As much as she tried to contain it, hardly anything could stop the tears from passing down her eyes. Her efforts to fight back the large ones worked to an extent, but only to make her normally pale face red and puffy, and her strained eyes nearly bloodshot.
There had to be absolutely nothing flattering about her appearance, she thought. And although there was no more than a handful of people in her area of the subway; it was still humiliating for someone such as herself to be sniffling publically.
Her left hand clutched end of her dress. What a waste of an outfit, and what an outfit to be out and about in this time of the night, she thought. The purple, long sleeve, lace overtop a-line dress did nothing to protect her from the chilly weather, even within the protection of the subway. Save for her tights that protected her from her otherwise exposed knees and below.
She struggled to try not to be the only sound amongst the rumbling of the subway, however difficult that may be even though she sat at the very end of the car. She glanced at her surroundings to make sure no one could see her in such a disgraceful appearance.
Her only companions sat a woman in the row across from her a few chairs down to the left. Seemingly coming from an office, the woman sat stone-faced in a business suit with long blond, clutching her tan pea coat in her left hand while she balanced her laptop on her knees. Sitting just a couples seats down the woman's right was a young man, lying on his side after having seemingly just coming from a late shift at an ice cream parlor, given the way he was dressed. He appeared to be sound asleep, clutching his bag to his chest.
Across from him sat two elderly women, one of which who also seemed sound asleep, though sitting upright, and the other who read from a large book beside her. A seat away from the elderly woman sat what appeared to be a young man, though his face was covered by a red scarf and black leather coat and he sat slouched into his seat, his legs out, one hand in his pocket and the other holding the phone he stared at while orange and black headphones blocked the world out. Directly across from him sat another much older man, though clear to see and hefty, wearing sweats and sitting somewhat awkwardly while he ate from a bag of chips.
What bothered her most though and what made her desperate to keep quiet and her face away from the other patrons were the two girls who stood upright, holding the subway straps even though there were many seats to choose from. The girls talked quietly amongst themselves and often giggled, facing her direction. She recognized their red and purple hair as both stood dressed ready to brace the city. Karin and Ami. If they recognized her they were sure to give her hell come Monday morning. That is if she ever made it home.
Her phone shined repeatedly, though silenced, she knew the unrelenting light meant continuous text messages and phone calls.
Hina, what's up why'd you bail so soon?
Hinata! Are you okay? What happened?!
Hina call us back we're worried sick!
Hinata where did you go?! Are you alright?! WE NEED ANSWERS.
We're going crazy Hina, call or text or SOMETHING.
Hinata, please, come back so we can talk.
Most were restless messages from her best friends Sakura and Ino. Although she felt terrible that she hadn't stopped to talk to them before she rushed out, she couldn't have stomached staying there for more than a minute longer, and in her craze hardly even realized that she had left until she was gone.
She didn't dare open the message of the third person who tried to get her attention.
Hinata clutched the little trinket around her neck and nearly burst into tears again. She didn't even know why she was still wearing it. She wanted to rip it off and let the chain break into little pieces. But as much as she wanted to, she knew she didn't have the heart to. Still, it burned her skin to wear it. In the most delicate way possible, she unclasped it from behind and removed it from her neck.
She stared down to the necklace, for the first time she noticed that the chain was rusted and the tiny plastic purple heart in the middle had lost its bottom piece somewhere along the road. She wore it so often it never occurred to her that it would lose its color someday.
She remembered the day he'd given it to her, then, before she knew it, hot tears were seeping through her dress once more. She clutched the necklace in her palm and fought to her strong against her damaged heart, but seemed to fail as she had been.
Faintly, she heard whispering from the other side of the car.
"…Hyuga…" she heard faintly from one of the girls.
"…my gosh," she heard the end of a sentence come from what was clearly Karin's voice.
A few more words spilled between the girls before she realized they fought not to laugh. Her face burned red. Surely she looked a mess and surely they were going to come over and let her have it. If not now then when Monday rolled around so the whole school would know Hinata Hyuga was crying like a baby on the subway train at onw in the morning.
She wanted to crawl into a ball and die.
Thankfully, the possibility of the both of them coming to make a mockery of her would be postponed, as the train came to a halt. Both girls laughed their way off, followed behind by the woman in the business suit pushing her laptop into her bag and the boy who worked for an ice cream parlor who jolted awake and scampered out just before the doors could shut. Just one more person, a middle aged man in a button down and dress pants, as well as a black trench coat, came onto the subway just as it began to move again.
