a go at me. It's not my fault the lift is out of order."
Nathan looked up to Lucas as the shouting neared them.
"Haley, I've had enough of your shit for one day. I asked you to be ready, you weren't, maybe if I ask you to shut the hell up you could manage that? And the fucking rent we pay here, surely they can supply a working lift."
"What do we do?" Lucas whispered, laughing softly. "They both sound crazy"
"Stand still" Nathan smirked, "maybe they won't notice us."
"Oh yeah, they aren't going to notice the basketball player, his brother, and the couch in the stairwell."
"Shh, they're coming."
"Seriously Jake, cut it out." Haley spat, skipping down the steps below her. "Let's at least try to get through this evening in a civil manner. I mean, lets be honest, how much more can come between us in one night?" Turning the corner to reach the final flight of stairs, Haley came face to face with the obstruction.
"Hey" Lucas spoke nervously to the stranger. "I'm Lucas Scott."
"Lovely" Jake spat, joining Haley. "Can I ask you Lucas Scott what your couch is doing in my stairwell?"
"Actually" Lucas began, pointing down to Nathan. "It's my brothers. He's moving in."
"Wow." Jake mocked, his tone becoming increasingly icy by the second. "My girlfriend and I are going out. How the hell do you expect us to get past?"
Jake glared at Lucas as Lucas motioned to Nathan for help. "Well" Luke began, stuttering slightly at the unwelcome confrontation. "We could try and well…"
"Men." Haley spat, removing her shoes and lifting her dress slightly, stretching up and onto the couch. Balancing herself on the banister she walked across the brown leather of the couch. Reaching the other side she jumped down, replacing her shoes, walking from the building. "Hurry up Jake. We're fucking late."
- - -
"Chris" Haley laughed, wrapping an arm around her best friend's neck. "Haley is really drunk."
Laughing, Chris Keller took another mouthful of beer. "Firstly HJ, drunk is gooood. Secondly, you can't pull off the third person thing. Only the Keller can."
"God you are so full of yourself"
"Yup" Chris continued to laugh, lifting a CD from the table in front of them. "I can't believe it. HJ 's second album. Is it any good?"
"The singer's good. The band? Not so much."
"Hey!" Chris laughed, thumping her arm. "So HJ, why is it that you and I always end up drunk and together at these industry parties? While Jakey boy is over there, sipping scotch with the best of them?"
"Jakey boy is my manager. We're just the artists." Haley laughed, a small hiccup escaping her. "Oh god. I'm so drunk. Jake's going to be mad."
Laughing, Chris took his beer bottle in his hand, bringing it to his mouth. "So Haley James, what inspired you to enter into the music business? Fame? Money? The allure of shagging your boss?" Passing the bottle to Haley, as a makeshift microphone, she pondered the question.
"I…" she began, her eyes searching the room for Jake. "I… I…"
"C'mon Hales. Don't leave us, your audience in suspense. What inspired you to become the nation's latest music treasure?" Chris laughed at his own words, grabbing his beer bottle back to take a mouthful.
"I… I think I'm going to be sick."
- - -
Looking in the mirror of the bathroom, Haley traced her index finger under her eyes, smudging away the remnants of black liner.
"Lucy?" a voice sounded from the toilet cubicles behind her. "Luce? Pass me some toilet paper would you?"
A second voice replied. "Sure. Here you go. God this party sucks, another kiss ass bash for Haley James. Because she's screwing Jagielski." Both girls laughed.
"And is it just me? Or does her music suck?" The girls laughed again, as Haley continued to stare in the mirror. Looking harder she saw the darkness that had been creeping into her eyes these past few weeks. To the world it appeared as though she had everything, the job, the money, the man. But to Haley, most of the time, even when surrounded by people, she'd never felt more alone.Moving to New York from Tree Hill, North Carolina, at the tender age of eighteen, Haley James had instantly lit up the music world. Recruited to a label almost immediately, Haley knew she was lucky, living every girls dream. Success had, unsurprisingly come with it and now, just four years later, at twenty two, she was the most sought after artist in the country.
