Out Loud
May 2002
The Pine Valley Inn
"Come on David we both know you're still in love with her."
Anna paces the room.
Another call.
Another call from Dixie.
After all she had gone through to help him. To protect him. She even married him for God sakes and now her job was on the line. She shakes her head. No. Not this time. Now she knew. She knew that these 'feelings' or whatever they were didn't mean anything to him. It had been Dixie. Dixie all along.
"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" She asks, turning around.
He was being uncharacteristically quite. Uncharacteristically calm. He shakes his head, getting up from the loveseat.
"Should I? You're so gung-ho about expressing your opinion why should I stop you?"
She clenches her jaw in anger, his tone threatening to rip her in two. How dare he. How dare he patronize her. She tugs at the bottom of her blazer, straightening it.
"You're not saying anything because you know it's the truth." She replies, teeth still clenched.
David takes a few steps towards hers her, watching her eye him suspiciously.
"No." He states defiantly. "It's not."
She laughs harshly, moving past him and shaking her head.
"Yes it is. You should see it in your face the way you look at her." Anna turns. "You know what? It's better this way. At least now I know."
She is about to open the door when he stops her, pushing it closed and backing her into it. He whispers the words in her ear.
"I'm not going to stop caring about her Anna, nor am I going to pretend she doesn't matter to me."
"Well there you go then."
"But…" He says, shutting the door again as she has tried to open it. "What I feel for Dixie doesn't come close to what I feel for you."
She turns back around to face him, seeing the intense stare he gives her. His rigid stance and determined tone make her stop, wondering if he is being sincere. Her silence urges him to continue.
"You….you challenge me Anna. You believe in me. You've done nothing but protect me these last few months and I appreciate that."
"But….?" She inquires, waiting for more.
"No buts." He smiles, shaking his head. "It's the truth. You're honest with me. You tell me I'm being an ass when I'm being an ass."
She can't help but smirk, still leaning against the door.
"What I feel for you is real. When we kiss." He leans down, mere inches from her face, whispering to her. "When we make love…"
His hands find her waist, feeling the tension in her muscles. She works too hard and the stress is evident in her body, he thinks.
"I don't doubt you care for me David." She says, closing her eyes and turning from his embrace. She walks further to the middle of the room, his proximity getting to her. "But this isn't about me. It's about Dixie." She bites.
He shakes his head. She wasn't going to make this easy.
"It's only about Dixie because you're making it about her."
She feels the rage return at the implication that she was making more of something than it truly was.
"Oh!" She laughs harshly. "So it's my fault is that it?!"
David shakes his head, why was it always one foot forward, two steps back when it came to the two of them?
"That's not what I said!" He yells back, angry with himself for letting it get this far. "I don't love Dixie! I…."
He stops himself. Could he say it? Would she believe him if he did?
"I guess I got my answer." Anna nods, as he stops himself. She makes her way to the door again.
He stops her, placing his hands tentatively to her waist again. She tries to move out of his embrace but he only tightens his grip on her.
"I don't love Dixie." He repeats. He leans his head down, making sure her eyes are on his. "I love you."
She stops trying to resist him, dropping her arms down to her sides, her gaze never leaving his. For one of the very few times in her life she is actually speechless.
Her shocked expression elicits a small smile from his lips.
"I love you Anna. I have for some time and that's why I couldn't let you leave here thinking I was still hung up on Dixie." He pulls her closer. "I'm not. How could I be? When I'm completely in love with my wife." He murmurs softly.
She lets herself smile at him, feeling a sense of joy course through her. He told her he loves her and by the look in his eyes she knew that he meant it. It was real and she knew what it took for him to admit it. The anger seems to wash away and she looks up at him with new eyes.
"Well that's not the reaction I was expecting, but I'll take it." He shrugs with another smile, not expecting the silence that followed his omission.
She shakes her head as if coming out of a daze. "No, no…I." She smiles. "I just didn't think that you'd…."
"Admit it?" He asks with a grin. "Neither did I." He hears her softly laugh at him and the sound makes his heart swell with happiness. "But it's true Anna. I do. I love you."
It's amazing how easy the words are to say. To hear come out of his mouth. He wants to tell her over and over now, until he loses his voice. He loves her.
"I love you too."
He tilts his head back in surprise, giving her a quizzical stare. She is amused by his expression as she brings a hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
"In case you didn't hear me..." She smiles, whispering the words against his mouth. "I love you David."
He grins before crashing his mouth to hers, wrapping his arms tightly around her.
She sighs as his mouth finds hers. One minute they were fighting and the next minute they were admitting they loved each other. She smiles. That was them. When they fought, they fought like cats and dogs, but when they loved, they loved with everything they had.
They kiss with urgency, David finding the soft spot along her neck next, feeling her tilt her head back to allow him better access.
"I'm sorry I started that fight earlier I didn't…." He moves up to kiss her again, making her stop. He doesn't want to talk about the fight. Or about Dixie. He didn't want to talk period.
"It was wrong of me to assume you still loved her. "She continues between kisses." And it makes perfect sense that you would care about her well being. You loved her once."
"Once." He smiles. "But not anymore." He takes both her hands, kissing the tops of them. "I know Dixie is a sore subject for you and I can understand why you assumed I still loved her. I haven't been very vocal when it comes to my feelings for you and I'm sorry. You deserve more than that Anna. Much more."
She smiles. She didn't need much. Just him.
"I never doubted that you cared for me and I don't need you to profess your undying love for me or anything, but the thought of her coming in between us…"
"Shhh." He places a finger to her lips. "That's never going to happen Anna. I love you. You're my wife and no one could ever take that place. Not Dixie. Not anyone."
She feels him pull her even closer, his arms wrapping around her. The warmth from his body almost too much to take in.
"It feels good saying it." He smiles, whispering into her ear.
She nods, her smile beaming back up at him.
"When?" She asks, questioning him.
"When you fought like hell to prove I was innocent." He replies back honestly. "You were willing to put yourself, your reputation, and your job on the line for me. No one has ever sacrificed that much for me and I realized that I could trust you. That I 'did' trust you and…" He smiles, kissing her cheek. "That I had fallen in love with you."
She smiles, looking down.
"I trust you with my life Anna. With everything…"
She looks back up, her arms linked around his neck.
"Our wedding." She whispers, noticing him give her a questioningly look. "I fell in love with you at our wedding."
He eyes at her fondly, touched that she had returned the same sentiment.
"Well we might have done things a little backwards..." He quips. "But the important thing is that we got here."
She brings her hands up to his face, her forehead resting along his.
"We got here." She murmurs poignantly, repeating his words. "We got here."
That was all either of them needed before passion ignited between the both of them.
Afterwards, as they lie entangled with one another he haphazardly remembers them, peeling the other's clothing away, her body already on the bed as he pulled her heels from her feet. Nothing mattered after that, not the fight, not Dixie, not even where they went from this moment on. They would figure it out…together. The night had been nothing short of perfect, and as the sun rose slightly from the window he felt his thoughts become hazier as sleep readied to claim him.
"What are you thinking?" She whispers from under his chin. His eyes open again.
"I'm thinking we're going to need another place to live, one that isn't a hotel room."
She laughs, agreeing with him, suggesting that they look in the paper the next morning for something a bit more appropriate for a married couple.
::A mortgage, a backyard, maybe even a family some day.:: She thought in the back of her mind, feeling his body relax against her into sleep.
::It doesn't matter:: She yawned. ::As long as he's here with me.::