Entertaining Angels Unawares

Disclaimer: The Friends characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment. However, Griselda and Hilda are my creations, and all material to do with the world of Griselda and Hilda is in the copyright of Issaries Inc.

This was written well back in 2001, as one way things could go after A Brief Affair; so it takes place way back, at the time of Series 4. On the gang's magical visit to the fantasy world in which Pavis is a city, see The One Where Rachel is Brave (and on Rachel's second visit, see Behind the Mask, posted on www.jjaks.net/othr). I re-post it here to demonstrate that I have never written f/f stuff exclusively, and, as I hope should be clear from what I do write, the sex interests me far less than the relationships. I would be interested in people's views on this, because, to be honest, I thought it was some of my best work, but I didn't get many reviews.

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Chapter 1

Rachel lay on her bed and tried to cry quietly. She did not want to attract Monica's attention. Chandler and Monica had fought again – they were worse than she and Ross had been – and this time without making up. She was afraid that the circumstances in which she and Monica had become lovers were repeating themselves, only worse, and Monica just might try to start all over again with her. The way she saw it now, Monica badly needed to be in love with someone, and while she naturally preferred it to be a man, she would settle for a woman to whom she was already close. Rachel, on the other hand, felt that she had really had enough of women and very much wanted a man, in fact one particular man – but what chance was there of that with Ross in his present mood? The final break-up with Emily seemed to have soured him on any but the most casual relationships with women, and to have coloured his whole attitude to them as well. She desperately wanted the old Ross back, if only as a friend. And she wasn't the only one: they were all being affected by Ross's behaviour, and it was slowly breaking down their previously happy relations. Phoebe was withdrawing from them, Joey was clearly unhappy with the situation but unable to think of anything to do about it, and she was no better. It was enough to make anyone cry.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. Had she been audible, after all? 'Monica?' she quavered.

'Not Monica,' said a familiar voice. 'Guess who!'

Rachel rolled over and gasped. 'Oh my God, Griselda! You've come here!' She sat up and embraced her warmly, and then caught sight of another person hovering behind. 'And Hilda too?'

'Yes,' said Hilda, sounding a bit embarrassed. 'We were together when it happened, just walking out after a meal.'

Rachel jumped off the bed and hugged her too. 'This is so great!' she cried, clapping her hands together, all her woes temporarily forgotten. 'Just when we all needed cheering up. And you've come at the weekend too: we don't have to work and can show you around. I wonder how long you'll be here – surely until tomorrow, at least.' She saw that both were dressed in standard Pavic style, with their swords and all. 'We'll have to dress you up New York-style,' she said. 'That will be fun.'

Both of them were looking about the room curiously. 'I never thought you lived in such style, Raychul,' said Griselda. 'You never gave me the idea you were rich.'

Rachel remembered Griselda's bare room and few possessions. 'It's just ¼ different here,' she said. 'It's hard to explain. We all have so many more things than you do, but ¼ '

'Rachel, who's that in there?' came Monica's voice from outside, sounding rather sharp.

'Come in and see!' cried Rachel gleefully.

Wrapped in her robe, Monica entered. Her frown changed to a look of amazement. 'You guys!' she cried, and threw her arms round Hilda enthusiastically, then went on to give Griselda a more restrained hug.

'We must get them some proper clothes,' said Rachel, 'in case they stay longer than we did in Pavis. I don't know why, but I have this strange feeling that they might.'

'I have that feeling too, I can't say how,' said Hilda, and Griselda nodded.

'One thing,' said Monica. 'You can't wear those swords out on the street, though maybe you could tuck something small away somewhere, if you feel you have to.'

'I can do that,' said Griselda proudly. 'It was how I killed an assassin who was after me when I was first in Pavis. He only came close because he thought I had no weapon.'

'Erm … yes,' said Rachel uncertainly. 'You'll have to tell us that story some time. But right now – clothes!' For the next hour or so there was a happy session of trying on clothes, during which the problems of fitting Griselda's small size were more or less successfully overcome and both Griselda and Hilda seemed to loosen up considerably. Then Monica gave a tremendous yawn.

'Oh, we're keeping you up!' cried Hilda. 'Just show us somewhere to sleep and we'll get out of your way.' In fact, they both seemed tired also, and rather overwhelmed by all these new experiences. Blankets and pillows were produced, the bathroom briefly explained, and then all settled down, the visitors being quite happy to sleep on the floor.

Griselda and Hilda were the first to wake, perhaps subconsciously stimulated by a wish to explore this new world as soon as they could. Monica, always up before Rachel, found them standing well back from the windows and exclaiming in a rather scared way over the view. They had dressed in their new clothes, both choosing shirts and pants.

They greeted her enthusiastically. 'We are still here!' cried Hilda, actually skipping up and down for a moment. 'Maybe we'll get to stay a long time. Would you mind?'

'Not at all, if you don't mind sleeping on the floor,' said Monica. 'I would welcome the company, and so would Rachel, I believe.'

'You live a long way above the ground,' said Griselda. 'I don't mind saying, it makes me nervous.'

'Oh, we're used to it,' said Monica breezily.

'How's Chandlabing?' asked Hilda. Monica's face clouded. 'Chandler and I are ¼ not together now,' she said. 'We fought rather badly.'

'You fought?' said Griselda, her brows coming down.

'Oh, not what that might mean to you,' said Monica hastily. 'Simply, he got very angry one day, I don't quite understand why, and he said … well, never mind. He may not come over.' Seeing their blank looks, she explained that Chandler and Joey lived just across the hall.

