"Hey, Uncle Jeff."
Jeff didn't know why his nickname sounded so different coming from Alex than when it came from the rest of the X division boys, but he knew that privately, he quite liked it. "Hey, Alex. What can I do for you?"
"Now, there's a loaded question." Alex walked around to Jeff's side of the desk and perched against it. His hair fell over his eyes, and he seemed content to leave it there. "I was wondering if you'd like to get a beer with me when you're done here."
Jeff's eyebrows shot up in surprise. It was clearly a proposition. Alex was way too close to him, and all his body language invited Jeff to touch him.
Homosexual encounters among wrestlers weren't uncommon, but they weren't talked about either, as though they weren't real if nobody mentioned them. Jeff had had his share of locker room lovers - mostly wrestlers around his own age - and he knew he was still a very attractive man, but he also knew that for a handsome guy of Alex's age, a very attractive 24-year-old was a far better prospect than a very attractive man of 38.
Jeff flicked his eyes over Alex appraisingly. His jeans stretched tight across his muscled thighs, and his pinstripe shirt clung enticingly to his biceps. He looked delicious, and therein lay the problem. If Jeff had been younger, or if Alex had been older, or if Alex hadn't been quite so gorgeous, Jeff would have agreed in a heartbeat. As it was, there was only one reason Jeff could see for Alex to make advances in his direction.
Jeff smiled regretfully. "You wouldn't get a bigger push out of it," he said, and Alex immediately stiffened.
"Well then, I guess there's no point in me being here," he said jovially, and he had a smile on his lips but the anger in his eyes was impossible to misread. "Catch you later."
Alex strode briskly from the room, and Jeff knew he'd made a mistake.
When Jeff walked into the hotel bar, he saw Alex sitting at a table alone, glaring morosely into his beer. Half the X division were messing around just a few tables away, but they all knew better than to approach Alex when he was radiating such an air of animosity. Jeff understood Alex's fury; it wasn't because he'd been rejected, it was because he'd been insulted.
Bracing himself, Jeff slid into the chair opposite Alex. Alex looked at him quizzically.
"Decided you want to give me that push after all, Jeff?"
Jeff found the fact that Alex wasn't using his nickname bothered him a lot more than his venomous tone. "Look, I'm real sorry about earlier. I don't always express myself as well as I might like. I didn't mean it the way it came out."
Alex shrugged. "Forget it. It's not the first time I've had my integrity questioned by a promoter. First time I've basically been accused of prostitution though."
Jeff winced. "Yeah, like I said, I didn't mean it the way it came out. I was surprised, is all."
"I don't see why. I know it's not the first time a guy's come on to you."
"Well, no," Jeff admitted. "But look at you. What else could I possibly have to offer you?"
Alex smiled wryly. "It never occurred to you that I might just, you know, want to fuck you?"
"No, frankly." Jeff shifted uncomfortably. In his experience, wrestlers generally didn't talk about any homosexual urges they might have this way. He glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot, and Alex smiled in amusement. "I mean, we have a ton of hot guys here your own age. Why on earth would you want me instead?"
Alex pulled a face. "Everything with them always has to be so intense. When I fuck, I don't want to put on some display of sexual gymnastics to show how impressive I am. I don't want sex to be a competition. With you, I get the feeling we could just relax and enjoy each other. I figure you for the kind of guy who understands that sometimes all you want is a quick handjob in the dark. And I like the way you treat me. I like that you make me feel valued and protected, and I figured it'd be nice to feel that way in the bedroom too. Sort of like having a sugar daddy, only without the part where you have to buy me stuff."
Jeff grinned at Alex's turn of phrase, his laugh lines creasing and his eyes dancing. Alex smiled and continued.
"Besides, I have kind of a thing for those baby blues of yours. I keep wondering what it'd be like to look into them while you cum. The thought's helped out in a number of jerk-off sessions, but there's no substitute for the real thing, right?"
