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52 SHADES OF JAX
Jax had been thinking about his future. He was an OK mechanic, but as he told Tara the day he got out of prison and proposed to her, the only thing he had ever done well was outlaw. He had been an idiot because there was something else that he was even better at than outlawing and that was sex.
Short of doing porn or having sex with women for money, there had to be another way to turn all his sexual knowledge into cash. He had been bored and was flipping through TV channels when he found this movie called 50 Shades of Grey. He had been lucky that the movie was already in progress because it shortened the torture he endured by watching it.
For a movie about sex, it bored him limp. Never had he seen a movie that was supposed to be sexy be so unsexy. The guy playing Christian looked like he needed laxatives. He seemed miserable. Jax knew he was much hotter and would have made a much better Christian.
Jax displayed some basic computer skills and found out how many millions of dollars the writer of the 50 Shades book made and then he read the reviews of the book. The reviews were scathing. Here was a woman who wrote a terrible book with lots of sex and made a shitload of money.
He could put words together into sentences. That's how he was going to make millions. Forget outlawing. He was going to be a writer and not just an ordinary writer, he was going to write sexually explicit novels with edge and kink or mommy porn which was the same thing.
Every book has to have a leading man or hero. His guy was going to be a badass outlaw biker who was president of his MC in the small town of Charming. Everyone always said you should write what you know. He decided it would be cool to use Jax for the character's name. He would use a fake name for the book because he wouldn't want his real name associated with that kind of book.
He started to think of the book as more of a movie. He had his leading man and now he needed his leading lady. In the 50 Shades movie, the leading lady was younger. Maybe his leading lady should be a little older or the same age as Jax. That might go over better with the soccer mom audience. Someone had to be rich and since the Jax character was in an outlaw MC, it wasn't going to be him.
She would only be a millionaire. He didn't like the amount of greed that was popular in romance novels where the rich guy had to be a billionaire. There was nothing wrong with a story if the character were only a millionaire. Her name was going to be Hope. It had a kind of innocent and sweet sound.
Jax frowned as he went through possible careers or businesses for Hope. It hit him. She would own the local hospital. They would meet when one of the MC guys got hurt and was in the hospital. No, that was too average. He needed a better first meeting. Something with some edge and kink.
He had it. Jax was down in the hospital's morgue having sex with a dead ex-girlfriend because, as she lay dying, she begged him to do this last thing for her. It was her last request. He couldn't deny her that. He's having sex with the dead ex when Hope walks in. Perfect. She will be sexually repulsed and aroused at the same time because she envies the dead ex.
They would have this sexual battle of wills that would let them explore all kinds of sexual kinks as they fight for sexual dominance, but can sex stay hot when feelings start to develop or is love the enemy of meaningless sex? He frowned. He wasn't sure if that made any sense. It sounded good though. Like something that chirpy voice that narrated Sex and the City might say.
He wondered what he should call his novel. It came to him in a burst of genius. He would call it 52 Shades of Jax. It was kind of a take-off on 50 Shades of Grey only better because Jax was so much sexier than Christian Grey. The sex would be better, kinkier and hotter.
Jax began to write . . .
Is this a real story or an April Fool's Day prank?