disclaimer: I do not own Mortal Instruments or any characters.
I sat alone in the hallway with my head in my hands while my dad paced his office on the phone with the funeral parlor, and M om was in the living room still crying, where she has been for a couple hours now. She was sobbing about 'her poor babies was gone'. It was my fault John and Sebastian were gone. My older brothers were dead and I knew it was all my fault. They would do anything to protect me and when I called them scared of course they came out at two in the morning. They had been at a party drunk but they couldn't stand to hear me cry. I should have been stronger. I shouldn't have insisted on them coming to get me, begging them. If I hadn't been so weak they would be here. If I hadn't snuck out... it was all my fault. They wanted to meet their niece and nephew so bad. They saved my life when Simon turned violent, My babies father tried killing me. I sobbed loudly. Oh god I knew better then to go back to him. He never wanted these kids and now it cost my brothers their lives. Why did I survive?
"Clarissa, the doctors are here to check on you and the twins." I sobbed hearing this, Seb and John had been twins. That was the biggest reason they were so excited. They wanted to chose favorites. My dad wouldn't meet my eyes either. He blamed me for being alive, for killing his sons. I walked downstairs to the living room where the doctor was waiting. The same doctor Seb, John, and I have been seeing since birth. I held back my tears of pain and grief.
"Hello Clarissa, can you please tell me what happened?" I shook myself. I couldn't because she would blame me too and no one could blame me more then I blame myself. "We need to know, you can't this to yourself. The stress can harm your babies." I heard my dad mumble something that sounded like ' Good let her know how it feels' under his breath.
"Simon called me. He wanted to make it up to me, He begged me. He wanted to be a family but really... really he wanted to get rid of me. His girlfriend had broken up with him because she couldn't be with someone who had kids and a tie with another woman. He became angry. He... He began to come at me with a knife. I managed to get in his bedroom, lock the door and then go out the window. I ran. I couldn't think of anything else. He tried to kill me. I called Seb and John, begging them to come get me. They were there within minutes. I got in the car without thinking and cried myself to sleep. I remember bright lights through the windshield and then nothing. The police told me John had strayed into the wrong lane and it was a miracle me and the babies made it. It hit us head on and the boys.. They died." My dad looked horrified. I had told everyone I was out with friends and got tired. It was easier for them to hate me.
"Well clary, your parents have decided to send you to New York to go to a home for unwed mothers where they are better suited to assist through the rest of your pregnancy." I looked down and gulped.
"When do I leave?"
"Tomorrow morning at seven. Please don't come back, your mother and I can't stand the memories and to see your babies when we just lost our two. Take care we will send you money and whatever you need but please don't call or come visit." My dad still wouldn't meet my eyes and I began to sob. They were abandoning me, leaving me alone. I couldn't do this... I can't do this.