Hinata scanned the remaining members of the passenger car. She wished she were alone.
The old women sat unchanged and the tubby man in sweats had switched to a bag of assorted candies. The boy with his face covered sat slightly upright, but she barely noticed before her eyes accidentally met the eyes of the man who'd just stepped on.
She quickly looked away and turned to her side, using her thick, long, dark blue hair to hopefully cover her puffy face.
She should have stepped off at the last stop, but there was no way she could come off with Karin and Ami. Now, she was stuck for another sum of time, with no idea where she was going as the night grew darker. She didn't want to go home, Sakura and Ino were sure to meet her there, and she couldn't go back.
She would just go in circles if need be.
"This is all his fault."
Tears burned at her eyes. She chastised herself for being so weak and allowing herself to continue crying for him. Both hands clutched her dress and shook in pain with the shaking of the subway as she bit her salty lip to keep from crying out as they fell again and she continued, silently, to sit with a wet, puffed face as minutes passed on the unending ride. How foolish she had been. How childish. How—
"It's none of my business, really, but, a girl like you shouldn't really be sitting by herself crying this late at night, you know?"
Her head shot to her left amidst her tears. Her hair flew to the side as she looked wide eyed to the person who sat next to her.
The blonde boy with the red scarf around his neck sat just as slouched as he had been in his previous seat. His headphones were down to his neck and both hands held his phone as if he hadn't stopped looking at the bright screen. Hinata blinked furiously.
She hadn't even heard him come over or sit down.
Near instantly, she began rubbing her face in an attempt to clear the messiness of her runny mascara and blotchy features, though she knew her efforts were futile.
Finally, she gave in and clasped her hands in her lap, looking down.
"E-excuse me…I…I-I don't mean to be rude but…I-I would very much…like to be alone."
The boy didn't say anything for a moment, before he spoke up again.
"Yeah, sorry but—" he turned to her with bright blue eyes and smiled a wide toothed smile as she looked up to him.
"I'd never be able to forgive myself if I didn't help a pretty girl who was crying!"
She wasn't sure if she could get any redder than her face already was, but she did feel herself blush a bit at the sparkle in his smile. Though, it quickly passed and she frowned and looked down again.
"T-that's sweet of you..but really…I would just prefer to…to be on my own."
His smile turned into a half smile as he turned and looked directly ahead of himself, his smile fading a little bit as his voice became serious and turned into something of a whisper.
"Listen, I really don't mean to invade your privacy, but—"
She slightly looked up.
"That man over there, the one in the coat," he said seriously. Hinata blinked a few times.
"He's been staring at you since he got on."
Her bloodshot eyes widened a bit and she stole a quick glance over to the man. One quick glance was all she needed to see that he was in fact staring at her through a terrible attempt at trying to seem like he wasn't.
She sat facing front and clasped her hands together, both shaking a bit.
"It was obvious that he wanted to come over here," the boy continued seriously, "so—" he turned back to her with a cheeky half smile.
"Thought I'd beat him to the punch!"
She barely heard him, she was shaking a bit, unsure of what she would do if the man came over and attempted to make a pass at her. It was foolish of her to be alone in a subway so late into the night, and though her martial arts skills were up to par, she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to protect herself alone in such a weakened state.
Suddenly, a wave came over her as a soft hand met her shaking ones. The warm palm of the hand calmed her cold, shaking fingers. She looked up again and her heart nearly skipped a beat.
The boy stared directly at her.
Her mind told her to remove her hand, quickly, as he had no right to be touching her. But, she could not.
"Just roll with it," she finally heard him say. "Look…he's sorta backing off…"
She quickly glanced to the man to see the annoyance on his face as he kept quickly stealing glances to the both of them while trying to seem as if he was deeply focused on his phone.
"Don't worry," the boy said the moment Hinata's eyes met his again.
"I'll protect you."
"I'll sit with you until he gets off."
She could've sworn she heard the former.
The subway stopped again and the tubby man stepped off, followed by the two elderly woman. No one else stepped on, leaving only the three.
The boy didn't remove his hand as they sat facing away front. Hinata yelled at herself to tear her hand away, but the action was clearly pushing the man back, and better he stay away than for there to be a scuffle.
There was a stalk silence of the three individuals. The man kept to himself and the boy, with one hand, chuckled at a game he played on his phone. The sound of the subway seemed deafening upon Hinata's ears.
