Disclaimer: The characters that follow belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bro. I am making no money off of this; it is just for entertainment.
Pained Concealment
By E.K. Kropp
The world couldn't understand his pain, nobody did. They told him they understood, but it was all lies and they knew it. He had lived in this world of lies for far too long, the world of people tiptoeing around him; he was so sick of it all that he just wanted to explode. Harry wanted to unleash it all, to scream, to rave, to be through with it all, but he would not and could not give himself this luxury. He would prove them all wrong, that he was not a child, that he could take care of himself, and most importantly that he did not need a 24-hour babysitter.
So that is why, if anyone were to stumble up to the astronomy tower for a midnight snog, they would find a desolate 16-year-old hero at an all time low. Harry Potter was wallowing in self-pity, as was the usual these days. His knees were pulled to his chest with his chin resting on them. His cherished invisibility cloak was lying long forgotten by his side. Harry no longer cared whether he was caught after hours or not, what was the point?
Just two short hours after coming to the top of the Astronomy Tower, the sound of approaching footsteps could be heard. But strangely, Harry did not react. You see, Harry already knew that she was coming because of his map, and he saw no need to hide under his cloak. She would find him sooner or later; she had always had the uncanny ability of knowing where he was.
A few moments later she emerged through the arched opening that led from the stairs to the open area of the tower. Her bright red hair stood out in stark contrast even against the blackness of the sky. For a moment she did not move nor did she say a word, but Harry could tell she was angry.
"What, exactly, are you doing out here?" Ginny Weasley finally asked as she crossed her arms in an angry stance.
Harry continued to sit motionless but answered her without hesitation.
"Sitting."
"Yes, I can see that," Ginny responded, keeping her pose and not approaching him.
A long drawn out period of silence followed. Harry did not outright look at her, but he did sneak a few glances. Ginny's features were bathed in shadow but her outline was quiet clear.
"They are your friends no matter what you do," Ginny was the first to speak once again.
Harry jumped slightly at the abrupt harshness of her voice. He then shifted so that he could see her better.
"They're not acting like it," Harry said defiantly. He knew that they were right and he was wrong, but he wasn't about to admit that to her.
"Maybe that's because they are sick and tired of your childish bullshit," Ginny replied coolly.
"Ron's the one that blew up at me!" Harry defended himself.
"Well you deserved it!"
"I did not! Ron's the childish one, not me!" Harry yelled as he stood up and stomped over to her.
"Pushing them away is not going to work! You know they're just going to push right back!" Ginny yelled back, not moving as Harry angrily got to his feet.
"I do not want to be lectured!"
"Well, you're going to be. You think that you're the center of the universe, but your not. You think that everything is your fault and that it's always your job to save the world but it isn't! So just stop, because I for one am sick of your stupid issues," Ginny said exasperatedly.
Harry opened his mouth to yell it was his job to save the world, that everything was his fault. It was his fault that his parents and Sirius was dead, and that it was his fault that so many people were dieing and suffering.
"But it is my fault," Harry muttered as he slid back down the wall and closed his eyes, as a mantra started to ring in his mind, the prophecy, the prophecy.
Ginny sighed and did the same. She didn't say anything right away, but instead she stared up at the star littered sky. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the brightest star in the sky, the Dog Star. A lone tear fell from her closed eyelids, as she thought about how ironic it was that the star was named Sirius.
"Harry it isn't your fault that Sirius died," she whispered.
"Yes, it is," Harry mumbled, "If I hadn't been so stupid, he would still be alive."
"Harry, no one could keep Sirius away from the fight; he cared about you to much. Sirius was not meant to stay in that house forever; he couldn't stand Snape's snide remarks. Harry, it just wasn't his way," Ginny replied earnestly.
After Harry didn't say anything, Ginny continued.
"Harry, everything will always be Voldemort's fault, not yours."
Harry started and swung his head around to look at her, he had never heard her say his name before.
"Ginny I don't want to talk about it anymore," Harry said in an exhausted voice.
Ginny sighed but did not pursue it any longer. The two did not talk for a long time after that, the silence was comfortable and familiar. As they sat silent, Harry began to truly think about what Ginny had said. He was not yet able to admit the fact that Sirius's death was not his fault, but he did accept that he was hurting his friends. Ginny is right, I can't protect them by pushing them away. They're too stubborn to stay back.
Harry stopped his sky gazing for a moment to turn and thank her when he saw her brush away a teardrop. Worry about a possible upcoming girl sobbing-session flooded him, immediately remembering his past experiences with crying girls; they had not been pleasant.
"Enough of this depressing stuff. So how long have you known?" Ginny asked.
"Err… Known about what?"
"Ron and Hermione, you daft prat! What else would I be talking about?" Ginny said, throwing up her hands.
Harry blushed when he realized what she was talking about.
"How did you know about that?" Harry asked in amazement, remembering a week ago when he had accidentally walked in on the two of them. Thankfully they hadn't been doing much more than snogging.
"About Ron and Hermione trying to suck each other's mouths off, or you knowing about it?" Ginny answered with a question.
"Um, both."
"Well, I walked in on them a few months ago. I knew that you knew because I could read it all over face, but it also helped that you looked particularly green around them for the past week or so. Of course they have no clue, those randy bastards are too caught up with each other to notice a thing," Ginny announced proudly.
"I walked in on them too," Harry revealed, feeling slightly nauseous at the memory.
"I literally had nightmares for weeks afterward, honestly I'll never be the same," after a pause Ginny continued. "Do you know what we sound like?" she asked suddenly.
"No, what do we sound like?"
"Like one of those stupid help group thingies they talk about in my Muggle Studies class," Ginny joked.
"I know what you're talking about," Harry laughed for the first time in months, "like those people that sit in a circle and tell everybody their troubles."
"Yep, those are them," Ginny agreed.
"Pathetic."
After another moments pause Harry suddenly felt awkward as Ginny's arm brushed his, and he blushed once more, glad that it was dark.
"Um Ginny, maybe we should go before we get caught up here by Snape, and then get a month's worth of detention," Harry said, standing quickly and gathering the cloak and map.
"You're right let's go and face the music," Ginny agreed and stood up also.
"What do mean by that?" Harry asked in bewilderment.
"I'm sure Ron and Hermione are waiting up, biting their nails for your return," Ginny joked.
And with that they left under Harry's invisibility cloak, the Marauder's map clutched firmly in his left hand.
The End
A/N: Thanks to my beta, sissy6 and J.K. Rowling who allow us to twist her characters around ;). Please Review!
