What's this? Kay-Gryffin's got a new multichapter fic she's writing AT THE SAME TIME AS ANOTHER FIC? What in the world?
Well, read it and weep, folks, because it is a new multichapter fic that I'm writing at the same time as another fic. Writing stories is really tough, and while I love working on We Rise Above- believe me, I do- I sometimes need a break. This story seems to be that break. I've got plans to finish, and I will do my best to finish this story alongside my other.
So, what can I say about this... sad. It's definitely a sad story. I mean I put these characters through a depression, and I'm curious to see if my readers (if there are any) can figure out the reasons for why they're depressed.
Pairings... I'll make them up as I go along, but the main characters are Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru, and, of course, Hinata. Obviously, because I'm sick, Sasuke's pairing is predetermined (Sasu/Kiba, of course) so they're my primary.
This is, like most of my fics, unbeta'd and raw. Barely any editing or prethought came before I uploaded. I'm just doing what feels right, and this feels so right. I have a good feeling about this. Fingers crossed :)
Well, enjoy this first chapter (which is like a prologue, it just tells you the background). I don't own Naruto, obviously.
Warning: This is a predominately yaoi fic (romance later) with cursing, drug use, mentions of rape, sexual abuse, general violence, and a lot of other things because I am quasi-fucked up... and I still call this a story about family. Let it suffice to say that this is not a story you should read to your five-year-old.
ENJOY!
NOTE: Hi. Edits are being added to the story. Trying to fix it up because now, two years after its initial conception, some of the original points are beginning to bother me.
Date: 7/24/2015
The Ripple Effect
CHAPTER ONE
Never Forget, and Always Remember
. . . . . . . .
"Lay your feelings bare,
Along with the huge love you feel:
The tears you cry will change your destiny.
Let your heartbeat echo through the dark.
We're sure to meet,
At the flag of that same pain."
Cold-hearted, is the devil's mistress Death.
She chooses not those most deserving of it, but chooses who She may. She does not care about whom She picks to take, does not know the challenges they managed to surpass and conquer; She just takes them, without care to the damage She does to the people closest to them. Death is the worst evil in this world, to all things that are alive, because She reminds them of the truth: all people are made to die one day. Death is the evillest truth of life:
Nothing can stay.
Nothing is ever the same.
The ripples that we may cause in this world one day have to die. The ripples can affect all they want, but the key to them, with Death, is identifying the proverbial rock that caused them. If we can do that, then the people whom Death steals from us live forever—within memories and our dreams. Dreams and memories last forever—they transform, and they drift from person to person and imprint themselves in the Earth.
They are infinite.
Infinite.
The day of Itachi Uchiha's funeral was the saddest day that Fugaku had ever experienced in his life. He stood over the pale marble headstone, his onyx eyes downcast and empty, nearly completely devoid of life or vigor. The rain fell onto the nape of his neck, pressing his overlong hair onto the back of his neck. He'd long since put down the umbrella he'd been holding for the whole of the burial, and he really couldn't find it in him to pick it back up. If he died of pneumonia, he wouldn't exactly be depressed about it.
He could remember clearly the day that Itachi was born. It was the first and last time that he saw a baby straight out of a woman—he decided that blue, alien-like, and screaming was not something he was overly fond of seeing, even if it were his child. When he saw him clean and fed, he decided that he liked his second-time opinion of his son rather than the first one, which earned him a smack outside the head from Mikoto, and another one from her best friend and his son's godmother, Kushina Uzumaki. Her fiancé, Minato Namikaze, decided it would be best to stay out of this one, and simply listened to Fugaku's whispered advice to not say yes to the doctor when asked to cut the umbilical cord.
The rest was almost dreamlike—Itachi began to grow up. He was an intelligent child, more intelligent than most. He was always on the shorter side, and would rather read a book than start a conversation with children his age, but had no problem talking with younger kids. It became blatant as he got older and older that he just had a gift for being good with young children. He always knew exactly what to say, which made him something akin to Fugaku's assistant when his second child, Sasuke, came around. Sasuke was nothing like Itachi had been—he was loud, attention-grabbing, and, when he got older, slightly obnoxious to people he didn't know. Luckily, Itachi was there to keep the younger Uchiha out of trouble, especially when Mikoto, their beautiful Mikoto, died in a car accident when Sasuke was eight.
Itachi had been only thirteen, and should've been out enjoying himself, but he decided to help his father with his younger brother instead, staying home and allowing Fugaku to relax as he entertained Sasuke, who had really taken his mother's death to heart. Sasuke had adored his mother—they were exceptionally close, even closer than he'd been to Itachi in those days—and had refused to have human contact for weeks after she died. Itachi had forced him into making friends, into living a life, while his own social life took an extreme dip. He had been left with only a few friends—an annoying blond pyromaniac, an extremely morbid redheaded puppeteer, a silver-haired vulgar little God-freak. If Itachi was any other person, his choice of friends honestly would've worried Fugaku, especially since the silver-haired one had quite the record considering he hadn't even turned sixteen yet, but it was Itachi, after all; he knew what he was doing. All his time was spent with Sasuke, and so he only had friends left who were willing to help them with him.
