Just a Boy

By LadyofAnime

A/N: The first chapter is kinda angsty, but the second chapter is happier. Special thanks to the information on Amanuma-kun's first name. (I was so sure I'd never find it...) Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

LadyofAnime now presents...

"Boys and Second Chances"

Dedicated to Tsukihito Amanuma and Shuichi Minamino

It was sunny. A beautiful day; with a slight breeze blowing through the trees and the smell of spring in the air. The flowers were in full bloom and a lovely cherry blossom tree stood over a fresh grave in the corner of a quiet cemetery. A few of the flowers had already fallen, sprinkling themselves across the dark earth. A young man with blood red hair and mysterious green eyes made his way to the grave. In his hand, he held a bouquet of roses, grown especially by him just yesterday. He stopped at the foot of the grave and stood there, silent, thinking, regretting, for a good five minutes. Then he placed the flowers by the tombstone, next to a bunch of lilies. The tombstone read,

'Tsukihito Amanuma

4/23/93 – 5/15/04

You might not know it, but we miss you...'

The boy knelt and said a silent prayer.

"I guess you knew the kid too, huh."

The boy jumped and spun around to face a young girl, perhaps a year or two younger than him, with dark navy blue hair and eyes to match.

"Who are you?" said the boy.

The girl shrugged.

"Just call me Lily."

"I'm Shuichi."

The girl crouched down and stared at the grave for a long time. Her face was unreadable and her eyes seemed slightly...empty.

"He was a kid in my little brother's class," she said finally. "I only met him twice."

She paused and brushed away a few petals that had landed on the gravestone.

"Once, my little brother invited him to his birthday. He seemed like a loner. He didn't really talk with the other kids or play any of the games. He just sat by the table and played on his Gameboy. I asked what he was playing. He said he had just finished beating the game for the 12th time. It was like...he thought he was...superior to the others, even me. I thought he was just a snob. I met him once more in the arcade. He challenged me to a game and beat me in ten minutes. I was kinda pissed, so I yelled at him when he started bragging. At first it looked like he didn't even cared, but I watched him for a while and no one came to play with him, or even come and pick him up. He looked really...really...lonely. I didn't see him after that."

Lily sighed.

"And three months later, I find out that someone found him dead in that cave called Demon's Door. My mom and my little brother went to his funeral, but I didn't want to go. I started feeling guilty. Really guilty. So I picked some flowers out of the garden in my backyard and came here."

She fell silent again.

"How'd you know him?"

Shuichi kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke.

"I played a game with him," he said in a low, quiet voice. "Once. I beat him. Later...I found him...in the cave."

Shuichi's long red hair was draped around his face like a curtain, hiding his emotions from the world. To the world, he was always calm and collected, cool and suave, but no one knew the thoughts that roamed about in his head. No one knew that when he heard the sound of that boy's body slumping to the floor, he wished it was him. He wished that he had died and taken the place of that boy; the poor, misguided boy who had only wanted a little attention. No one ever knew how much he regretted having to kill that boy, or how his death reminded him of so many others he had killed. He still remembered every single person he had ever murdered in his previous life, and he still regretted them all. But no one knew, because he didn't want them to know, because to the world, he was perfect.

"No one knows how he died," Lily said. "The doctors couldn't explain it. It was just like his soul decided to...leave his body." She sniffed. "He was just a boy," she said softly. "He was only ten years old." Her throat felt tight, but she kept talking. "He never even got through elementary school. And now he's gone...he was just a boy...only three years younger than me...and he's dead."

Lily laughed. It was a strange sound, amused, sad, and confused all at once. Shuichi looked down at her. There were tears sparkling in her eyes, but none had fallen.

Didn't anybody realize that Shuichi was just a boy too? In his previous life, he had learned to block out emotions at a very young age and it had carried on into his present life, but deep down, he still had the heart of a boy. He still felt young; too young to be dealing with such heavy decisions. He had made many a choice in his life, and a few of them were the wrong ones or the lesser of two evils. He was only 15 in human years, and even as Youko, he was still young. The toughest decisions were always left to him, because he was the most rational. But just like the rest of the Tantei, just like Amanuma, he was just a boy.

Lily looked up at the boy standing beside her and was shocked at the depth of his eyes. They were so... complex ...so old...and yet so young...and so hurt at the same time...it almost pained her to look at him... She stared intently at him, trying to read his emotion. What she found was an old spirit who had made many mistakes, and had many regrets. Some were small things, pinpricks in his heart; and some were large, like gaping holes dug deep, and hidden well. Staring straight into those unfathomable eyes she said again,

"He was just a boy."

She stood, brushing away tears embarrassedly.

"Just a boy," she repeated.

The pair stood, like fallen angels, over the new grave for a long, long time. It wasn't until the sun was setting and painting ribbons of color across the sky, that Lily put her hand tentatively on Shuichi's shoulder and said,

"It's okay to live with regrets..." she paused, "...because no one is perfect. And you almost never get a second chance."

Lily turned and walked away, down the path, to the cemetery gate. She paused for a moment, looking back at the figure standing in the corner of the graveyard. Brushing more tears from her eyes, she pushed through the gate and headed home.

Shuichi stayed in that spot for a long, long time after that. Night had fallen and the stars were coming out, shining gently down on the earth. He looked up as a lone tear trailed down his cheek and he wiped it away quickly. After a lot of thinking, he had realized something. Lily was right.

He turned and walked away, down the path, to the cemetery gate. He paused for a moment, looking back at the grave of the child he had sentenced to death. But it was only for a moment. Sniffing lightly, he walked away, leaving behind two bouquets of flowers. One of roses and one of lilies.

A/N: So there it is, the first, angsty chapter. I did some work on it and improved it some. I hope you readers like the new version.

Look out for the next chapter!

LadyofAnime