In my restless dreams,
I see that
town.
Silent Hill.
We Always said that we
Would go
there again
But we never did. Did we?
Well I'm alone there now...
In our "special place"
Waiting for
you...
Waiting for you to
come to see me.
But you never do.
And so I wait, wrapped in my
cocoon of pain and
loneliness.
I know I've done a terrible
thing to
you. Something you'll
never forgive me for.
I
wish I could change
that, but I can't…
"And I'm sorry James." Whispers, maybe even half-dreams, Mary as she leans over a gray brick wall watching lake Toluca for a bit. Strange, thick, almost white colored fog seems to hover around the lake like a distant dream or memory hovers around the troubled mind.
Mary looks around instinctively, not really trying to find, or see, something, but rather simply just to look. The same fog over Toluca Lake seems to hover around her own mind as she tries to understand where she was and how she got there. An empty rest stop, that was all she could figure out at first, she was at an empty rest stop. The gray, deteriorated restroom nearby to her was one of the first things she noticed. The restroom's walls were covered more with posters and graffiti then with the aging and dull paint that it seems to have been originally painted with.
Most of the poster seemed… old and almost all from the same source the vaguely familiar sounding Heaven's Night. Heaven's Night, Perhaps it was one of those strip clubs James liked to frequent. Judging by the barely clothed women on it, Maria, it was certainly a strip club anyway. Even on their honeymoon James would go to those places. Mary had learned to deal with the undercurrent of perversion from James throughout their marriage but never really learned to accept it. Somewhere inside she could still feel the jealousy. Something about James looking at other women like the Maria on that poster just made her stomach churn. Of course then again after what she had done who was she to judge.
Mary turned her head to the floor and just stared at it embarrassed at the thought of it, of what she had done to James. Worse yet was the thought that he knew! He knew and she didn't care. Mary began to try focus in on one of the millions or dark gray colored rocks scattered about the cracked pavement of the rest stops parking lot but she couldn't.
It dawned on her that not to far from her was their car. It's light blue paint glittering in the sun despite the caked on dirt.
"Did I drive that? How could I? I'm to sick to drive." It was only as this thought ushered out of her head that it truly donned on her. She didn't feel ill at all. For the first time in at least a year she didn't feel like she was sick. No puking, no sick feeling, nothing it was amazing! Mary couldn't even remember what it was like not to feel healthy so this feeling was more than a bit shocking. She raised her hands up to look at them, just to be sure. After all she may not feel ill but she might still look it. Her hands looked healthy enough but larger then she remember, maybe even to large to be a women's hands at all. Was it an effect of the illness? And why was she wearing James' favorite coat?
The sound of a car's tires crackling on the scattered rocks in the parking lot almost immediately drew Mary's thoughts away from her hands and clothing. She whipped around so that her back was to the gray brick wall and she was facing in to the parking lot. Mary watched as a black car, some kind of 1980's version of a grandma Junker car pulled into the parking lot. It stop next to a delivery van that was previously parked in the parking lot.
"James?" A voiced called from inside the car as a women's arm extended out of it pushing open the door. "James. My god! What the hell are you doing here?"
Mary looked about herself searching for James or even something resembling him, nothing. "Who the hell is she talking to?" Mary thought. "What a nut job. James isn't even here!"
Mary watched as the women got of the car. She seemed to be about average height if not a little short. Her hair was almost fire hydrant bright red which surely made her stick out anywhere like a sore thumb. Her skin was bit pale and a little on the chubby side. It took Mary a few second to realize that the person stepping out of the car was James' best friend since high school Miriam. Mary always wondered how Miriam had ended up James' friend. James (even though Mary loved him) always seemed a tiny bit shallow and Miriam was not the most attractive person by any stretch of the imagination. Probably the only nice looking thing about her was her light green eyes. Miriam lumbered up to Mary in her usual heavy-footed way.
"James, why did you come all the way out here for god's sake? Silent Hill has been closed for years! Are you okay? Look I know your upset about your wife coming home to… die but why did you disappear like that? We were all worried. And what about Mary? Where is she?" Mary could tell by the look on her face that she was more then a little concerned about James. Due to this look she had, Mary being the nice person she was, was too nice to come straight out and call her a nut.
"Miriam who are you talking to?" Mary asked trying her best not to sound as though she thought Miriam was crazy, even if she did think Miriam was acting crazy.
"What are you talking about? Have you been drinking again?" Miriam's face grew a look of even more concern.
"I never drink and you know that Miriam! How dare you."
"What are you talking about James you..."
Mary was really just confused by Miriam. Was she insane? Mary could tell Miriam was absolutely convinced that she was James. Mary cut her off before she finished in confusion. "I'm not James. It's Mary. Don't you know the difference? I know I'm wearing his coat but my god Miriam!"
"Jesus, James, how much have you been drinking. Where are you staying James? I'll drive you, you can sleep it off okay."
"I am not James." Mary was getting frustrated and it showed in her voice and, she was pretty sure, on her face.
"Look, Just tell me what hotel you're staying at and you can go sleep it off okay." Miriam's voice sounded like that of someone who was try to be both patient and hiding the fact that she found this whole thing annoying.
"Hotel? What hotel!?" Mary didn't even know where she was. How could she have a hotel? She didn't remember checking into one, or going anywhere even. All she could remember is dieing in bed at home. "Honestly Miriam. I don't even know where I am."
"Do you even have a hotel James? Did you drive all the way to Silent Hill without booking a room in a hotel? Where is Mary anyway? You can sleep it off in my hotel room. We'll look for Mary later. I'm sure she'll be okay for a bit. Come on James I'll help you over to the car."
"Silent Hill! How did I get here? I thought that was Toluca Lake!"
"Jeez James. Look I'll drive you. Sleep it off. We'll look for Mary when you're ready…Pick up your car tomorrow okay?"
Mary was not about to get into a car with Miriam acting like a complete nut. She hesitated a bit.
"I forgot something in Silent Hill Miriam. I have to go get it." Mary had thought of some dumb excuses in her life but this had to be the dumbest she could remember. "I forgot something? Good one Mary, real smooth" Was all she could think.
"James, you can get it later I'm sure it's…"
"No, I… I need it. I'm just going to go get it. You can wait for me here if you want. I shouldn't be to long."
"Do you want me to come help you find whatever it is." Miriam watched as Mary started to go over to this little footpath in one corner of the rest stop. Miriam's face looked of both concern and a yearning to follow.
"No, ummm, that's okay Miriam I can find it on my own. No need to follow I'll be fine. Really." Mary couldn't desire to get away from Miriam more if she tried. "What the hell is wrong with her anyway?" Mary couldn't understand it. Miriam was always one of the sanest people she had known her recent dovetail into insanity was bizarre at best. Mary figured the best thing she could do now was go down the footpath to where ever, Silent Hill probably, and get away from Miriam. Mary Stared down the footpath, the dirt in the path was a mustard yellowish color, dusty looking. It looked like a peaceful path if anything, one side bordered a forest of evergreens and other such native plants and the other side was a straight drop down a cliff.
Mary turned around to look at Miriam for just one second. She watched as Miriam walked back to her car in a sort or dejected way then turned around and stared at Mary. The stare Miriam gave Mary shook her deep inside. Like Miriam was staring inside her soul or something. Mary couldn't help but turn her head and look the other way. Mary didn't look back again as she walked down the dusty footpath to Silent Hill. The mustard yellow dust kicked up with each step. Mary couldn't help as the sinking feeling and murky confusion, like the fog of lake Toluca, seeped in her mind, heart, and perhaps deeper into her soul.