Forest Glenny 04
PG for language, and light, diet, decaffeinated slashiness implied.
Disclaimer: If I were stoned, I might think that I was worthy enough to have created them. But I'm not, so I don't.
A rather sillier and more dialogue-y sequel to "Please Tear Along Dotted Line".
Sirius was staring blankly into the newly-installed refrigerator at 12 Grimmauld Place.
"Sirius, why are you staring blankly at the fridge?" Remus asked, not looking up from his paper. Sirius just shut the door and began to pace, his bunny-slippered feet making light shuffling sounds against the stone floor. He plopped down at the table across from Remus, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm hungry!" he whined. Remus rolled his eyes.
"Eat something then," he replied, thwaping his friend lightly over the head with the rolled up Arts and Entertainment section. Sirius pouted, rubbing at his mop of hair.
"There isn't anything to eat! You ate the last of the shepherd's pie for lunch, and I had the pizza, so there's nothing left."
You see, it was approximately four in the afternoon, and time for Sirius' second lunch routine. He had decided that the best way to recover from fifteen years of not eating was to eat a lot, and had hence adopted the hobbit style of munching, which included at least two breakfasts and lunches, and dinner, and midnight snack, which wasn't always eaten at midnight.
"There's always Molly's pea soup."
"Let me rephrase that. Nothing good is left."
Remus sighed an exasperated sigh. "There's always Ramen."
"Nope. We've done that already.(1)" He was quiet for a few moments, and Remus took a sip of tea. "And anyway, I really want some chocolate."
"Then eat some damn chocolate! We have M&Ms in the pantry!"
"But I don't want M&Ms!" Sirius whined, ducking Remus' attempt to behead him with the A+E section. "I want chocolate pudding!"
Remus paused, his voice dangerously dead and plinky. "Pudding?"
"Yes."
"Chocolate?"
An emphatic nod.
"Any particular brand name?"
Sirius paused to consider this for a moment. "Um... JELLO brand, I should think."
With that, Remus stood up and walked out of the room. Sirius heard the front door slam shortly thereafter. He finished Remus' tea for him ("So it won't get cold,") and washed out the cup ("So he won't have to do the dishes,") and put it away in the cupboard ("So he won't have to... well, put it away,). He had just finished sweeping the floor and was reading the A&E when the front door slammed again and an irritated and windblown Remus strode into the kitchen. Sirius' jaw dropped at the sight.
His bestest best friend was carrying about a ton of JELLO chocolate pudding cups.
"The cashier was nice enough to put them in a box for me," said Remus icily as he plonked the cardboard container onto the kitchen table. It wobbled precariously under the weight.
Sirius launched himself onto his friend, pulling him into a tight, "brotherly" hug. "I love you Moony! You brought me pud~ding!" With that he let go of his now beet-red friend and set into the first container of pudding with considerable gung-ho. Remus sat down to read his paper again, and when, in the middle of the A&E, he reached for his tea, he found instead that he had grabbed a stray pudding cup and was trying to drink the syrupy substance. He gagged and accidentally dropped it, an unsightly brown mess now blocking the picture of some American singer who was pissed at the world.
"Padfoot!" he yelled, finally setting down his paper, intent on chastizing his friend.
But instead, his rebuke died in his throat. Sirius was now surrounded by little (empty) plastic cups, and was happily devouring yet another. His face was smeared with chocolate, and his eyes were shut in delight. At the sound of his moniker, however, he stopped, spoon in mouth, and glanced up.
"Wha ith ih Wooyey(2)?" he asked around the spoon.
Remus however, did not reply, opting instead to stand and retreat to his bedroom on the second floor.
Sirius just shrugged and returned to stuffing his face. "Wonder what's eating him?"
~
(1) See "Please Tear..."
(2) What is it Moony?
FIN
Forest Glenny
13 Feb 04
A/N: Dearie me, that was weird. Ah, but I laughed whilst writing it. This fic is happily dedicated to Don Raphiel, who said to write more useless stuff like this. (In reference to Please Tear Along Dotted Line) :) What an elegant way to put it. And, thanks to him, I have written my first fanfic in about eight months. Please review!