It was basically like Fugaku's home had become a halfway house for these wayward children; more often than not they were all passed out in his living room, bags of Cheetos and Doritos on the floor and couch, an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! playing on the TV, Sasuke cuddled into Itachi's lap. Never anyone else; especially not the blonde's. Ever since he almost "accidentally" set Sasuke's favorite stuffed dinosaur on fire, Sasuke made it clear that the only interaction he would have with the older boy was avoidance.
Fugaku never minded this as much as he thought he should've. He was just glad to see that his son had friends.
This went on for a couple of years. He was more than happy to see Sasuke amass his own set of friends, thanks to Itachi's efforts: Minato and Kushina's only son, Naruto; Hiashi Hyūga's oldest daughter, Hinata; Shikaku Nara's only son, Shikamaru (and, by default, Chōza Akimichi's son, Chōji). They oftentimes came over to Fugaku's house, mingling with the older kids that were Itachi's closest friends. Fugaku had worried that there would be issues, but much to his surprise, they seemed to get on just fine, especially when they watched Shikamaru kick Hidan's ass at strategic board games and caused his cursing to increase ten-fold, or when Deidara and Chōji had eating contests, or when basically any competition occurred in the group (the most popular were the staring contests between Sasori and Hinata; as there was almost never a clear winner and they could both go on forever).
For a long time, they were living in peace.
Sasuke was happy with his friends.
Itachi was happy because Sasuke was happy.
Fugaku was happy because his sons were happy.
He didn't want to think that any of their prosperity would end, and that seemed to be where he had made his mistake—the Uchiha, it seemed, were always slated for despair.
When Itachi was eighteen, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. It had been the worst night of Fugaku's life. Itachi had been feeling chest aches and pains for months, and had developed a horrible cough only a month before his diagnosis. It was when he coughed up blood for the first time, while at dinner, that Fugaku decided that it wasn't just some bad cough. He took him to the hospital, and not even a full twenty-four hours later, Itachi was diagnosed. For weeks, Fugaku blamed himself, because how could he not? He had disregarded a serious condition for just a bad cough, and not for a few days, but for an entire damn month! What kind of father was he that he could just do that to his own flesh and blood?
Itachi didn't blame him, however. Fugaku figured he was probably too busy just being scared.
Chemo had, obviously, been the first step for the Uchiha to take, his family right beside him as he suffered through the treatment. For a long time, Itachi was completely bald, which he was unashamed of—in fact, he even convinced Sasuke that it was a completely freeing experience, a fact the younger Uchiha refuted after he shaved his own head. He grew weaker as it wore on, less independent than he was used to. There were some days when Itachi lacked the strength to even get to the bathroom on his own, and he had to be helped. A lesser person would've been humiliated, but Itachi took in in stride. He even joked about it.
"Haha, Dad," he'd say, chuckling as he watched his knees quiver in that tell-tale sign that they were going to give up on him, "Looks like I left my energy at the hospital. Do you think we can go get it back?"
Itachi put on a brave face, but they all knew that he was scared. So totally and completely scared. Nobody wants to know that they have something that's only purpose is to kill, especially at such a young age. But the thing about Itachi was that, despite losing virtually all of his independence, he didn't want people worrying about him. It was, in fact, his worst nightmare. For years, he'd been the strength that held up his brother, supported his father. He'd grown up considerably in that time, but in a way, he'd regressed. He lacked the feeling of self-importance, Fugaku had realized, as well as self-value. He hated to see people waste time asking him for what he wanted; hated to see people waste energy to see what he needed. He disliked being fussed over, and despised being treated like porcelain. He'd never said it, though. Of course, he never had to. Fugaku could see it in his eyes every time he needed help into the bathroom, every time Sasuke worried about making him his favorite meal, and even every time his friends would would question if he was okay.
Fugaku hated himself just a little bit more every time he saw that look in his son. After all, he'd done it to him. He'd been weak, weak enough to force a child, a child, into becoming a nurturer. Itachi had to put aside his own feelings from the very moment Mikoto died to keep their family from collapsing under their feet, and he'd been pushing aside those feelings ever since. Things like selfishness, annoyance, envy, jealousy; none of those had been allowed to even exist inside his soul, and that was the part that people often forget: sometimes, jealousy is okay. Sometimes, envy is acceptable. Annoyance, sometimes required. And selfishness? It was a necessity. People considered those things vices, but to Fugaku, it simply meant being a normal teenager, a normal person. Fugaku felt selfish all the time, especially when it came to his children, and that was okay. And he wanted to teach Itachi that, but it seemed that the universe was quite content with fucking up Fugaku's grand parenting ideas.
