In the Fall of 1993, in the real show, Roger Thorpe starts to secretly work for Alan Spaulding, to get Spaulding Enterprises away from Alexandra Spaulding. Alexandra thinks that he is actually helping her, so when she finds out that he duper her, she wants revenge. She lures him in her bedroom under false pretenses so that Holly Lindsey, his lover, finds them in bed together. This is my version of what could have happened after that night.
The lights were out at the Springfield journal, except for a single one in Holly's office.
« If you know what's good for you, you get out of here right now! » said Holly in a low voice.
« What is the matter with you? What did Roger do this time? » replied Fletcher, taunting her from the door.
Holly lept from her desk and grabbed him hard by his shirt collar. « I hate you! I hate all of you! Do you hear me? » she yelled as she yanked him towards her.
They stared at each other for several seconds. It crossed Holly's mind that if she just leaned in a little bit closer she could kiss him. From the way he stared at her mouth, she sensed that he was thinking the exact same thing.
After what seemed like a really long time, she let go of him and they both took a step back.
« I'd better go », she said as she grabbed her coat and quickly exited her office. Fletcher did nothing to stop her.
When she finally stopped to catch her breath in the parking lot, she looked back to the lone light from her office. « What was that? » she mumbled under her breath. Then she got into her car and headed home.
She wondered if Roger would be there when she arrived, waiting for her. Would he pretend like nothing happened after she saw him leaving Alexandra's room with her own eyes? How would she react to that? Visions of Roger, lying in a pool of blood fleeted through her mind. The lying, cheating, son of a bitch. He was going to pay for this.
She hesitated between confronting him and tricking him into admitting the truth. A part of her wanted to see how far he would entangle himself into his lies.
She took the turn in her driveway a little too fast and slammed the breaks. His car was there. Good.
He was sitting in front of the fire when she got in. When he saw her he jumped to his feet. "Holly, where were you? I've been worried sick all night waiting for you!"
She looked at him with all the contempt she could muster. She knew she would blurt it all out, there was no holding back. "You SNAKE!"
Roger took a step back, staggering as if she had just punched him.
"Holly…?"
"Don't Holly me, asshole. To think that I actually believe you had changed!" She paced across the room, looking for something to throw at him.
Roger's mind was racing. It was obvious that she had had wind of what had been going on with Alexandra, but how much did she know? Did she know about the kiss?
"Holly, please, talk to me. What is it?" he asked pleadingly.
Holly came to a halt and slowly turned toward him, clutching at the couch.
"I just had a charming little chat…with Alexandra Spaulding", she said in a low voice.
Roger's heart sank. "What did she tell you?" he asked, swallowing hard.
"She merely confirmed that you two had another roll in the hay, for old time's sake. But that it was all a drunken mistake and that you were both very, very SORRY," Holly screamed and threw her purse at him.
He took a step forward but was stopped in his tracks by her vicious look. "She's lying. I didn't sleep with her, I swear to God, Holly!"
Holly raised her hand to slap him when her eyes rested on the engagement ring sitting on the table. Then suddenly all the fight went out of her and she started crying. "I saw you leave her room. Why did you do this to me Roger? How could you?"
"I know how it looks but nothing happened. I can explain everything."
"I don't want to hear it. I want you to shut it and I want you to leave right now, or I swear Roger, I am going to rip your heart out of your chest."
"I am not leaving you like this. You have to hear me out!"
Holly walked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, which she pointed at her throat. "Leave".
Roger felt sick to his stomach, his heart pounding in his chest. "Holly…"his voice broke and trailed off.
When he saw her press the knife against her skin and a drop of blood forming on the tip of the blade, he turned away and stumbled out of the house.
His first impulse was to rush back to Alexandra's and get her to confess to Holly that they did not sleep together. But he did not trust himself not to hurt her if he came within punching distance of her. Besides, the more pressing thing was to get someone to watch over Holly, and that someone was Blake.
She knew something was wrong as soon as she opened the door. Her father always looked so in control, and his haggard look scared her. She skipped the hellos. "What's wrong Dad? Where is Mom?" she said, looking behind him.
He pushed passed her and dropped on the couch. "Are you alone?" he asked, hoping she was. Ross was out to get some food, but would be back in a couple of minutes. Roger blurted out the whole story as fast as he could: the plot with Alan to get Spaulding back, the fact that he had to get back into Alexandra's good graces to do that, Holly's disapproval and finally, the events of the last hours.
He knew he could always count on Blake to root for Holly and him, so he was shocked to see disapproval in her eyes. "Chrissy, I didn't sleep with her, you have to believe me."
"Oh, I believe you". Her tone was cold. "But Dad, how could let it go this far? You were in her bed, damn it. And for what? Is a job at Spaulding really worth risking losing Mom?"
He started pacing in front of her. "Of course not, I see that now. I just thought…I just thought I could have it all. But if I have to choose, there is no question that it's Holly that I want. I can't leave without her, Blake, and now she won't speak to me. She thinks I betrayed her."
Blake sighed. "Well you kinda did, even if you were faithful." She grabbed her keys and headed for the door. "You know, I used to think that the best think for you two would be to be together, besides what anybody else said. Now I don't know anymore. I don't think you're good for her."
