...
There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark
Rachel Barbra Berry was on a mission.
She was going to lose her virginity. And fast.
Usually when girls are this determined to lose their virginity, it's because of the pressure to be "cool" but Rachel Berry was not one of those girls.
She needed to lose it as a stepping stone to stardom.
She'd been thinking about it ever since the last rehearsal of West Side Story.
"Can I be honest?" Artie had said after Rachel and Blaine's performance of 'Tonight'. "The song is about sexual awakening, as is the entire musical. You two lack passion. Have either of you two actually...?"
"Wow, OK, I have to go." Ms. Pillsbury got up from her seat.
"Those footballs aren't going to inflate themselves." Coach Beiste got up just a second later.
"Look, I remember my first time with Brittany; the excitement, the way it made me feel like a man...even though she called me the wrong name like four times...during and after...What was it like for you guys?" Artie looked up at them expectantly.
"Well, um..." Rachel flustered.
"Um, I'm waiting for the right time." Blaine said.
"Yeah! Yeah. Yeah, me too." Breathing a sigh in relief, she turned to Blaine. "I'm so glad that you're my Tony."
"Look, as your friend, I support your strange aversion to fun but as your director, I'm concerned." Artie said in a completely serious tone.
"I'm..." She was floored. "I'm sorry. What do you mean?"
"Well, how are you going to convey the human experience to an audience when you haven't even opened yourself up to one of humanity's most basic and primal ones?" He asked pointedly.
Your average girl would have died of embarrassment on the spot but Rachel Berry's only thought was that she needed to lose her virginity before Opening Night.
This takes us back into the school hallways, where she was marching furiously to the football locker rooms.
As she walked in the doors, she could hear someone turning on shower taps.
Excellent. She thought as she rounded the corner. They could get this over and done with right there and then.
The school was almost deserted as classes ended five minutes ago and she was already dressed for the occasion in a pretty, pink, spaghetti strap floral dress and matching stilettos. OK, so maybe it wasn't your typical sexy dress but she had made sure it was short and tight, accentuating her curves.
Those little walls, which reached just above a guy's waist separating each shower, came into view.
"Finn." She said. "We need to ta–"
The boy took his face out of his hands and turned to face her.
"Holy Moses..." Rachel breathed as she took in the sight of the wet, half-naked boy before her standing in the shower, uncomfortably aware that he was completely naked behind that wall.
"Well, hey..." His lips twitched into a smile.
"Sorry." Rachel quickly spun around to go.
"Hey, no, wait, you don't have to go...it's okay." He chuckled. "I mean...you can't actually see anything."
"Right." She stopped but refused to turn around, still mortified. "I just, um, I was just looking for someone else."
She closed her eyes as she heard the taps being turned off.
"In the showers?"
There was a weird muffling sound as Rachel tried to come up with a response.
"A quickie in the showers." He said before she could think of anything. "Naughty."
His suggestive tone hit a nerve.
"I'll have you know I am not usually like this." She spat out.
"What? Naughty?"
"In fact I'm not like this at all." She carried on, ignoring him. "I have never done this before. But lately I've decided that I need to."
"You've never had sex in the school showers but lately you've decided you need to?" She could hear the incredulousness in his voice.
Silence.
"You've never had sex but lately you've decided you need to?" His voice changed. Then before she could respond, he added "You can turn around now, you know. I'm fully clothed."
She slowly turned back around and peeked open an eye to see him smiling and shaking his head at her but he was true to his word. She breathed a sigh of disappointment. Wait, what? Sorry, she breathed a sigh of relief. Relief.
Now that she could think clearly, she curiously studied the man. He seemed to be around her age, maybe a bit older. His blonde hair was still wet and dripping over the white suit shirt, dark blue denim skinny jeans and white sneakers he was now wearing. He was tall but not as tall as Finn. If it was a competition however, this guy would clearly win due to the glorious body underneath his clothes...
Rachel dragged herself back to reality in time to see his blue-green eyes laughing at her.
"So you're a virgin?" He continued as if this wasn't a totally inappropriate thing to ask a stranger.
"I –" She shut her mouth. "Why am I even having this conversation with you?"