Six months into chemo, a few weeks after Itachi's nineteenth birthday, which had been the first in a while to be celebrated in an actual event rather than quiet anonymity, they were told that the chemotherapy wasn't working. The cancer had progressed too far. Itachi was too far gone. That hadn't even been the worst of the news. The worst of it had been when Itachi had revealed that they'd known for two whole months.
Two goddamn, motherfucking months of the precious time Itachi had left, wasted in a hospital, because, in a classic Itachi move;
"I didn't want you guys to worry."
It had caused Sasuke to scream and shout at them, angry that they couldn't do anything to save his older brother, that they had allowed Itachi to keep trying even though he'd known, known full damn well that it'd been pointless. Itachi and his father had to physically remove the fourteen-year-old from the hospital, Itachi's lips set tight, and his body quivering with the force he had put in to stop himself from crying.
Because even at that horrible moment, Itachi hadn't wanted to cause a damn worry.
He was given only two years—estimated maximum—to live.
He held out for three and a half. Itachi was a fighter, but it was painful to watch him slowly succumb to the cancer more and more, to watch him slowly crumble apart. He had gained back enough of his strength to just lose it all again, but even more slowly this time, and in so many more things. When he was twenty, he was able to at least walk around the block a couple of times. Now, Itachi was getting winded just walking to the goddamn kitchen. He began to sleep more, eat less, but not out of choice—his body couldn't handle many food anymore, and it left him lacking in the way of stamina. Itachi had moved into the hospital for the last six months, and was visited every day by his family and his friends, who had all become his family, every single one of them, from the cussing Hidan to the quiet princess Hinata. A couple of times, all the Uchiha boys' friends—Sasuke's friends and Itachi's friends—fell asleep in his hospital suite, Sasuke curled up on his side beside his older brother, his hands clutching his tightly, as if that would stop him from dying.
Thankfully, it wasn't like that Itachi died, holding onto Sasuke's hand. Unfortunately, Itachi had died, on a bright and sunny Tuesday morning in the company of Naruto, who was also dealing with the still-fresh loss of his mother at the same time. Naruto had been in the hospital all day long, and he was checking in on Itachi. He had passed while speaking to him. What he said to Naruto, neither Fugaku nor Sasuke knew because he refused to talk about it with anyone, but whatever it was had the Uzumaki shaken. Not even Minato could get it out of his son, and Naruto did not know how to hide things from anyone…
"Dad."
Fugaku turned around, his eyes blank except for the briefest flash of recognition to see his seventeen-year-old son standing there, holding an umbrella over his head, free hand shoved into his pockets. Sasuke's original hair had returned years ago, though it was a near-blue black now instead of the simple black it was before. Though he wore a suit, Itachi's old suit, his nails were painted an almost rebellious dark purple, and Itachi's ring was on his finger. He fiddled with the piercing in his bottom lip with his tongue before he took a step closer, holding the umbrella over his head. "Dad, you're gonna give yourself a fever like that."
"Hn," responded Fugaku in standard Uchiha behavior, turning his attention away from his youngest son to the grave of his oldest. He couldn't look at Sasuke at that moment, who'd grown into such a striking resemblance of his brother and mother both. Itachi had given him the piercing about two months before he went into the hospital—the two of them had been drinking while Fugaku was out, and he came home to empty bottles of rum and two loopy, pierced and bleeding sons, one with a bleeding bottom lip and the other with two bleeding nipples.
It wasn't the proudest memory that Fugaku had of his sons together, but it was definitely one of the funniest, after he had cleaned up all the blood off of his bathroom floor, of course.
Sasuke took a step closer to his father, his onyx eyes betraying no emotion. "Uncle Minato invited us to go to dinner with him and Naruto later. I told him we'd be there. He's gonna pick us up at seven, and its three now. C'mon, Dad, we have to get you home, warmed up, and redressed. And probably give you some Airborne, just to make sure you won't catch anything from being a moron."
Fugaku would've hit Sasuke outside the head if he really cared right now.
"C'mon, Dad, let's go. Itachi'll be here when it stops raining."
His heart felt heavy. "Itachi's not here."
"Yeah, he is, Dad. Itachi will always be here. Now come on, Dad. It's cold and rainy, and I just want to be normal for a while. Let's go be normal for a while, Dad."
"I don't even know what normal is anymore."
Sasuke sighed. "Truthfully, I don't either. But we'll figure it out, Dad. We'll figure it out. Eventually, we'll figure it out. We've gotta. For Itachi."
Fugaku looked up at the sky, at the endless rain.
"For Itachi," he murmured.
Lyrics of the chapter is from "Re:Member" by FLOW from the album 'Anime Best'. (It's also Naruto opening #8).
This story is being posted on Adult FanFiction. If discontinued here, I will continue it there! It'll be under the author Kay_Gryffin! It has the same name.