This is in responses to an hbx challenge I thought to write. Hope you like it its my first fan fiction. Please feel free to give any and all feed back. thanks to Doc100 for all your help.

I am new to this site and hope that you all don't mind if I write some for here. This just came to me when I saw what the challenge was for January. I hope you like it.

The challenge

Renee: You're not very good at relationships, are you?
Harm: Why do you say that?
Renee: Because you don't like to let people in

Harms apartment

Friday 1800 hours

Mattie was just finishing up her home work. Harm was finishing up some background work on a case, when Mac showed up at his door with two pizzas. One the veggies for Harm and pepperoni for her and Mattie or just for Mattie depending on how well Harm took to her being there. Jen was walking by on her way to her and Mattie's apartment. When harm answered the door and saw Mac and Jen standing there talking. Up until this point Harm and Mac were nice to each other at work but other then that there was no meeting out side of work. Although this was not all Macs doing. Harm took it as that was what she wanted. For that reason he left it up to her where their friendship stood. Harm would do anything for Mac even if it meant he got hurt he would still do it for her and only her.

When Harm saw Mac and Jen in the hall he invited them in. Mattie took one smell of the air from the couch and told Mac she loved her. Also that Harm wouldn't let her get pizza for dinner that often and she was not looking forward to what he was planning on for dinner tonight what ever it might have been. Mac just looked and Harm and said "I bet". After everyone had eaten Mattie and Jen went to their apartment for the night. Harm was left with Mac in his and the uneasy silence that was now left setting there with them.

After years of knowing each other moments like this were not supposed to be there. Harm and Mac both thought to themselves. But yet here it was. Mac asked Harm how he was doing and tried to stick to easy flowing topics and not too deep in his personal life. Mac thought that way he would not get in too deep in her personal live. But Mac forgot this was Harm and he was nothing if not her best friend and wanted what was best for her. So after a few minutes the talking went to how was she doing? When Mac was very short with her answers Harm took them at first but when he learned Webb was out of town again. He asked her why she was doing this to herself and got up from his seat on the far end of the couch and went to stand beside his bar stool. He knew this would get a rise out of her and she didn't disappoint him.

Harm was starting to let Mac slip in under his wall that he had built to keep his heart safe. When he realized this he knew if he didn't find away for her to leave soon it didn't matter if she was with Webb or not he was going to be telling her how she made him go crazy just by being in the same room as he was. As much as he hated to admit it even to himself he could never hurt her that way no matter what he felt since it was

apparent that she didn't feel the way he does. Harm knew he had to distance himself from her and the best way to do that was to pick a fight with her. So in turn that is what he did.

Mac had been think along the same lines as Harm about how nice the night and the talking was going. To her it was like having her best friend back. But she could also see the moment that his walls went back up. In spite of the fact she knew what he was doing she still let him get to her. Mac looked him in the eyes and told him that what she did with Clay was not any of his business. Then she went to his door and told him that she hoped he was happy with the way his live was going because if he didn't let go soon he would lose the chance to live the life he would like to. At that she stormed down the stairs. Then out to her car and out of the parking lot. She wanted to head home but she was too upset to do that so she went out for a drive around the DC area. She found herself at the Wall and decided to go and just see the name of the man that has meant so much to Harm as well as her over the years.

Back at Harms apartment Mattie and Jen had heard the last thing that Mac had said to Harm. At that Mattie and Jen both were beyond upset with the way Harm had once again hurt Mac. So instead of keeping their mouths shut like they had for the past few months. They both decide while Mattie decides and Jen went along for back up that they were gong to talk to Harm. When they came to his door about 5 min. after Mac had left, they found the door open and Harm standing in the same spot with a look of hurt on his face. Harm was not really looking at anything: just staring off like he was lost in thought.

Mattie did the only thing she could think to do. She walked right up to him and slapped him on his face lightly just enough to get his attention. At this Mattie pushed her luck and yelled at him you're not very good at relationships, are you? It took Harm a few minutes to think of an answer to her question. Harm was torn between telling her that it was none of her business and telling her the truth. Harm had told Mattie that she could ask him any thing. Also he had told her that there was nothing more important than the truth. So in the end he denied the best way to not have to answer hers was to ask her a question "why do you say that? " Harm asked Mattie. Knowing Harm the way Mattie and Jen both do they expected this answer so for the first time Jen spoke up." Because you don't like to let people in sir "Jen told him. Harm answered "I let you both in." Mattie said yea you did but it's not the same as letting Mac in. Harm looked confused and Jen spoke up again." Sir what Mattie and I mean is its easy to let us in cause Mattie is like your child and I'm like your sister. There is not that much to lose with us. That didn't come out right. What I meant was there's more on the line with Mac than there is with us sir. She has held your heart for many years and we have just recently come into your life."

Mattie could usually talk to Harm without her temper getting in her way but this time she had lost the fight with that. She walked up to him and said" Harm you know that I love you and that I would do anything in the world for you. But if you want to throw away the love of your life like she was nothing to you I don't know if I could look at you the same way any more." At that simple statement Harm knew that they were right. But he didn't know how to fix what he had done. So he just looked around for a minute to get his bearings. Harm got the idea of where he could go to think of a way to make Mac see that he wanted her as more than a friend

end part one part two post soon.