"No, you misunderstand me. So you're a virgin. It's cool. It's sweet." He shrugged. "I'm just a bit surprised...I mean, you're an attractive woman...and you seem old enough..."
He called her a woman.
He called her attractive.
He called her an attractive woman.
"Anyway, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I'm being rude. I haven't even introduced myself yet." He held out his hand. "I'm Sam."
"Rachel." She slipped her hand into his easily and held it for a moment. It was a weird moment. Sparks didn't exactly fly at the touch but all of a sudden she felt really warm. Like really pleasantly toasty warm. "Are you new here? Because I haven't seen you around before."
"Yeah, actually, I am." He glanced around and picked up his sports bag. "Uh, do you think maybe we could continue talking over coffee? I don't think we're allowed to be in here."
"Okay." She agreed before she could really think about it.
They walked out of the school in companionable silence until they reached a nearby cafe where they sat opposite each other at an intimate table in the corner and ordered. Wait...intimate? Small. She meant small.
Rachel didn't know what was wrong with her. She loved Finn, she was going to lose her virginity to Finn and now here she was with a guy she just met.But it's not a date...so I guess it's okay, she reasoned with herself. Sure, she found herself attracted to him but that was probably just because she walked in on him in the showers when she was planning on having sex for the first time. It was just her body getting confused and running away with her. There was no reason to let that get in the way of her relationship or making friends with the new kid.
Kid. Looking over at Sam, Rachel decided that kid was definitely not the right word to describe him.
"So you were going to have sex for the first time...in the school showers?" He frowned in a disapproving manner but his eyes were smiling at her. "Scandalous."
"I..." Her mouth gaped open as she blushed furiously. "Oh, no, yeah, okay, we are not talking about this."
"Why not?" He teased but then part of him turned serious. "Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger about your problems."
"But I'm going to have to see you every day at school and then you won't be a stranger."
"So it's better to talk to me now. While I'm still a stranger."
"How does that even make sense?" She said as the waitress came over with their banana splits.
She clapped her hands giddily and immediately dug in, conversation momentarily forgotten. "Ugh, this so unhealthy but I don't even care. I feel like a little kid again."
It wasn't until the fifth or sixth bite that she realised he was staring at her with a look she couldn't understand.
"What?" She said, putting the spoon down and wiping her mouth self-consciously.
"Nothing." He half-smiled at her then quickly looked down and started eating his. "It's just...I've never seen a girl be so enthusiastic about food before. Actually I've never seen anyone be so enthusiastic about anything before."
"Oh." She bit back a smile. "Well, you'll just have to get used to it. What's the point of life if you're not enthusiastic about it?"
His smiled widened. "Okay, well, what's the point in life if you can't talk about it to other people? So talk."
"Is this about the whole sex thing again?" She asked uncertainly.
"It doesn't have to be." He shrugged. "Just tell me about your life."
She hesitated for a moment – just a moment and then it was gone. "As I think you've already figured out...I was planning on losing my virginity to my boyfriend...and I didn't care if it was in the school showers..."
Rachel didn't know why she was telling him this but once she got past the awkwardness, it felt good to get it out.
"Why haven't you already had sex?" He asked curiously.
"Um..." She thought about it for a minute. "I don't know. I guess I was waiting for the right person and then once I found him...I was waiting for the right time."
"How long have you two been together?"
"Well...it's been four months of no fighting or...threats of us breaking up...but it's difficult to say how long we've actually been together. We've always been quite on and off and the lines were always kind of blurred."
"So why now?"
She bit her lip. "This is going to sound really bad but I need the experience to help my acting. I'm playing a character who finds her sexual awakening."
"I see." He said flatly but raised his eyebrow.
"Look, a part of me has always wanted to lose my virginity to him but...this is just...simply what is pushing me." She said defensively.
"Okay, look, honestly...I lost my virginity a long time ago. At the time, I felt pretty damn good about it." He smirked briefly but then turned serious. "But after the glory wore off, it was really stupid and then I really regretted it. And now...not so much because it was a mistake I had to learn from in order to grow as a person. But I wouldn't want anyone to make my mistakes. You can make your own mistakes. So this?I know a lot of people think you're a better actor if you're similar to the character but I always thought the opposite. I mean, it's called actingfor a reason, right? I'm not trying to tell you what to do or not to do...just know that doing this because you feel like you have to? Bad idea. I can say that from personal experience. You don't have to do this. You don't have to rush this. If something's meant to be, it's going to happen. With the right person, at the right time and for all the right reasons."
