Making Things Right

Shepard slowly paced around the captain's cabin, deep in thought. Something was making him feel restless, anxious – emotions he hadn't felt as intensely as he did now; not since the day he was brought back to this world. The source of these emotions was buried deep inside of him and he hated the feeling of being so helpless. Nothing, not even Horizon, had unnerved him as much, and these thoughts threatened to consume him. These thoughts of Liara.

What had just happened hours ago on Illium? Who was this person? Shepard had been gone for two years and yet, nothing had changed to the extent Liara had. Thinking of their imminent reunion, his mind had conjured up an image of overwhelming happiness and joy. It didn't turn out to be that way. There was the initial kiss that the two of them shared, yes, but it had ended abruptly and he had been taken aback by Liara's threat earlier as he had entered her office. And after that – it was like talking to a stranger. An impostor.

Finally sitting down on the chair near his desk, Shepard gazed at the picture of Liara he had placed by his computer. A single picture of an encased memory that had been his driving force for as long as he could remember. Finally getting to see her, hold her and touch her again should have made his life complete. It should have filled that empty void in his heart that only Liara could fit in. The one part of Shepard that even Project Lazarus couldn't bring back. Instead… it had only left dread and disappointment in its wake.

He tried everything he could to make her talk to him like she used to. Anything to see the face in that picture again. But Liara was not there. In her place, there was a woman obsessed with the idea of revenge trying everything she could to keep as much distance from Shepard as she could.

It had been two years, she said. Things didn't work this way. But why couldn't they? Had he been given the luxury of a thousand-year life-span, Shepard would have waited centuries if he had to. Maybe he wasn't as special to her as she was to him. And yet, he had been convinced that they had something incredible. Something worth fighting and dying for. And Liara felt the same way. What had changed?

Shepard sighed as he slouched on his chair, running a hand over his hair in frustration. He didn't ask himself why she had such an impact on his life – because he knew that it was she who changed it, reinvigorated it. She meant everything to him – of that he had always been aware, but he had never been more certain of it than during their first night together on Ilos. He could sit back and recall every moment of the union of their bodies and souls, feelings and thoughts, dreams and desires… It was a time of an out-of-this-world opportunity for him to explore and fall in love with every fibre of Liara's being – her very essence and soul. She was beautiful. From that point on, he had truly embraced eternity – and that eternity was her and her alone. The fact that he had gone through death and still remembered their joining perfectly as he held to the memory was his one real assurance that he was who he was before.

"Where are you, Liara?", Shepard whispered ruefully.

Despite knowing the mission he had to do and the stakes that came with it, Shepard found himself incapable of going further with things left as they were. The strength he hoped to find in his meeting with Liara never came. Instead he was filled with worry over the things he remembered before his death. Were they truly real? If they were, why did she act the way she did? Hadn't she felt the same? Had she given up on him?

Stop.

Shepard refused to be tormented by this any longer. One thing was for certain and only that was needed – his irrefutable faith in her. Whatever had happened over the course of these two years, his belief in Liara had never been in question, nor was his love for her. She had acted cold towards him, yes, but he couldn't imagine what she had gone through while he was gone. There had to be a reason for it. He would find a way to bring Liara back – he had to – for her sake and his. With one last look towards the picture frame on his desk, he whispered:

"I will find you, Liara."

The raindrops of the downpour made contact with the window of Liara's apartment on Illium as she stared through it, not really seeing the city of Nos Astra nor her own wistful reflection.

Instead, her mind was occupied with thoughts over what had happened a few hours ago when Liara finally got to see with her own eyes the one person in the galaxy that she couldn't live without come back into her life. Her feelings for him had never wavered, nor had her love for him, and seeing him in the flesh had made her stomach flutter and her heart skip a few beats – feelings she only had when she was around him. And then, just like that, she had brushed him off, and he was gone.

What had come over her? How could she have been so inconsiderate? In what way did Shepard deserve the treatment he got from her? It had been two years since she had been around him, touched him, kissed him, felt him – and the shock of seeing him going through that door must have caused a short-circuit in her mind to act the way she did. How else could she not notice the pain she was causing Shepard with every single word she uttered during their reunion? It was obvious that he had not expected to see or hear her like this. Neither had she.

A lot had happened since Shepard had died. Liara hadn't been herself for too long afterwards. Him being gone had left her so empty – so hollow. She wouldn't speak to anyone for days as she mourned and cried over the death of the one person in her life that gave her reason for it, made it complete. And that was only after she had gone past denying that Shepard was truly gone.

The sole purpose of giving his body to Cerberus after she had obtained it was her desperate belief in a miracle that he will be brought back somehow. And it had actually happened – Shepard was alive. He was back. That gave her a chance to bring her life back into balance, try to recover so much of what she had lost. And for all she knew, she could have just thrown it all away during the course of minutes.

Liara couldn't help but burst into tears. Being without him had changed her, turned her into something else, and she hated what she had become. She was supposed to be stronger than this. She knew that Shepard was the one person she had come to lean on, to trust and to love. Had she made a mistake letting him become such an integral part of her life? That her dependence on him could have been the reason she lost him again? She didn't know for certain as the tears from her eyes fell in a sorrowful unison with the downpour outside.

Liara was full of regrets – words she should have said and words she shouldn't have. And now, Shepard was once again doing what he always seemed to be doing – playing the part of the galaxy's saviour. She had offered her help in his search of the couple of questionable contacts he was after, but she hadn't provided the help she just knew Shepard needed the most. That thought wasn't willing to give her rest. She might have lost her only chance. Shepard could have gone already. If he hadn't, Liara doubted that he really wanted to see her again. Her words had left him looking so hurt. She would have to have been blind not to see that, but for reasons she couldn't fathom she hadn't done a thing about it.

"I'm so sorry, Shepard…"

She had to do something – she just had to, but what could she do? How would she let Shepard know that he is still as much in her heart as he had been before? She could simply tell him – but will he even believe her now?

Suddenly the bell to her apartment chimed. Liara brushed away the tears that were still falling from her eyes and looked at the door on the other side of the room with dread. Who could possibly be at the door during this night amid the rain? Had the Shadow Broker finally decided to deal with her?

Rushing towards one of the many Prothean artifacts she had around the room, Liara grabbed a pistol concealed behind one of them for self-defense. She wouldn't take any chances with visitors she didn't expect. Her biotics could potentially fight off whoever was after her, but having her pistol within arm's reach was still a comfort she felt was necessary. Cautiously walking towards the door, she looked towards the screen attached to the wall to the right to see who her visitor was. As soon as she did so, she felt her stomach clench. Was that really him?

She didn't let herself wonder about what she should do and acted on instinct as she opened the door to her apartment as quickly as she could, and once again, her heart missed a beat as she laid eyes on the person perpetually haunting her thoughts and inhabiting the depths of her soul.

"Shepard!"