once was lost

by whowhatsitwhich

She eyed him off in that deceptively calm way she had but her restless hands on her knife hilt betrayed her…the way her thumb traced the whorls of the knuckleduster before slipping around the hilt. Her feet shifted in the dust and the turned down edges of her mouth hinted at a sour taste for what she was about to say.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.~Amazing Grace

It wasn't the first time he'd seen her with a bag over her shoulder and a weapon slung across her back. This time brought a pang with it along with the realization that she wasn't staying with the rest of them at Hilltop. She eyed him off in that deceptively calm way she had but her restless hands on her knife hilt betrayed her…the way her thumb traced the whorls of the knuckleduster before slipping around the hilt. Her feet shifted in the dust and the turned down edges of her mouth hinted at a sour taste for what she was about to say.

"Going back to the Kingdom?" He headed her off, figuring it would be easier than dancing around it.

Carol nodded, her blue eyes taking inventory of his features. "Yeah," she replied softly. "They're gonna need hands and able backs to get it going again. Ezekiel and the few soldiers he has left won't be enough. And there's Henry to consider."

Henry? Oh. Oh! The boy who'd wandered off after the Saviors and who was almost certainly dead. Except he wasn't and Carol had brought him back, a little more ragged and a lot more chastened than when he'd left. No doubt she'd scorched his ears about the consequences of his actions. No doubt she'd hugged the daylights outta the brat once she'd run out of steam.

He understood. Knowing her as he did, those three sentences and the way she met his gaze boldly spoke volumes. She would go where she felt she was the most needed. She had to be useful, and not just as a set of hands. The Kingdom would need someone to teach them to fight, to start over, to absorb the blow that the war with Negan had dealt them and use it to prepare them for the next time. Lord knows that there would always be a next time, another Negan.

"The long range walkies are still good and there's plenty of batteries and chargers. Make sure you take a few of them with you. It ain't a long way from here to the Kingdom but you can't ever tell what might happen."

Carol nodded, her eyes lingering even as she half turned to walk away. "There'll be trading runs. Heard a few of them talking about doing some scouting too. Somebody will need to organize hunting parties. It'll be easier if we work together."

"Me and Jesus will be doing some of that," Daryl ventured. "Maybe Diane since she's a good shot with that bow. Been thinking about getting up some slingshots too. They're good for small game, rabbits and squirrels and such."

"That's a good idea. One thing we've got plenty of is rocks."

"Rocks work. So do ball bearings and marbles." Daryl shifted his bow from hand to the other, unsure of what else to say. "I'll make one for the boy and teach him how to use it if you want."

A slow smile bloomed and then worked its way up to her eyes. "That'd be good, Daryl. He'd like that."

Giving a short nod, he looked past her to the truck waiting by the wide open gate. "You heading out alone?" The gruff tone plainly showed his disdain for that plan. "Carol, that ain't…." He trailed off as her smile widened in to a grin. "What?"

"Jerry's coming with me. I think we can manage."

"Yeah, well." He awkwardly cleared his throat and avoided her amused gaze. "You stay safe, alright?"

"Nine lives, Daryl."

He actually smirked before turning on heel and stalking off across the courtyard. "Gotta be more like two or three at this point. Just don't go all…you, okay? Matter of fact, let Jerry do the driving. Be better for my piece of mind." The sound of her laughter drew his eyes back to her and he laughed outright when he saw her raised middle finger. "That's not very ladylike," he chided in a teasing tone.

"That's good," she came back smartly. "I never claimed to be a lady." Carol smiled to hear him chuckle yet again and couldn't resist one last parting comment. "See you soon, Dixon."

"Yes, you will," he assured her without breaking stride. "Count on it."

She dropped her eyes to the dusty toes of her boots and blinked back a sudden sting of tears. Such a silly thing to get worked up about, she couldn't help but think as she made her way to the truck. His parting words…count on it….they rang in her ears with every step she took. "I always do," she answered even though he couldn't hear her. It didn't matter though. He already knew.