Finally, after a few minutes, they reached another stop and the man quickly stepped off. No one followed after him.
The two were left.
The moment the man stepped off, the boy removed his hand and blew out a deep breath.
"Whoo! It's about time! What a creep am a right?!" he laughed and sat somewhat upright, putting his hands behind his head. "Guys like that are always riding the subway looking for someone to mess with. It's disgusting, you know?" He tsked.
Hinata said nothing.
"I'm sorry to get in your space like that," he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "It was obvious you didn't want to be bothered, so I didn't want that guy coming to harass you."
Still, she said nothing.
His smile became lax, "well, I'm sure you're okay now, so I'll move to the next car and give you your space."
He began to stand upright to move away but stopped in his tracks when a hand caught onto his right hand.
Shocked, he looked down to her, shaking as she her hand remained clasped onto his.
She looked up to him, powerful tears running down her eyes, this time, she did not try to hide.
"P-please…" she whimpered painfully.
"I-I don't want to be alone…"
Immediately, he sat back down next to her. Without a thought to what she was doing she held her face in her hands and released all the pent up emotion within her, not caring to save face, not caring to be strong in the face of a stranger.
He said nothing as she tried her eyes out, rubbing her face repeatedly even though more tears flowed after another. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, she was better than this. But her heart cried out and longed for her emotions to be released. Her tears flowed for so long that she momentarily forgot someone was next to her. All the anger, pain, and betrayal bottled within her had overwhelmed her to such a point.
She had no idea how much time had passed before she finally calmed down. She felt somewhat of a release as she tried to clean her face. A slight peace washed over her. She needed that.
"Here."
She shot up again, finally remembering that there was someone beside her, then remembering that she had asked that person to stay beside her.
The blonde boy held out a small packet of tissues. She blinked a few times, looking down to it as if it was a strange object.
"I-I can't."
"It's okay," he laughed, "take it. My old lady always has me carry these, especially when it's cold out like it's been lately."
Hinata produced a faint smile before gently taking it into her hands. She clutched it.
"Thank you."
"No problem!"
She hung her head, clutching it more.
"This is so embarrassing…I…I must look so pathetic to you…crying in front of a stranger…on the subway." She bit her lip, burning red.
He sat back and put his hands behind his head.
"Nah, not at all. You had to cry and you couldn't make it home. Not everyone can keep things bottled up for forever. I could see for the longest time that you were trying not to explode. You're stronger for making it this far, I think," he shrugged.
She turned to him, "y-you…you noticed?"
He nodded and stared up to the subway ceiling. His face lifted from his thick red scarf. For the first time Hinata noticed his face, especially so, the whiskers on each cheek.
"Yeah, but I didn't want to be a weirdo and ask you what was up. Everybody's got their own thing they're dealing with and sometimes you have to respect that. I was gonna say something, though, when those two girls started looking at you and saying stuff."
Hinata sighed.
So she was definitely going to get reamed on Monday.
"Hinata, is that your name?"
She clutched the tissue and nodded a bit. "Y-yes…"
Clearly he had collected that from Karin and Ami's nosiness.
"Seemed like a more than one person wanted to give you hell," he tsked.
She shrugged a bit, "I'm…used to it."
She sat upright a bit, "um…thank you…by the way…for helping me out with that man."
He waved his hand nonchalantly, "I didn't do much. I'm sure you could've dealt with it yourself if you needed to. I just thought I'd save you the trouble."
"How…do you figure?"
"Well, if you've got it in you to hold back your emotions like that, I'm sure you're holding back other things," he laughed a bit.
She frowned a bit and said nothing for a moment.
"Oh!" she said suddenly, "I-I…I didn't get your name."
She was taken back a bit when he turned to her and face her a smile that seemed to light up the entire car.
"The name's Naruto!"
She sat upright. "Nice to meet you…Naruto."
He nodded to her and sat back again, looking at her.
"So…Hinata…do you mind if I ask where the tears are coming from? And why you're riding the subway up and down so late?"
Hinata's features dropped as she turned to face the opposite seats again, her head hung a bit, though not completely.
"You don't have to tell me. Your business is your business," he reassured her, "and I'm about as much a stranger as a stranger comes."
He was right about that.
Although, Hinata realized that she had, for a moment, completely forgotten why she was crying and how she ended up on the subway.
She glanced to her small purple bag which sat on her right hip. Her phone hadn't stopped shining with text messages and missed calls.