There was silence for a while.
"Wow." Rachel said finally. "Just...just wow. Really, Sam, I have no idea what to say...that was really sweet...I mean...you've given me a lot to think about. So...um...thank you?" She said uncertainly.
"You're...welcome." Sam said just as uncertainly.
She met his eyes curiously for a moment and when she saw the openness in them, she smiled shyly. "Okay, now it's your turn."
He laughed. "What do you want to know?"
"Well..." She tilted her head suddenly and narrowed her eyes at him. "You're new?"
"Yes..."
"Was today your first day?"
"More of an orientation really."
"Why were you using the showers in the football locker rooms?"
His smile faded. Just the tiniest bit. "It's kind of personal..."
"You wanted me to talk about personal things." She pointed out as she scooped up the last of her ice cream.
He studied her for a moment then, as if coming to a decision, he sighed and reached his hand across the table to hers. "My house...was kind of foreclosed on recently. I've been living in a motel room...it's so cheap there aren't even showers...not functioning and clean ones that I can use anyway...I know you're only supposed to shower in there if you're on the football team...but I just saw an opportunity and I took it...you don't even want to know long I went for without a shower until today. Hopefully I can get in there early every day and shower before school. Don't tell anyone." He added the last part in a teasing tone but there was an undercurrent of seriousness to it.
"I won't." She said softly.
They shared a look for a long moment until the ice cream that she had been holding in mid-air melted off the spoon and landed with a splat on his hand.
"Oh dear god, I am so sorry." She gasped, mortified for what seemed to be the third time in half an hour in the presence of the gorgeous man.
"Oh, no, it's fine." He said and then abruptly flicked some of his ice-cream at her. "Now we're even."
"Hey! No!" She cried. "No, we're not. So you got ice-cream on your hand. I've got ice-cream in my hair!"
"If it will make you feel any better, you can chuck some ice-cream in my hair." Sam grinned.
"Oh no." Rachel cried dramatically. "I wouldn't want to do that; wouldn't want to ruin those beautiful bottle blonde locks you got going there."
His lips twitched and then suddenly he burst into laughter. "You think I dye my hair?"
"I don't know. It is a very pretty blonde."
"This," He grabbed one of her hands and ran it through his hair, "is my natural hair color. As you can see, it is blonde. But I used to dye it even blonder with lemon juice. Not only that but I actually used to have a full-on Justin Bieber fringe. But as you can see, now it is just a side fringe."
"Justin Bieber doesn't have a full fringe now either." She pulled her hand back.
"No offence but I don't really care." Sam laughed.
Rachel pouted and aimed her own spoonful of ice-cream at him. The glob landed on the wall behind him.
"Horrible aim." He hurled the cherry from the top of his split at her. It flew to the other side of the cafe and hit the huge window at the front and slid slowly down to the floor.
"You can talk." She snorted and threw another spoonful of ice-cream at him. It hit his side fringe and some dripped onto his cheek.
"Hey!" Their waitress from before came running to their table. "I think you two should leave. I'm going to have to clean this up now!"
"Sorry." They mumbled their apologies and as soon as they left, they burst into laughter.
"Ohmygod..."
"That was..."
"Did you..."
"Oh god..." Sam wiped a tear from his eye.
They continued walking – it was a short walk – and occasionally bursting into laughter again and didn't even realise where they were going until Rachel had led Sam to her house.
"Well this is – Ahh!" She squealed as he shook his hair like a dog and purposefully landed the melting ice-cream on her nose. "No – Stop it –"
He laughed and bumped his nose onto hers to wipe it off while putting his hands on her waist and pulling her close for balance. She in turn put her hands on his chest.
Once he smudged the ice-cream on both their noses, their laughter slowly subsided and both slowly became aware of the position they were in.
"Um." Rachel said, breaking the moment of silence. "This is my house."
She felt strangely calm. Even though she should've been freaking out over how she was practically in the arms of this stranger, she wasn't. It felt natural.