"But why doesn't it feel like it's enough?" she whispered aloud.
"Shit, Lucy, is someone there?" the voices behind her began to whisper. Pulling her compact from her bag, Haley retouched her makeup.
"Its ok girls" she shouted "Nobody important. And you aren't alone; I think her music sucks too."
Haley walked from the bathroom, the girls obliviously laughing behind her.
- - -
"Jake? Jake?" Haley pushed past a couple of guys to find Jake, surrounded by people at a table. "Sorry to interrupt, but Jake? I think I'm going to head off, I'm really tired."
Rising from the table, Jake motioned to the guys. "Back in a sec" he promised, pulling Haley away and to the side. "Are you ok? Let me take you home. I'm sorry about earlier."
"I know, its ok, really. I'm sorry too. But for now I just need to lie down. You stay here, you're having fun"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes" Haley assured, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "Enjoy yourself. I'll see you at home."
"Hales?"
"Yeah?" Haley answered, running a tired hand through her hair.
"I love you"
"See you at home Jake."
- - -
Haley winced a little as her bare foot made contact with the cold tiles of her apartment's kitchen floor. The cold shot through her body as she placed her feet intricately down one after the other, slowly, carefully, mapping her way to the refrigerator. Her body was tense as she moved, stopping suddenly as a creak echoed through the dark, lifeless room. Turning quickly, she sighed heavily with relief as no other sound followed.
"Its nothing" she whispered softly aloud, reassuring herself, as she made a grab for the refrigerator door, opening it to retrieve a bottle of water. Turning its cap, once, twice, three times till it broke, she poured its cold contents into a glass before lifting it to her mouth, feeling its chill as it travelled to her stomach. Pushing the door closed again, Haley leant herself against it, as she stared intently at a single photograph, held in place by a small magnet. Tilting her head, she stared silently, a lump growing in her throat, a now all too familiar feeling rising in her stomach. As she lifted her hand, her finger traced softly over the figures in the picture, a man, dressed elegantly in a dress suit, a woman standing tall in a dark green strapless gown.
"You two look gorgeous!"
"Chris, shut up and take the picture!" Haley giggled, wrapping an arm around Jake's waist.
"Ah, my girl Haley James" Jake laughed, looking in her eyes, his own dancing a little. "I'm so proud of you, my girl's first album launch party."
"Which wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for you"
"Hardly. So I put some money into your work, I didn't sing your songs."
Haley laughed. "True. I am rather talented"
"And beautiful"
"Aw, thanks Mr Jagielski"
"I mean it Haley. You're beautiful, gorgeous. I love you"
Haley took a step back and smiled, "Jake, I… I don't know what to say"
"Say, you love me and you'll move in with me."
"Move in with you?"
"Come on you guys! There are plenty of girls here waiting to get their hands on the Keller, smile for the bloody photo already."
Haley opened her eyes from her memory as she turned from the refrigerator, and made her way through her open plan kitchen, to one of the large white couches that engulfed the living room of the penthouse apartment she and Jake owned. Sitting herself down, she took in the view, New York's skyline, illuminated and bright.The view had to be the main reason why they'd chosen that apartment. She'd viewed hundreds in the city, dragging her realtor all over, in the desperate search for the perfect home, to enjoy her life, and appreciate every part of it. Life had different plans though. And now, whilst she savoured and enjoyed every part of the view, her life itself was far from how she'd imagined.
"Haley?" an awkward voice sounded from behind her. "Are you coming to bed?"
"Yeah" she whispered, eventually turning to face Jake, standing sleepily dishevelled. "Course. Give me a minute though, ok?"
Jake smiled and turned as Haley tightly closed her eyes, a single tear tracing her cheek, landing in a small splash on the grey of her pyjama bottoms.
"There's got to be more to life than this."
…