You look at him. Trying so desperately to take in the features of his face. The small dimple in his right cheek, the way the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles so bright, the delicate weave of a scar caused by childish idiocy many years ago, long, thick eyelashes that framed bright hazel eyes.
To think you could have lost him. Could have lost the light in yours and so many others lives. The very thought chills you to the bone. A life without him is a life without purpose.
You once lived fueled by a promise sworn on a sword, but now you live a life fueled by a promise of adventure and a family. A promise that you are certain won't break until the adventure is complete, until dying breaths leave pale lips. You know that for certain.
This journey in life will bring many obstacles, but you know that no matter the problem that blocks your path you'll find a way through. No matter how long it takes or how many more scars find home on your worn body, you are certain of one thing.
You will see him become king.
For now though, you think to yourself, why not enjoy the peaceful moments?
Hazel eyes flicker to meet ocean blue. You smile and so does he, reaching a small hand up to gently caress the scar that seals your left eye shut. He giggles as the earrings on your left ear jingle a faint tune.
You reach a hand out to stroke through his unruly dark hair, it's getting longer now and you think to yourself that it may need cut. He leans in to the faint touch and his smile widens.
Perfect, you think.
You glance to the side and see the old, tattered straw hat. How much had it survived with just its current holder? How much had this hat actually been though? More than you will ever go though and you know that. You know that the boy in your lap would give up many things for that hat, just like you would do with your white sword, but you know you'd also give up many more things to keep that hat safe.
Does he know that? You think, he probably does.
You slip your gaze from the hat to the boy you swore your life to, who's eyes are now closed with content and is taking slow, deep breaths.
Your eye softens as you look at him once more, again trying ever so desperately to memorise every feature of his body.
The slow, rhythmic movement of his chest with each breath, the slight tense of muscles in his arms when you move, the small twitch of his fingers when you huff deliberately.
And that mark that's scorched deep into his skin.
The very thing you never wanted to see on him. Especially one that signified so many things. A time of scattered bodies, faces new and old, of blood stained stones, of fire and magma, of burning flesh.
It hurt more because you knew, you knew that mark was meant to kill.
But he lived. You don't believe in a god but you thank whatever deity, which ever one will listen, for saving your dear captains life. You know you'd travel to hell and back just to see him safe, just to see him happy and smiling, just to be with him. You don't know if you'd be able to continue if he wasn't by your side.
You don't remember what your life was like before he forced his way in with a bright smile and a second chance at life. He saved you. The younger you would have hated to admit that, but you're a wiser man now and you know you wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for him. You wouldn't have gotten this fair in your journey, you'd have broken your promise to her.
Now you have more to live for. No longer just a childhood memory, but also him. Your promise to him found home in your white sword alongside hers. And you'd do everything in your power to keep it.
Your gaze flickers to the white sword before coming back and resting on him. You would have denied it two years ago, but now you're certain.
You love this man.
You can't help but stay by him, basking in all the light he seems to radiate. His unwavering faith in his crew, in you, made you feel strong. His words brought forth joy, they brought forth hope, and they brought forth love. He seemed simple to an outsider but you knew he was more complicated than even the hardest of puzzles. Mind working in weird and wonderful ways and all connected with the drive of living for his family.
But you know he thinks of you differently. A different form of love has strengthened the bond between both of you. The side of him that you get to see will never be exposed to others eyes. It's for you only.
His very being taints your soul. His quiet words that only you hear leave you yearning for more. He leaves marks on your skin that scorch your mind with pleasure. You crave more, you crave him, you want to know more.
One day he'll tell you everything.
He shifts in your lap. You watch as his eyes flutter open again and calm hazel focuses on you. He smiles. You smile back. He reaches a hand up to nudge your chin with his knuckle, you glare at him and he laughs. A soft, gentle laugh full of love.
He sits up to glance out of the window. You watch as his expression softens and his gaze lingers on the rest of the crew below.
You watch his shoulders droop, his hands slowly uncurl, and a peaceful smile settle on his face. He turns round to look at you with that smile still settled there. He giggles quietly and shifts in next to you, now shoulder to shoulder with each other. He leans his head on your shoulder and breathes out.
You think to yourself maybe moments like this aren't so bad.