"I know this is wildly inappropriate because you have a boyfriend." Sam breathed. "But I'm dying to kiss you right now."
"Um." Was her intelligent response then before she could say anything else, he closed the last inch between them with his lips.
It wasn't fireworks like she expected. It was weird. It was a weird feeling starting in her heart. The feeling was warm. Like fire. It wasn't a hugely passionate kiss in the sense of attacking each other with their mouths and yet, in a way, it was more passionate becausethey weren't. It was sensual. It was sweet and slow and soft, their lips meeting at the lightest of touches, his tongue gently caressing hers almost as if trying to savour the taste and feel of her, she; breathing in the smell of him which was just this indescribable essence of fresh and soap and clean, no sounds except the beating of her heart and she could feel his beating in his chest gently against hers.
And just like that, it was over. The moment seemed to last forever but that was all it was – a moment. It couldn't have lasted for more than five seconds.
Breathing unsteadily, their eyes both still closed, he leant in again.
As if sensing it, Rachel's eyes snapped open and she quickly stepped back before he could kiss her again.
"I'm sorry. I..." She struggled to find the words. "My boyfriend broke up with me before because I cheated on him by making out with another guy. He went back to his ex and it was horrible and it took a long time for us to get back to where we are now. I just...I can't let that happen again. I'm sorry."
Something flashed across his face for a moment, too fast for her to catch and then it was gone – replaced by blank coolness.
"It's cool. It's fine." He said. "At least we can be friends, right?"
"Right." She laughed a little, nervous because she wasn't sure if she could be friends with him.
"Alright. Well, I guess, I'll, uh." He took a deep breath. "I'll see you at school."
She said nothing but took deep breaths, trying to calm herself until he had walked out of her sight.
That's better, she thought. You did the right thing. Don't you feel all better now?
She didn't. Not by a long shot. It wasn't until the next morning that she felt better. She woke up able to see things clearly now.
Clearly she doesn't have to lose her virginity to Finn. I mean, she expects she eventually will but key word being eventually.
Clearlythe only reason she was attracted to Sam was because he was the one meant to make her realise that she doesn't have to lose her virginity to Finn. And now that he has made her realise this, she can go on being in a happy relationship that doesn't need sex with Finn.
Clearly she is meant to be with Finn and friends with Sam. Hallelujah. Rachel Berry has seen the light.
It was with this set clear in mind that she arrived at McKinley High this morning, wearing a short sleeve red-pink buttoned shirt with ribbons tied up in a bow knot at the collar, black ruffled miniskirt and black flats.
"Mr. Schue?" She said uncertainly as she walked into her usual room for English.
"Rachel." He turned around from the Spanish he was writing on the blackboard and smiled at her.
"This is Ms Robinson's English classroom." Rachel pronounced each word slowly as if pointing out something very obvious to a small child.
A flicker of irritation came across Will's face but then he regained his composure. "Yes, I know that, Rachel." He said almost as slowly. "There's been a room change. The English classroom is now E17. What are you doing here so early anyway? The first bell hasn't even gone yet and you have English at the end of the day, not the start."
"I wanted to ask if she's marked my language analysis essay yet."
"Uh, I doubt that she has. She left for personal leave yesterday. Won't be back until next year by which then you will already have graduated anyway. Your new teacher should be grading those essays tonight, though."
"New teacher?" Rachel's voice raised several octaves. "But she promised me an A Plus!"
Will sighed, sensing Rachel's dramatics. "Your new teacher is Mr. Evans." He said, hoping to hurry her out of the room before she caused a scene. "I suggest you go find him and talk to him about it."
"Fine." She sniffed and quickly made her way down the hallway, only slowing down when E17 came into her sight.
She looked through the window on the door and saw the back of a blonde man wiping something off the blackboard.
Curiously, she knocked on the door and she heard a muffled "Come in."
Rachel gently opened the door, taking a tentative step inside the classroom. "Mr. Evans? I'm here to talk about my...Sam?" She finished incredulously as he put the blackboard wiper down and turned around.
"Hello, Rachel." He smiled and proudly stood up straight.
"Well..." Her eyebrows furrowed and she bit her lip as she looked him up and down.
