In Her Eyes
ann no aku
Plot: Human Doctor watches Rose sleep and thinks of everything they have been through together.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. The title is taken from the song "In Her Eyes" from Josh Groban.
*****
She
stares through my shadow I am not a hero This world keeps on spinning (Refrain) In her eyes I see (Refrain)
She sees something more
Believes
there's a light in me
She is sure
And her truth makes me
stronger
Does she realize
I awake every morning
With her
strength by my side
I am not an angel
I
am just a man
Man who's trying to love her
Unlike any other
In
her eyes I am
Only she steals
my heart
She's my inspiration
She's my northern star
I don't
count my possession
All I call mine and
give her completely
To
the end of all time
the
sky and all I'll
ever need
In her eyes time
passes by and
she is
with me
In her eyes I am
*****
Quietly and deliberately, the same way he has done it every night for the past three months (since arriving in Bad Wolf Bay), he got up from the bed. Despite being half human, his sleep needs were still not normal; he only needed four or five hours per night at most.
He crept to the armchair by the window of their room. They shared a house, a room, a bed, yet hardly much passed between them after their kiss those months ago. The human bit of him craved more, wanted more, but the Time Lord part of him reminded himself that love is beyond sex and words. The way they moved together, understood each other so completely that sometimes a look was all that was needed, those satisfied his human needs.
Yet, at times, it was as though she'd forget only half of him is human and Rose would look at him like she could see through his ancient barriers. Every one of his walls would crumble and he would see how she loved him, etched deeply within her eyes. At those times, which increased in frequency with day as he aged, he could see everything reflected in her eyes—the universe, himself, her belief in him.
He studied her sleeping form, the faint green glow of the clock casting on her face. It was the same as every night he watched her, but every time more intense and overpowering. As he grew older, his feelings grew deeper. Finding (and plucking) one of his gray hairs together had his singular heart swell in his chest, threatening to burst from her laughter and happiness.
Apart from that day on the beach where they had said goodbye to the Doctor and Donna, he didn't tell her he loved her, but neither needed to hear it, to say it. Everything was beyond the simplicity of words; their bond was far more meaningful than anything that could ever be said. No one understood it, but then no one had been with them as they had watched Pete Tyler die, Earth explode or their numerous reunions after a particularly dangerous or devastating day.
Without Rose, he'd be nothing, a husk, an empty shell drifting through space and time to give his existence meaning. And she knew it. She knew he lived off her strength and trust in him, creating this light in him which made him feel that it'd be impossible to live up to such standards. Yet even as he failed, she never wavered. To her, he wasn't the Doctor or his lesser clone, and he wasn't just a man either (contrary to what he had yelled at her once or twice), he was the person she loved, and that was enough.
She sighed in her sleep, pulling him out his reverie and into the moment, her. It was all for her, her smile, joy, love. He suspected that Rose didn't know of his nightly visits, for he felt she'd just want him to stay with her in their bed. But it was these moments he truly felt the weight of her feelings for him and could appreciate them the most. He could see her true face, feel her thoughts and dreams because she was relaxed (the only time he could now), and those fueled his own love for her, strengthening their connection.
After watching her for nearly another hour (the clock now glowed just after four), he crawled back into bed, cradling her against him. In her eyes time passed by and she's with him, all he'll ever need.
*****
I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review.
~ann no aku