She opened the door and added without looking back. "I'm going to see her. I don't know what I'll tell her. If I were you I'd leave before Ross comes back."
She found Holly collapsed on the living room floor. Fearing the worst, she rushed to her side, only to find that her mother had cried herself to sleep.
She woke her up gently. She could see in her face the exact moment when she remembered what had just happened. Holly stood up with a groan. "I guess you father sent you. If you came here to plea for him, you can leave."
"No Mom, I didn't come to defend him. He told me what happened and I thought I should come and take care of you…if you'll let me."
On hearing these words, Holly started tearing up again. Wiping her tears ragingly, she walked to her bedroom, shedding her dress on the way, and crawled into bed. "So much for happily ever fucking after."
"Mom, it's ok to cry. He broke your heart!"
"If I start crying, I may never stop." She choked on the last words. "He broke my heart and he broke me, Blake. I am in pieces."
Blake sat on the foot of the bed. "For what it's worth, and I don't say this to excuse him, but I don't think that he slept with Alexandra. It's just too…far fetched. He hates her."
"That may be, but he is in love with Spaulding Enterprises. He loves it enough to do anything to get it, even sleeping with that bitch. He certainly loves it more than he loves me. "
"And do that to you? I don't think so Mom. In any case, he told me he was going to prove to you that it was all a big scam. But even so…"
"Even so…?"
Blake started hesitantly. "Even if he didn't sleep with her, it doesn't change the fact that he hurt you. And you're right about Spaulding, not that he loves it more than he loves you, but he's obsessed by with it. His ambition gets in the way of everything that is good in his life."
She reached for her mother's hand. "All those times you told me about how Dad was wrong for you, I never knew what you meant. Now I know. If you choose to walk away, I'll be with you every step of the way."
For several days, Holly could not find the will to get out of bed. Waves of despair crashed over her, leaving her feverish. She could barely sleep, could not eat at all and only drank when Blake threatened to call an ambulance or Ed.
She had been hurt by Roger before, countless times and arguably in worse ways than this. But all those times she more or less saw it coming. He used to be so angry and self-destructive. But this was different. She thought they were happy. The element of surprise doubled the pain. She felt hurt and she felt like a fool and she was ashamed at having believed it could actually work between them.
In all those hours she spent lying in bed, she had time to figure out that he was probably telling the truth about not sleeping with Alex. It didn't matter. The real betrayal laid somewhere else, in the fact that he almost let it happened, just to get a piece of a stupid company. She realized that she wasn't enough for him. She was just another thing he wanted with all his might, until he got it. He was the love of her life and he didn't love her enough. That thought made her want to stay in bed forever.
Blake packed a few things and moved in with her for a while. Both of them thought of Roger but neither spoke his name. Holly wondered where he was, and why he didn't try to see her. It wasn't like him to give up so easily. She was afraid of seeing him but longed for it at the same time. When she finally worked up the nerve to ask Blake where he was, the latter had to admit that she didn't know. He was nowhere to be found, although she hadn't tried very hard to find him.
A week after New Year's Eve, an afternoon when Blake was out to the market, Holly heard a tap at the door. Her heart pounding, she put on a dressing gown and got out of bed. She stopped at her bedroom door. Did she really want to see Roger, or anyone? But curiosity got the best of her and she walked to the front door. She realized with a mix and relief and disappointment that it was Fletcher.
She turned away from the door and walked back to living room, leaving the door opened. He took it as an invitation to come in.
"So…you haven't being at work since I last saw you there. Are you sick or something?"
Holly chose the sarcastic route as usual. "What is it Fletcher, you were worried the journal was going to fall apart without me?"
Fletcher replied in the same way. "I called several times, you never answered. I thought it was rather inconsiderate of you, so much so that I decided to come and tell it to your face."
His face grew earnest. "That, and I got worried about you. You didn't looked so well the last time I saw you. Are you ok?"
"Do I look ok?"
Fletcher took the time to examine her face. She looked beautiful, as always, but also exhausted, and thinner than before, which was not a good thing for her. She also looked sad and defiant at the same time.
"You were right. All of you. Roger is an asshole. He cheated on me and now he's gone. But I guess you already knew that."
"I am sorry you're hurting."
"Save it." She started to tear up, as always when someone tried to console her.
"I mean it Holly. Is there anything I can do?"
"Well, you can tell that bitch Alexandra Spaulding that she'll be sorry she ever crossed me."
Fletcher took a step back. "What do you mean?"
She saw he was hurt and thought about dropping it but couldn't. "They slept together."
His ear rang with the sound of her last sentence. It couldn't be true, not after everything Alex had told him during the months they were together. "I don't believe it."
"She told me so herself."
"That doesn't make it true."
He turned around and walked to the door. "I am going to get to the bottom of this."
"Do want you want, but for your own sake. Personally I just don't want to hear about it anymore."
He left without a word. As he got into his car, he reflected that he didn't really want to know either and didn't really care. He just wanted Holly to lose that haunted look. And that thought surprised him, but he chose not to dwell on it.