He was wearing a grey cardigan unbuttoned, a red and black striped tie with silver lining, over a long sleeve white buttoned shirt, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tucked into black skinny jeans with a black belt and matched with a classic black pair of white-soled, white-laced high-top sneakers.
"How do I look for my first day of school?" He beamed.
Rachel held back a laugh. "You look so nerdy. But it's cute."
He just smiled even wider, if that was even possible. Looking buzzed and unable to stay still, he shifted from foot to foot and fidgeted with his cardigan.
"Ohmygod, you are such a nerd." Rachel couldn't help but smile. There was such a feverish excited light in his eyes; it was infectious. "Look at you all excited for your first day of school like a little boy on Christmas morning! Why, you even –"
The bell rang, signalling students to get their books from their lockers for their first period.
"Oops," He grinned. "Better get going now or you'll be late to class and make a bad impression."
"Unlike you, Mr. Punctual." She raised her eyebrow and grinned then quickly walked off to find her locker.
She didn't seem to have any of the same classes as him that day and she couldn't find him during lunch. At one point, Finn asked why she kept looking over her shoulder and she simply answered with "nothing". It's not like she had anything to hide. Rachel totally planned on telling Finn all about what happened between her and Sam. She just wanted them to meet first – totally by accident – and have Finn see for himself that he had nothing to be worried about.
The problem was the "getting them to meet by accident" part. She had simply hoped that sometime throughout the day, she and Finn would bump into Sam. Sadly, she hadn't seen Sam since this morning and she couldn't help but be disappointed.
Disappointed because you couldn't get your chance to clear the air, Rachel told herself. Not disappointed because, say, you didn't get to see a certain pair of gorgeous blue-green eyes since this morning.
She sighed as she sat down for her last class of the day and then caught herself. She wasn't supposed to be sighing at the mere thought of anyone's eyes except her boyfriend's!
She was one of the first people to sit down as usual. The first bell had already rung, signalling for people to get to class and now the second bell was ringing to signal that class should be starting.
Rachel was already setting out her books on her desk as other people were only just arriving. Namely, Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez and Brittany S. Pierce.
"If you're asking me, Rachel did you a favour." Santana said, unabashedly loud. "Speaking from experience, Finn is terrible in bed."
"San, that is not cool." Brittany said.
"Britt, if Quinn insists on wanting Rachel's sloppy seconds, she should at least know the truth."
"They're still together." Quinn said, irritated. "And if they weren't, he would hardly be her sloppy seconds. If anything, he's mine. I was his first girlfriend." She looked pointedly at Rachel as she said this.
Rachel quickly ducked her head, letting her hair fall like a curtain blocking her face from the rest of the class and flipped open her notebook, trying to look like she was intensely writing notes when really she was just doodling gold stars.
"Whatever." Santana flipped her ponytail as she slipped into a seat at the back. "What you need is to stop pining after Frankenteen and find yourself a rebound guy. I hear our new English teacher is really hot."
"Santana." Quinn shook her head but she was smiling as she slipped into the seat next to Santana and Brittany took her seat next to Quinn.
Rachel rolled her eyes, still keeping her head down and drawing. Honestly, how could you talk about your teacher like that?
"Alright." A male voice broke out, silencing the class until all you could hear was the scrape of chalk on the blackboard. "I am Mr. Evans and I am your new English teacher."
Rachel's hand froze. That almost sounded like...no, it couldn't be...
She looked up to find him standing in front of a blackboard with Mr. Evanswritten on it, calmly gazing around the room as if trying to get to know the students' faces.
Then his gaze landed on her face and his expression went from calm to recognition to joy to confusion to realisation to horror all in a matter of seconds. It was comical to watch really and difficult for anyone in the class to miss.
"Holy shit." Sam breathed.
AN:I'd like to think of this as my first fanfiction. I started to write a multiple chapter Gossip Girl songfiction a few years ago but that was quickly abandoned and has since been deleted.
I would like to acknowledge that this story is partly based on two different gif sets I found on Tumblr (I'll put the links up on my profile) and Pretty Little Liars.
Lyrics at the beginning are from Rolling In The Deep by Adele.
Title of the story comes from a song by Taylor Swift.
Apart from that, I own this story but not Glee.
P.S. What on earth is the category "World: Concerts, Books or Movies"?