Title: Absolutely, POSSITIVELY, Don't Go to Sleep!
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairings: It Varies
Chapter 1
"I believe that some of us may have lost our touch." Kyoya said seriously. It was a meeting for the Host Club rather than a hosting day, and they were to decide what they would do next. "Our natural flair and ability to host is losing it's luster. Am I right?" he looked at them so that his eyes showed rather than the shine of his glasses.
"So…" Kaoru said.
"If we're not doing so great, what should we do?" Hikaru asked.
"What are we doing wrong, Kyo-chan?" Honey asked innocently, hugging his bunny Usa-chan closer to him.
"Yeah." Mori said.
"I don't see any problems with the way we're hosting. Nothing's changed." Haruhi said.
"It's not that I think our club needs to fix its ways, but our sales are steady. We don't have any new customers coming in, and our club's spending money is low and doesn't go up. So, I have asked Tamaki what he thinks we should do. Tamaki?" he gave the king his queue to begin, and the blonde halfer stood up.
"I believe that our hosting skills would be greatly improved if we all spent more time together. We must improve our relationships at home and amongst ourselves to be able to form relationships while providing our services to the lovely ladies ho come to see us, seeking solace in our beauty and ever-lasting kindness. I want us to work together to come up with a plan so that we can start becoming closer starting this very moment! Who has a plan?"
It were as though crickets appeared out of nowhere. Everybody was quiet.
"Hey! Say something, darn it! I worked hard on that speech!" Tamaki complained.
"We could go to an amusement park with the guests, but only take those who pay the most! It could be like an auction! Or some sort of host-bidding type thing!" Honey suggested. "And then, the next time we go, we take those who haven't been, yet!"
"I like the sound of that. That could dramatically raise the club's budget." Kyoya said.
"We should wok on our relationships within the club before bringing guests into it. Otherwise, they'll expect us to take them on even more trips… and that would cost ten times more." Tamaki said.
"Plus, the girls would end up crying if they didn't get to go." Haruhi said.
"A lot" the twins agreed.
"We could raise the budget by taking high-quality photos, perhaps. The ladies very much enjoy owning photos of our Host Club. Doing that would keep us from having to work as hard." Kyoya suggested.
"We could stick Haruhi in many frilly dresses." Hikaru said deviously.
"And skimpy bathing suits." Kaoru said just as deviously.
"No! No way!" Haruhi covered her chest as though she had been exposed.
"N-no! That's indecent! No lady should ever show that much skin before her wedding day!"
"You'd be fine with it if you were the only one looking at her." The twins said, rolling their eyes. Tamaki blushed and argued some more with them, trying to justify himself. Haruhi sat in her chair grumbling to herself about 'damn rich people', and Honey wandered away to get some more cake.
"Well, if that's how you feel about it, why not hosting at night?" the twins suggested in perfect unison.
"…What?" Tamaki asked.
"We could stay together into the night," Kaoru started.
"And host more people for longer." Hikaru said.
"And we could all become closer," Kaoru continued.
"Because we're together forever!" they said together.
"Hmm… this doesn't seem like a bad idea. I don't think I mind it." Kyoya said, writing something down.
"It… It could be like…" Tamaki looked bewildered. Then, all of a sudden, he switched from being confused to being extremely happy. "It would be like a slumber party! Without all the sleeping! Oh, don't you see? We would bond as a family and become the perfect hosts! Oh, how wonderful!" he glomped Haruhi.
"Oh, but there's on condition." The twins said, smirking.
"Huh? And what's that?" the king asked.
"Absouletly," the eldest said.
"POSSITIVELY," the youngest continued.
"Don't go to sleep!" they finished together.
And so it began.