Giving Thanks
AN: This is a short story inspired by reading one of Liv Wilder's works (In Some Corner) . . . a very nice piece that got me thinking. This story occurs the day after Kate shows up at Rick's loft at the conclusion of Always: Season 4 finale.
DISCLAIMER: None of these characters are mine, but they are memorable. Thank you Mr. Marlowe.
Rick Castle sits at the table near the rear of the restaurant. Normally not a 'meat and potato' guy, Castle has chosen this restaurant because of their choice steaks and wines. Usually Castle would opt for a great Italian dish or some sea-food. He stays away from Tex-Mex unless he is down Texas way – he's learned that there is Mexican food, and then there is Tex-Mex, and once you've had the latter, well . . . there is a reason the state is in the name of the food category.
This afternoon, however, is a special day with a special person. As he waits, Castle reflects on the past year. It's been a doozy. The love of his life gets shot, then she lies to him. Not a little lie, either – oh no – they don't do 'little', he and Beckett. To make matters worse, he harbored a secret from her. A big secret, about the one thing that has driven her for over a decade. Add to that their weekly time together is spent finding dead people and then searching for their killers. Not to be outdone, his baby girl – no longer a baby girl – graduated from high school, gives a killer (no pun intended) speech far beyond her 18 years, and is headed off to college. Yeah, she'll still be local, but she won't be there . . . in the loft. Yeah, it's been quite a year.
He runs his hands through his thick hair as all of these thoughts rush back to him, and then he cannot help but think back to the last four years. Meeting Beckett changed things – hell, it changed everything. She changed everything. And it wasn't easy. He smiles, wondering if a good thing is ever easy. So lost in thought is he that he doesn't even notice the tall, black man who strides to the table, an easy smile on his face. The man recognizes Castle immediately.
"Mr. Castle", he states with a hand outstretched in greeting.
"Dr. Burke", Castle counters, standing to shake his hand probably a bit too vigorously. Typical Castle.
"It's Carter to my friends", the doctor comments.
"It's Rick to mine. Are we friends already", Castle asks with his usual smirk.
"You are a friend of a friend, shall we say," Dr. Burke answers amiably.
"I suppose I am," laughs Castle, as both men take a seat at the table.
Before they can say anything else, a waitress appears, seemingly out of nowhere. Castle already has a glass of ice water on the table, so she asks his guest for his drink order. Both men also take the time to order steaks with trimmings. After asking for ice water with a lime, Dr. Burke turns back to Castle, a small smile still stuck on his face.
"Either you're the happiest guy I've ever met, or you know something I don't know – and I am inclined to strongly consider the latter as the more likely choice", says Castle.
"Neither – I'm just glad to meet the man behind the mystery, so to speak. Not all of the stories I am privy to have happy endings, as you might surmise", says the good doctor, affably.
Castle nods appreciatively. He can understand that. He knows from experience that life can be exhilarating, and it can be equally deflating. Sometimes we have some control over those experiences, while other times . . .
It's been less than 24 hours since Castle's life was turned upside down, and then right-side up. Less than 24 hours since he was positive he had lost Beckett forever – by his own choice – only to have her show up at his doorstep, dripping wet from rain, tears, and more than a few fears. Less than 24 hours since he found himself living out what started as a fantasy, then grew legs and matured into a dream; a dream that he was absolutely certain he had lost forever. Less than 24 hours since he awoke, with her legs tangled with his, her long dark hair caressing his pillows, her hand along his thighs. Less than 24 hours since he made – and re-made – love with his love. He owes a few thank you's right now. He's spent the entire night and morning thanking her, thanking God. Now there's one more person to thank.
"It's why I asked you to meet me here for lunch, Dr. Burke", Castle continues. "I seem to be deeply, deeply in your debt. I appreciate you coming on such short notice."
"Well, you said it was about Ka . . . Detective Beckett, and you said it was great news. I don't get a lot of that, so – believe me – this was a fairly easy one."
Both men chuckle, before Castle continues. He explains how Kate came to his loft last night. He explains how she almost died, chasing her mother's killers literally to the rooftops of the city. He recounts how she walked through his door straight into his chest, saying simply that she wanted him and only him – nothing else.
As Castle describes the evening – clearly discreetly leaving out intimate details, but clearly stating that intimacy was shared – Dr. Burke continues to smile that small little smile, nodding occasionally, but ever quiet, allowing Castle to let it flow. Yes, he's off-duty, but he recognizes when some positive venting is necessary, and it is going to be a free, delicious meal.
Castle begins to wrap up his recounting of the last evening by sharing breakfast small-talk in the morning before his mother made what he should have anticipated as her typical interruption. The two men chuckle as Castle describes a scene where Beckett – lovely locks and all – went flying over the sofa as Martha waltzed in. But the small-talk before Martha's intrusion is the cause for this lunch.
