Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville or any of the characters…
A/N: Season-less fic although Clark and Lana are still together…
Whenever he enters the room, he never lets himself look at me first. It's a conscious decision; he does it to throw me off guard and to make sure that certain secrets remain just that. Secret. I glance at him from behind my coffee mug, my eyes soaking up every inch of his perfect body. The way his jeans cling in all the right places, the way his too-tight t-shirt hugs his biceps and drapes over the rippling abdominal muscles he keeps so well hidden. As he pulls up a chair to sit next to Lana, I have to tug the hair at the nape of my neck to stop myself from reaching out for him, to remind myself that he isn't really mine. He offers me a smile as compensation, I accept it graciously, the crowded Talon is no place for a confrontation and I have no reason to want one anyway.
"Where have you been?" asked Lana, that familiar annoying whine to her voice that she only used on him. "I've missed you," I roll my eyes as Clark kisses her on the cheek, placating her with affection; it would never work on me. I think that's what he gets from our dalliances, Lana can be such a needy sap but I didn't take any of his shit. Ever. He needed that dominance sometimes, it was what drove him into my arms – no, my bed – in the first place.
"Dad needed me to stay on the farm a little longer," he explained, Lana nodded and sipped at her coffee. I smiled to myself, knowing full well that Clark hadn't been working on the farm but showering, scrubbing my smell from his skin while I sprayed a little perfume to mask his and met Lana. We were both playing in this subterfuge and loving every second of it. I had never been this careless with anybody's emotions before; it wasn't that I didn't like Lana. On the contrary, Lana and I had grown closer than ever lately, we were friends and I liked her a lot. It was just that Clark had been mine before he had ever fallen for her; I was just exerting my rights over him. Losing Clark's affection to the brunette cheerleader had been a slap across the face and so, this version of me had been born. The bitch, the thief, the bad girl, the slut. I had taken Clark back by force and he had preferred the new Chloe; he had taken the new Chloe to places neither of us had been before, places he had yet to take his precious Lana.
"I meant to tell you," she started. "I can't see you tonight. Lex wants to see me up at the mansion; whenever we meet up there I never get home before midnight, I swear to God,"
"It's just Lex being thorough, I'm sure," I smiled. "You know how he can be about business,"
"It's fine," said Clark, kissing Lana's hand. "I've got school work to do anyway and I'll never get it done with you around," Lana grinned and slapped Clark's arm in defence of herself. I had already lost interest in their affectionate banter; my mind was fixed on tonight. There was no way Clark was doing any school work, I had seen that mischievous grin appear when Lana announced her inability to see him, it was the grin only I ever got to see. The one part of Clark that was mine alone.
I was snapped back into reality when Lana excused herself to go to the bathroom. Clark and I were alone and we were in public, these were the moments where I really tested my self-restraint. I raised my eyes to him, he was giving me that look of abject lust I had grown used to and I could feel myself getting hotter by the second.
"Are you feeling guilty yet?" I asked, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear and smiling at him coyly.
"Yes," he admitted, glancing over his shoulder to the closed door of the ladies' bathroom. "But not enough to stop," Never a truer word spoken. I hadn't known when the guilt, the real guilt, was going to set in but I wasn't going to live my life in fear of it.
"I thought you'd still be tired from this afternoon," I grinned. He leaned forward slightly, his voice lowered and his perfect face losing its faux innocence.
"I want to hear you scream my name tonight," he whispered. If I weren't worried about being seen, I would have climbed across the table to take him right then and there, just hearing those words spill forth from his beautifully curved lips. I pressed my thighs together and relished the buzz between my legs, aching for Clark to make it all a reality right now. I almost screamed in frustration when Lana rejoined us at the table; it was hard to share him with her but I wasn't blind or stupid. I knew the rules; Clark was Lana's boyfriend and I was just 'the other woman'. I didn't feel any pity for myself, even on the nights he stayed with her and I cried into my pillow. I was the one who chose to put myself in this position because I need Clark. And people don't think straight when it comes to the basest of human needs. I feel terrible whenever I look into Lana's glittering, excited eyes because I know what her boyfriend is doing behind her back but then I look deep into Clark's chocolate puppy dog eyes and know that there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm trapped… and I like it.