Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own the song 1234 by The Plain White T's or Sonny with a Chance. But I ultimately, totally, positively love them both!
This little one-shot (that will probably be a fail, just to let you know) is for xxFrostedTeadropxx, otherwise known as Lia. Y'all know her as Ashellia (did I spell that right?) but to me, she's m'Lia. Anyway, I promised her I'd write this because she loves this song and needs something to read as she gets all strong again. But her awesomeness level is still off the charts. Anyway, Lia, I REALLY hope you like this. Because I probably won't.
1234
It had been one hour, 15 minutes, and five seconds since the break up. Otherwise known as the longest hour and fifteen minutes of Chad Dylan Cooper's life. Before Sonny had come along, he had been fine just being a jerk who got what he wanted. But now it was so much more than that. He wanted to be with her again. He needed her in his life, because without her…he was nothing. And that was just unacceptable.
He realized now that what he did wasn't exactly helpful, and she had a right to break up with him. Right now, he wishes he could break up with himself, but he needs her in his life, or else he can't function properly. His heart has nothing left to beat for.
If Chad had donated a quarter to a charity every time he messed up with Sonny, there would be no charities left, because everyone would be saved. That's how big of a jerk he figured out he was. But Chad was also determined to change that.
Sometimes, life is unpredictable. We make mistakes, and we do things that seemed right but were in actuality terribly wrong. The pressure of being a good person makes you lose yourself, until you're fighting against the blackness with all of your might. But we all know the superhero can't win every time.
Chad's understood a lot about who he truly was in the past hour, but there was one thing that stuck out the most. He knew he loved her. Without her, he would be nothing, and he couldn't fight his pounding heart or racing blood anymore. Every time he saw her, he had something to keep him grounded. He had something to make him a better person.
Before, there had been no reason to try. He had been a jerk, yes, but everyone loved it. The girls couldn't help but swoon, and the boys wanted to be just like him. Then, one day, one cool fall day, that all changed. A brunette came to Condor Studios, and she shook his whole world up, almost as if he lived in a snow globe.
Chad supposed he could have fought against it, or tried to put things back in order. But instead he decided to sit back, relax, and watch as the snow drifted down. He knew he could complain of the chill, but the only chill he felt was from looking into her deep chocolate eyes and feeling. He had never experienced magic quite like this, and it was intoxicating.
Watching the pretty colors spin around him, Chad knew there was no better feeling than being with her, and if he couldn't see her, his life would have no value. So he finally got up the courage to ask her out. There wasn't one thing he regretted.
Then a day came where he messed up. Big time. But she forgave him. And that was how the pattern began. He would mess up, she would fix it, he would say something without thinking, and she would somehow be the one apologizing.
Until one day where that suddenly wasn't enough anymore. He had messed up a little too much, said something a little too awful. And he was left with a shiny trophy and the memories of the past. There was no "them" anymore. It was simply a dream, lost in the wind and carried away, the promise of tomorrow floating away with it. And that just couldn't happen.
Chad knew what he had to do. There was only one thing left to do, actually. There was only one thing that might get her to take him back. And he was finally ready. He may end up looking like an idiot, but that didn't matter. Right now, she was all that mattered.
Chad drew in a deep breath, letting it out softly. Cowards didn't have girlfriends, so he couldn't be a coward. He had to be strong, and tell Sonny what was on his mind, even if it would be the last time he could do so. He had to try.
With one slow nod, Chad stood up, wiping away the tears that were threatening to spill over, and walked towards the place he used to think of as home. Chuckle City, land of the greatest comedians to walk the Earth. He may have told Sonny otherwise, but she was actually very talented, and so were her friends. He needed them in his life, too, come to think of it. Just not as much as his little ray of Sonshine.
As Chad reached her dressing room, he paused, his hand inches from the door, ready to knock. What if this wasn't enough? He wouldn't blame her if it wasn't. Chad had always been a selfish little brat. But he could, would change this time, if it meant keeping her. So he moved his hand closer, and he knocked.
There was shuffling from inside before a small voice finally spoke, leaving the door closed. "Hello?"
Right away Chad knew it was his Sonshine. She had been crying. He had made her cry. Right then, he vowed never to do it again, and he almost left, feeling like the lowest person in the world. It should be illegal to make such an amazing girl cry. But something stopped him from leaving that hallway. Chad knew how to put a smile back on her face. Well, at least he hoped he did. "…Sonny?"
He heard a sniffle and a sigh from behind the closed door, and could practically see her face. In his mind, she looked so hurt, and he could see his betrayal burning in her eyes. How much did it hurt her? He cursed himself silently for hurting her at all. "Go away. I'm not changing my mind, okay? Why don't you go get your stupid award from the Prop House and leave me alone?"
Looking down, Chad sighed. He couldn't give up that easily. Not when he knew he needed to tell her. But more importantly, he knew she needed to hear it. That was the better way to phrase it, because he was working on not always making everything about him. "I don't want an award, okay? I want my girlfriend back."
She scoffed, hitting the door softly with her fist. "Leave, Chad. It's always about what you want. You promised that would change, and it hasn't. I guess I just wasn't good enough, now was I?" He could hear the pain of worthlessness deep in her voice, almost masked by her anger but not quite able to hide fully.
Her words shocked Chad into silence for a second, but he soon found his voice. And now, he realized that the biggest mistake was not showing her he cared for her. "No, Sonny! That's not true! You're too good for me, and I really don't deserve you! But me wanting you has nothing to do with what I'm trying to say. It was a bad choice of words. I don't just want you…I need you, Shortstack. I…I love you." There. He had said it, and there was no taking it back now.
From behind the door, it sounded like Sonny had gone silent, and he debated leaving for a second, but decided to stick around to see what she would say. If she said anything at all, that is. Finally, in a low voice, she spoke. "I love you too, Chad. But…you need to learn to put others before yourself, and until that happens I can't and won't be with you."
Chad was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth in her words. He couldn't just fix this in one day. He needed time to grow as a person, so that when he came back for her nothing would stand in their way. "I…I guess I understand. This isn't some overnight project, and I can't fix things just yet without my ego getting in the way. But…I'll be back, Sonny. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week. But I'll be back. And when I come back, we won't be torn apart. You'll see. I can change. I will change."
There was silence on the other end, until she finally spoke again. "I'll see you then, Chad." And he knew it was time to go back to his set, and to go back to the way things were before she came along. But he would be back. And next time, they would both be ready for a committed relationship. He just needed time, and he knew she was giving it to him, though he knew he really didn't deserve it. Not from her, the girl he had stepped all over. But she had given it to him, and wouldn't be taking it back anytime soon, so he would accept it.
Someday, Chad would be a changed man. Someday, reality would punch him in the heart and make him realize that his ego wasn't worth it. But for now, he would have to make his own snow globe, by living to the beat of 1, 2, 3, 4.
Okay Lia, if you didn't like this I might cry, because it took me a while to get over the writer's block that turned out to be just in my head. Anyway, feel better, I love you. And to everyone else, reviews are like chocolate to me, and I am a true chocoholic. My poor teeth, huh? I know I sound stereotypical, but it really does make my day…the reviews, not the chocolate, though that makes me happy too. I love you, my little huggables! SMILES!
LOL