The Same Coin

Chapter 1: Prologue

Disclaimer: If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the lot of you, and burn your town to cinders!

"Houston, this is a human speaking."

"Damnit you retarded fuck, I'm not one of you monkey bitches! I'm a motherfucking DEMON!"

'Wow, this guy's really mad that I thought he was a human like me, with my human thinking and such!'

'If I could reach him, I think I'd go for the legs- no, the arms- no, that's wrong too. I know, I'd skin him! That'd be good for a few giggles.'

Hullaballoo, and howdy-doo! I've been pretty inactive on this site for a long time, but I was going through changes, and school, and a bunch of other bullshit that I don't need to justify to you. Instead, a brief overview of this story thing.
1. I'm making this up as I go.
2. The fourth wall only exists for the characters themselves.
3. I have no story planned out for this, I came up with an idea and I'm running with it.
4. If I don't update for a long time, I'm busy or uninspired or something. Send me a message telling me to get back on my ass and type.
5. If I'm not gonna continue the story (what little of it there is at the time of writing), I'll tell you.
6. I'm sarcastic and witty. Shut up.

BEGINNING OF CHAPTER

The Yondaime Hokage awoke, standing, bleary-eyed in a horizon-less gray plain. Looking down at himself, his eyes were greeted by a white, feature-less glowing apparition of his bodily form. "OH NO I'M A GHOST!"

"You're not a ghost. And fuck you." a gravelly, deep voice rumbled from behind.

"Who are you? What do you mean I'm not a ghost; I'm all ghosty and white and stuff!" Minato's voice echoed in the emptiness, showing just how much more this place was made for drama than, say, the laws of audiodynamics or some other such technobabble.

This second voice came from a figure as absolutely black as Minato was positively white. "My name's Raem, and being a ghost means that you're still tied to your world, which you're not. Your next question would be 'Where are we?'. The answer will be revealed in time, just as soon as I find out. And fuck you."

"Why do you keep saying that? It's mean!" Minato wasn't too bright; he was made Hokage because he was extremely pretty and all of the female council members voted for him, because otherwise the obvious choice would have been made, and Orochimaru would have been made Hokage, and one thousand years of peace and prosperity would have reigned. Oh well.

"I say fuck you because I hate you, and I'll keep hating you until you un-re-seal me. You're not gonna do that, so fuck you."

"Sup y'all bitches, how's tricks?" This newest character was fully visible, and he scared the bejeezus out of Minato. "I got you dicksticks in mah bellay, 'cause I'm the Shinigami!"

"Wow, you don't seem like the Shinigami would be like..." See? Not smart at all.

The Shinigami turned to Raem. "This dude serious?" Raem nodded his pitch black head in mock sadness. The Shinigami looked back at Minato and stared with narrowed eyes for several seconds. "...LIGHTNING!"

"!" Minato screamed in unimaginable suffering as his very soul was scorched and electrocuted by the Shinigami's lightning.

"Quit'cher bitchin' and listen up. Y'know yer kid, the one you sealed dark-and-scary into? Yeah he got his ass killed by some emo douche in a canyon. So I'm gonna make you" he pointed a finger at Minato, sending another errant lightning bolt into him, "like, twelve again and replace his dead ass with you. I'm also gonna combine you with the fox, 'cause I can't think of another way to get you two out of me without the other gods asking questions. Ya dig?"

"Fuck, can't I stay here?"

"Balls no. ...There, I did it. Now get the hell out, I got some hot goddesses comin' over and they want some Shinigami Scythe!" Sure enough, the white and black fused, and disappeared. However, it didn't happen quite the way it was supposed to... "Well shit, too late to worry about it now. Where's the chips in this place?"

END OF CHAPTER

Well, there you have it.