Jeff didn't know quite what to say to that. The mental image of Alex masturbating was enough to make his cock stir in his pants, but the idea of him doing it while thinking of Jeff made Jeff want to drag him upstairs by the hair. It didn't help that Alex's face suggested he was thinking much the same thing, holding Jeff's gaze steadily with a desire he didn't bother to conceal.
Jeff cleared his throat. "I realise I've probably blown my chance here, but would you maybe like to come up to my room so I can apologise to you properly?"
Alex grinned. "You know what, Uncle Jeff? I could really go for some slow, deep apologising right now."
It took Jeff longer to get to his room that night than on any other occasion he could recall, because he was so aroused be could barely walk. He soon found Alex did things differently than the other wrestlers he'd had sex with, although Jeff didn't know if it was a generational thing or if it was just Alex being the odd man out again.
To start with, Alex kissed. In Jeff's previous experience, wrestlers generally didn't kiss their male lovers because, well, that would be gay. Alex also liked to discuss new things he wanted to try, and things they'd already done that he particularly liked. He took all the shame and sleaze out of the whole thing - which was funny, because when it got right down to it, you'd be hard pressed to find a bigger sleazeball than Alex.
Jeff couldn't have explained exactly what his relationship with Alex was; they certainly weren't boyfriends, but it wasn't just sex either. Even before the first time they touched they both knew they weren't looking for a one-off, and Jeff quickly found himself growing very fond of Alex.
Alex became Jeff's refuge when he was on the road. No matter how many things went wrong during a show, or how many inflated egos Jeff had to deal with, or how many TV execs he had to fend off demands from, Jeff knew that when he went to his room at the end of the day, Alex would come along and make all that stress melt away.
Sometimes all Jeff wanted was to climb into bed and fall asleep with Alex's warm body next to him, and at those times, that's exactly what happened. It was uncanny how perfectly Alex could read Jeff, and he always gave Jeff precisely what he wanted, without ever asking for a single thing in return. Alex knew that Jeff adored him, and that was all he wanted.
And then Jeff took some time off to take care of Jill. He came back briefly six months later before leaving again, but that short time was enough for it to become clear that everything had changed. Not on Alex's end; Alex would have been happy to pick up right where they'd left off, but Jeff wasn't feeling very sexual. More importantly, although wrestlers had been rationalising away their affairs with both genders for decades, Jeff had a hard time convincing himself that what he'd been doing with Alex was okay, under the circumstances.
Jeff distanced himself, and Alex let him. Alex never once questioned Jeff's decision to withdraw, although Jeff thought he had every right to do so, particularly since Jeff didn't actually tell him about it - he just avoided Alex for two weeks instead. Typically undemanding, Alex took the hint and stayed away. Even as Jeff walked away, Alex was giving him what he needed.
Jeff didn't see much of Alex for a long time. When he came back to work again Alex kept out of his way, and worked so hard to avoid making eye contact that Jeff wondered if he was doing it because he was doing what was best for Jeff or because he didn't want to see Jeff reject him. Everything coasted along quietly, and then the whole thing with Karen happened and Jeff ended up taking time off again, although not voluntarily this time.
Eventually things with Kurt got straightened out, and once again Jeff returned to work. Apart from the fact that Jeff and Kurt were much better friends than they'd been before, nothing much in Jeff's life on the road had changed; at least not with regard to his relationships with the rest of the boys, although his power was a thing of the past. Then he and Karen got married.
Everyone took the time out to congratulate him when they found out about it, Alex included. It was the first time Alex had looked him in the eye, or for that matter spoken directly to him in a one-on-one situation, in three years.
"Congratulations, Jeff."
As brief as the sentence was, Jeff knew Alex meant it. Alex wasn't in the habit of saying things he didn't mean, especially with Jeff. To his dismay, Jeff discovered that after the years of silence between them, he no longer knew how to talk to Alex.
"Thank you. That means a lot."
Alex gave him a lopsided smile and walked away.