'And Feebee and Ross?'

'They live elsewhere,' said Monica, 'but you can see Ross's apartment from here.'

'Show us,' demanded Griselda, and Monica went to the window to show them. As it happened, Ross was looking out, with a rather sombre expression. She waved excitedly, and pointed at Griselda and Hilda. At first he looked puzzled, then he vanished from the window abruptly.

'He did not seem in a very good mood,' said Hilda diplomatically.

'He never is, these days,' said Monica rather sadly. 'We don't really understand why, though it must be partly because he has broken up with Emily. He really wanted that marriage to work.'

Just then, Rachel came in, yawning. 'Great, you guys are still here,' she said, and gave them both another hug. 'Let's give them a good American breakfast, Mon. Then maybe we can show them Central Perk and stuff.'

'Anything for guests!' cried Monica, beginning to pull out cooking items and packets. 'But wait – I don't know what you like to eat.'

Rachel had gone to shower and the others were well into an animated discussion of food, when Ross came crashing into the room. 'What the hell is going on, Monica?' he shouted. 'Who are these women, and what do they mean to you?'

'Hilda and Griselda,' said Monica, taken aback by his violence. 'Don't you recognise them?'

Ross looked completely flummoxed. 'Oh,' was all he said.

'Why, what did you think?' said Griselda, looking at him closely. He seemed to flush slightly and muttered something about having got the wrong idea. 'Let it go. Welcome to New York,' he added, a bit ungraciously.

'Thank you,' said Griselda. 'I hope we stay long enough to enjoy it and get to know you all better.'

Rachel emerged from the bathroom. 'Why were you shouting, Ross?' she asked innocently.

'I said, let it go!' snapped Ross, as he took a seat on the couch facing away from them all. Rachel's lips quivered, and she hurried into the bedroom.

The next to arrive was Joey, who came in when Griselda and Hilda were happily sampling a range of cereals and Monica was cooking pancakes. 'Hey hey hey!' he said jovially. 'Who are the visitors?'

'It's us, Joey,' said Griselda demurely. 'Do we look different without our swords?'

Joey did a double-take, and his eyes bulged. 'Holy cow!' he said. 'More weird stuff! I'll go and tell Chandler,' and before anyone could comment he was out of the door again. He had still not returned when Phoebe came in. She recognised Griselda and Hilda at once and gave them both a hearty hug.

'You look so cute in modern clothes!' she exclaimed gleefully. 'But I hope you've not left off all of your stuff. New York is not always safe.'

Hilda produced a dagger from her waistband, while Griselda gave her right hand a kind of flick, and a thin knife appeared in it. 'We know something about cities,' she said. 'I'm good at throwing this too. Look!' and she put it into a window frame, almost dead centre. Phoebe applauded, delighted. 'Great!' she cried. 'I wonder if your magic stuff works here?'

'Let's hope we don't have to find out,' said Hilda seriously.

'Griselda, take that knife out and put it away,' said Monica sternly. 'This is not the place for target practice.' Looking a little shamefaced, Griselda went to the window, pulled the knife out cleanly, and made it vanish up her sleeve again. Then she flashed a grin at Monica. 'Sorry, mother,' she said, so like a little girl that she made all the others laugh, even Ross.

Monica waved her cooking slice at her threateningly. 'Sit down and be good, or it's no pancakes for you!'

'Yes, mother,' said Griselda meekly, causing more laughter. Ross came over to join her and Hilda, smiling. 'Sorry I didn't give you a better welcome,' he said. 'I have a lot of things on my mind just now.'

'Well, I gave you all a much worse welcome in Pavis,' said Griselda. 'But now you know I'm not always like that.'

'First pancakes up!' cried Monica, bringing a plateful to the table. As if irresistibly attracted by the aroma, Joey and Chandler came in. Chandler said 'Hi' in a reserved fashion, carefully did not look at Monica, and took a seat as far away from her as possible, smiling shyly at Hilda and Griselda.

'Have a nice trip?' he asked, after a moment.

Griselda, who was next to him, nearly choked on her pancake and quickly spat some out. 'Don't make me laugh when I'm eating,' she pretend-snarled, 'or else – ' and she produced the knife again. Chandler's eyes widened.

'Now, Griselda,' said Hilda. 'You know what Monica told you.'

'Well, I'm eating these fine pancakes now, so what can she do?' said Griselda merrily as she vanished the knife again. 'Chandla, jokes are fine, but not all the time. Silences don't have to be broken, you know.'

The glint in her eyes reassured him that she was funning. 'But if I don't make jokes all the time, I may forget how,' he said.

'Oh, you!' said Griselda, flashing him a brilliant smile and playfully punching him on the shoulder. 'Why your friends haven't slaughtered you by now is more than I know. But you're too handsome to kill.' She ran a hand over his arm caressingly, as if to make up for the punch.

'Is Griselda really coming on to Chandler?' muttered Phoebe to Hilda, as Chandler, encouraged by this attention, started a proper conversation with Griselda. Hilda grinned. 'She's up to something, for sure,' she muttered back. 'I recognise that look.'

'Cook's taking time out,' announced Monica. 'Anyone who wants any more pancakes can make their own.' She tapped Hilda on the shoulder. 'Come and talk to me on the couch,' she said. 'This table's too crowded.' Surprised but pleased, Hilda followed her to the couch. Chandler kept glancing at them, Griselda noticed, and so did Ross, his face darkening again. Griselda thought she knew another reason for Ross's bad mood.