Say goodbye

PG-15

Oishi/Kawamura

Angst & romance

Originally written on spanish for Takashi's birthday.

Maybe Syuichirou was allowing himself to desire to the other boy just because they were so alike. He nourished the feeling; he actually loved the illusion reflected on Takashi's look even if it was just for a brief moment. He took his lover in a tight embrace, giving him a sweet expression. Then he kissed him, caressing his skin so soft as if he could actually rip it, taking him to the bed after checking the door was closed.

Lying together, Oishi was forcing himself to remain silent, taking the clothes off and still giving little sweet kisses that could make both forget. He gave in to the pleasure, pretending to love the skin under his fingers but actually adoring his friend. He shivered with the touches of Takashi, imitating him and biting his lips.

But even so, the uneasiness didn't leave him alone; it was only getting deeper on his conscience just like every afternoon, driving him crazy.

Then Oishi had to close his eyes, pressing inside Kawamura, loving him as friend but not as lover. The young man blamed himself, containing the tears back and trying to smile, making love and being happy if he heard his name coming from Takashi's lips, along with the moaning and pleads in soft voice.

That afternoon, in that very moment, was similar to the scene of all days.

Oishi tried to fool himself, playing to love. He whispered kind words and, in that way, he left himself heartbroken again.

-Happy birthday- he said just before regretting the sentence.

"Why he would be happy?" was his thought, pulling apart and standing up. He sat down at the young's side, confused. –Forgive me… I shouldn't say that. I don't know why… I thought this time could be different…- Takashi took his arm, with the breathing still quite broken.

-It's ok… eventually… you'll get to love me back- the hope never dies.

-No, Taka-san…- the voice was shaking. -…I cannot do this anymore. You know it…- but the other boy was still pulling his body, with no patience, trying to not listen to. –It's enough- convinced, Oishi turned to see his partner. –You know I love him, and… I mean, even if I like this… us… I cannot stop thinking on him. I've to try- with that intention he stood up and Kawamura was about to stop him before thinking about it twice and realize he was right. He only watched the naked body of his lover and one of his best friends, before it disappeared under the clothes.

There was nothing but anxiety and sadness. It was the goodbye.

Even if they would see each other at the University, the very day after, even if they would talk again… it wasn't the same. If the young man that Oishi was in love with loved him back, Takashi couldn't do more. And he knew that that'd happen with such a confidence that he started to cry.

When the brunette was already at the door, his friend stopped him with a voice that was gentle but sad, without hope.

-If things don't work with Momo… you know I'll be waiting for you, don't you?- he gave a last sincere smile, forcing himself to be naïve and have faith, but when Oishi nodded and said goodbye, leaving the room, Takashi got back to the bed and his tears fell again.

Oishi wouldn't come back.