Empathy
PG-13
Oishi
x Shishido / other pairings.
Angst / romance.
808 words.
This one was written from Oishi's POV, through a letter he's doing for Eiji.The main pairing is not such thing...and, well, maybe it's just angst. Translation
It has been three days since I received your letter. My sister kept it for me.
She said you sent it to the apartment in which you and I once lived and that she put it away in her drawer for some weeks, wondering if it was right to give it to me. This morning, at last, after so many times of seeing your words between my books I decided to answer.
I don't know if
I'm doing right or if everyone else has reason.
Do you remember
of Momoshiro? He was our kohai in Seigaku… and now he's my best
friend. We casually met at the university where I entered as teacher
and it was like if the time hadn't passed, like if that day I
rejected being his boyfriend was just a dream.
I explained to
him that at that time you and me were yet a couple…and that we were
happy.
I told him what happened, and then yesterday I told him
about your letter. It didn't surprised me that, as consequence he
said I shouldn't respond because the only thing you wanted was give
me pain.
Was he right?
Maybe, I'm aware of it. But the
truth is that things are not like they were before, Eiji.
You say
you made a mistake by breaking up with me but you cannot turn time
back.
And if I can be serious and honest with you, things are much
better now, between the both of us. Even If it sounds weird, when you
left the apartment I got to know you even more.
I understood why you weren't happy with me, and why the time we spent together was never enough. Slowly, I got to know why you loved him instead of me. Maybe we had good days but soon our relationship turned into routine, and the lack of passion destroyed us. We stopped desiring each other
I know it. You were in calm by my side but with your friend you found the real happiness and love.
That's what I learnt when, being absorbed by my job and trying to get fun with our old good friends; I met Shishido Ryou once again. Thanks to his sometimes rough sincerity and compression, along with his advice, I started to feel empathy for you…and specially to your love for him.
Please tell me… What did you feel the first time you made love with Syusuke?
I think I can relate each moment,
every feeling and thought you had during your infidelity.
Because
at my first night with Ryou I imagined that you and me were still
boyfriends. I thought I could leave his house and walk to our old
apartment…to find you there.
In the meanwhile, I lost myself in a fragile situation, with the idea that my little adventure wouldn't last. I over-worried and yet enjoyed every second, each one of our kisses and caresses. I got to believe his existence was the only important. I had doubts about my love for you, just as you had them at that time.
When I penetrated him I knew I could forget the past. Did it happen to you? Sure it did.
I was surrounded by his heat… and amazed by the way he was smiling and moaning with a sarcastic yet sweet expression. I felt consumed by the sensations, with his hips balancing against me in such a delicious torture, and his strong, lovely embrace around me. Ryou was everything…and he still is.
You thought you loved Syusuke as
soon as his cum touched your body… didn't you?
I fell in love
with "Shishido-san" at that very last moment, when the orgasm
took us.
And even now, after this year of being together, I still
anxiously look for his skin every night.
I understand you, Eiji,
because I love Ryou just as you believed you loved Syusuke.
And that feeling is worth everything we passed through.
I guess
you regret your letter now after so many weeks of waiting, don't
you?
And you're mad while reading this. I'm aware of it
because I know you more than ever.
Don't worry.
Stop
blaming you… and stop saying you still have feelings for me. I
promise I'm ok. Never better, actually, with the company of Ryou,
my friends and family
Don't be sorry anymore. I already forgave you…and now the only thing I've for you is this deep empathy.
Please forgive I cannot accept you back… and that I won't put my address down on this paper. I don't want to give you pain nor make you curios. It's better this way, Eiji.
I've to go now. Ryou said he wouldn't be jealous but he won't stop reading.
Take care and thanks for writing.
If you get to
see Syusuke again, tell him I say hello.
-Oishi Syuichirou.