It was an exchange that only took seconds, but it hit Jeff like a brick to the face. He'd forgotten how much he liked Alex's voice, and how the sound of it could warm him all over and dissipate all his tension. He'd also forgotten how much Alex's natural sensuality affected him, and how just one smile from him made Jeff's affection and desire for him flare.
Over the next few weeks, Jeff found himself watching Alex in the locker room. He looked noticeably older now, but his beauty hadn't faded in the slightest, and Jeff doubted it ever would. He was a work of art, and Jeff wondered how he could ever have been stupid enough to cut Alex loose. He didn't see any particularly close ties between Alex and any of the other guys, apart from his friendship with Chris. He didn't think his own connection with Alex would have been discernible to an onlooker either though, and he wasn't dumb enough to think he had any chance with Alex now, whether he was available or not.
After a particularly trying day of listening to Hogan lie about wanting the younger guys to have the spotlight, Jeff sat on the bench in the locker room, trying to look like he was staring into space when in fact he was watching Alex again. There were so many things about Alex that drove Jeff to distraction. Like his neck - Alex had the sexiest neck Jeff had ever seen. Sometimes when he was trying to sleep, Jeff was assailed by the memories of the hours he'd spent lavishing kisses and licks and bites on that delicious skin, and of the way it would arch back when Alex came.
Jeff hurriedly looked away from Alex's neck, his eyes roving down Alex's arms instead. They weren't safer territory though; he watched Alex's surprisingly elegant fingers move animatedly as he spoke, and Jeff remembered a dozen occasions when he'd returned to his room, tired and stressed out, and without asking him for any reciprocation, Alex had gently pushed him down onto the bed and used his mouth and hands to make Jeff forget the day had even happened. On each of those occasions, Alex had relaxed Jeff with the softest blowjob imaginable, and then laid his head on Jeff's chest and let his soothing touch lull Jeff to sleep. More often than not, Jeff was awake again a few hours later, full of tenderness and passion for the man who catered to him so selflessly, and Jeff enjoyed seeing Alex's pleasure more on those nights than on any other.
Jeff couldn't possibly have been more regretful that he'd let that end, and his gaze swept longingly up over Alex's chest, recalling the trails of soft kisses he'd left down it and up it and across it, and all the divine places those trails had led to. When he finally let himself look at Alex's face, Jeff was taken aback to find Alex looking right back at him, confusion written all over his features. There was no point in trying to pretend he hadn't been staring, so Jeff smiled apologetically and looked away.
Jeff didn't join the boys in the bar that night, opting instead to have a quiet night in his room. He spent most of it hoping he hadn't creeped Alex out; there were few things more disturbing than catching your ex staring hungrily at you. Jeff knew he shouldn't really have been doing it. It wasn't fair to Alex, and it wasn't as if Jeff's yearning was going to make any difference. He'd had his chance, and rather than letting himself dwell on how much he missed Alex, he should just be grateful for the times when Alex had been his.
Jeff decided that instead of moping, he was going to make an effort to recreate the days when his crappy hotel room was his private paradise - as well as he could on his own, at least. Kicking off his shoes, Jeff lay back on his bed and rested his hands on his stomach. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to settle himself, and he began concentrating on the things he could feel and hear; his clothes against his skin, the hard hotel bed beneath him, the slow thump of his heart. After a few minutes, he realised with dismay that he could also feel the phantom of Alex's head on his chest. Even after all this time, that was what he expected to feel in moments like this.
Before he had time to recentre himself, the silence of the room was broken by a tentative knocking on the door. Jeff pulled himself to his feet with a sigh and went to answer it.
Much to his surprise, when the door swung open, it revealed Alex standing in the hallway. He was still as gorgeous as ever, but the uncertainty in his eyes was new.
"Hey, Uncle Jeff."
With a broad smile, Jeff stepped aside to let Alex enter, and all of a sudden visualising his paradise was effortless.