"She told me that none of this would have happened if not for you, Dr. Burke." Yeah, he told him to call him Carter, but the man didn't go to school for a decade and then listen and coax the love of my life back to emotional well-being simply to be referred to as "Carter". The title was well-earned and would be well-utilized this afternoon.
"I know you can't tell me anything you have discussed with her, and she's already told me a lot. How much 'a lot' is, I really don't know, and don't care. But I know she was in a dark place, a place where she refused to include me. And she was very clear that conversations with you helped pull her out of that darkness, and encouraged her to include in a much bigger manner."
His eyes are glistening now. He doesn't want to turn this into some kind of bonding moment, but again, the events of the past 24 hours are far too recent, far too new, far too embedded in his current consciousness. He's allowed these emotions.
He'd almost lost her.
She'd almost died.
He'd told her he was done.
That would have been the last thing she heard from him.
It would have been the last thing he'd said to her.
She would have died – but he would have had to have lived with his final words to her.
The waitress returns, just in time, with hot plates beckoning. As the two men begin cutting into their steaks, Dr. Burke begins to speak, but Castle cuts him off.
"I just wanted to say to you – in person – thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You see a lot of people, I am sure. You say a lot of words to these people. Just know that the words you said to Kate stuck. It took far longer than I would have liked, but your words found a way past the stone walls she erected. I don't know how, and I don't care. I'm just grateful, doctor."
Dr. Burke takes a sip of water, and simply stares at Castle for a few seconds. In those seconds, Castle feels like he is no longer in the restaurant, but somewhere in the good doctor's office. And just as quickly, the moment is gone, with Dr. Burke's words reaching Castle's consciousness.
"Detective Beckett – like all of us – has her own personal journey. That she has finally opted to include you in that journey in a . . . let's say more intimate and inclusionary manner, is very satisfying. Some journeys are designed for us to traverse alone, but some journeys require a trusted and trustworthy companion. Figuring out which journey is which - and who that companion is – becomes the basis of utter joy or utter madness. I'm thrilled that our detective has finally chosen wisely."
"She would not have made this journey without you, doctor," Castle sighs.
"I would like to think she would have, Mr. Castle", Burke counters. "We all have those moments where clarity reigns over confusion. Kate found hers."
"True, but we are talking about over a decade of chasing windmills, chasing phantom killers, then erecting walls to hide behind. And all the while, you are being shot at, beaten, bombed, handcuffed for tiger food" –
"Excuse me", Dr. Burke interrupts with a laugh. "Tiger food?"
"Long story, for another time. I'll let her tell you, but let me just say that being handcuffed to a beautiful woman didn't quite unfold the way I would have written it", Castle laughs. "Anyway, Kate has had ample opportunities to break her mold, to do something different – and not even a bullet to the heart changed that. If anything, it caused her to fall even deeper. She told me your words were the light in the darkness that kept her grounded and walking forward. As an author, I know how powerful words can be. That I just don't have the words to thank you enough – well that irony is not lost on me."
The rest of the meal is spent with idle talk about Kate, the Yankees, the Knicks, Castle's beach house in the Hamptons, and the discovery that Dr. Burke had a family home a few miles away from Castle's getaway home. When Castle had taken care of the check, the two men rose and walked out of the restaurant. Standing on the sidewalk, with Dr. Burke ready to hail a cab, Castle grabs him by the shoulder as he waves to Kate Beckett, who has found her way to the restaurant front and is crossing the street coming towards the two men.
"I can't screw this up", Castle says quickly. "I may not get another shot at this, with her. This may be our one shot", he stated, eyes piercing into the doctor's gaze.
"That's the surest way to screw up, Mr. Castle. We're all human beings. We make mistakes. If you walk around on pins and needles with her, then you will start trying to decide what she can and cannot handle. From there, it's just a skip and a jump before you are withholding information – little things – and then you start outright lying. She doesn't need protection, Rick. She needs that trustworthy companion."
Castle notices the usage of his first name – for the first time that afternoon – and he accepts the doctors words and digests them deep in his head and his heart as Kate arrives and gives the doctor a long hug.
"I can do that. I can be that", he smiled.
"Then you two will be fine, Mr. Castle. The love you have for her – and the love she has for you – both are stronger than either of you realize. It will be enough."
The two men shake hands, and Castles free hand casually falls into Kate's.
"I owe you, doctor. Feel free to collect someday", he smiles, as he and Kate start walking away, down the street.
The doctor laughs, shouting, "Knicks floor tickets. I will call you. Taxi !"