As soon as she began to remember her eyes glistened once more.
"Whoa! Hey! I'm sorry I shouldn't have said a thing!" Naruto said quickly, sitting upright.
"No…no," Hinata said almost immediately. "It's just…m-my friends…they don't even know."
Naruto frowned, "whatever it is you should tell your friends, especially if you're hurting. If you haven't told them there's no way you should say anything to m—"
"I caught my boyfriend…in bed with someone else."
She said it so suddenly it didn't even register that she had said it. But, she was hurting so much that it seemed as if she was saying it out loud to say it to herself. To make herself understand that it had happened. It had just happened. And it was real.
Naruto said nothing.
"I was invited to a party. My friends Sakura and Ino begged me to go…but I didn't want to go unless he went. Initially he didn't want to…Toneri hates parties…but I convinced him."
The words seemed to come out lacking her control. Naruto sat back.
"I was so excited…I spent hours looking for an outfit." she said in a whisper.
"We went…but the entire time...he just complained…he refused to do anything. I had to sit with him while my friends had fun...laughing…dancing." She said, recollecting.
"At some point he wandered off, and I…I went looking for him. I went upstairs…checked in every room…and at the last one…there he was…" she began to shake. Inklings of tears began.
"With the host."
Her hands shook uncontrollably.
"I ran out without thinking…the next thing I knew…I was on here."
Her tears appeared almost angry at this point.
"I-I don't know where I'm going…I-I'm lost…and it's late…and it's a-all because of him!"
Naruto watched as an anger that seemed unbefitting to her took over.
"A-and t-this isn't the first time! H-he's done it before! And I forgave. I forgave because I-I loved him!" she cried out.
"I loved him! N-no matter how many times he yelled! H-how many times he stopped be from seeing my friends! N-no matter how many times he made me feel worthless, I loved him and he did nothing but throw it back in my face!" she yelled aloud.
"I did everything and he treated me like trash! It's not fair!" she cried out to nothing.
"I-it's not fair…" she whimpered.
Her whimpering continued. All the sheltered pain came out at once. There was no point in hiding how she felt any longer.
"I've pushed as far as I can…" she whispered, "I can't go any farther…"
"Who says you gotta?"
She opened her eyes halfway. There was a calming warmth wrapped around her.
She didn't remember falling into his arms.
She a moment, she took in the soft scent of his leather jacket and allowed herself to, momentarily, feel calm against his chest, covered by his white t-shirt. Even the red scarf fell partially around her neck.
Quickly still, she sat upright.
"I'm so sorry!" she said, bowing her head. "I don't know why I keep touching you like that! My sincerest apologies." She said formally.
"Hey no big deal!" he laughed, one hand scratching the back of his head and the other waving.
"But..it is," she said sadly, "it's wrong of me to be here, having an outburst such as this. I was raised better than this. But it's as if I can't help myself."
"I think you just needed someone to let go to."
She turned to him, confused.
He shrugged, "you didn't wanna bother your friends, and you couldn't yell at your boyfriend, and it's obvious you didn't wanna go home and have anyone see you upset, so you didn't have to burden anyone. But we just met, we don't know a thing about each other. Hell, we'll probably never each other again. But that makes it easier, you know?"
Hinata looked awestruck at this guy she'd just met. He slouched down, his long legs in dark wash jeans touching halfway across the subway.
"But you don't need me to tell you that you're going to be okay," he continued, "and you don't need anyone else. You already know that, as time passes, it'll be like this never happened."
He looked up, "you'll meet someone new, better. Or you won't. who knows? But as long as you're the you that you need to be, that's all that matters."
Hinata blinked rapidly. She was completely stunned. It was not at all the response she thought she would get, if any, from this strange person.
"You…" she finally spoke, "you seem to be well adjusted to something like this," she spoke softly.
He shrugged, "eh, you get around. Heartbreak is heartbreak. But you were pulled out because you would never do it on your own. That's what sucks. But hey—"
He turned to her. She turned to him.
"You're past the hardest step, now you're on your way!" he said cheekily.
She gracefully sat up and smiled a bit softly.
"T-this must be a strange night for you," she said shyly.
"I've had weirder."
"You must be a long way from home."
"Sorta, I was supposed to get off with those old ladies."
"T-that's so far back!" she said suddenly.
"Eh, it's no sweat. I like riding the train this late. Makes you feel like you're going everywhere, but nowhere. Plus—"
His shiny blue eyes met her purple ones.
"I rarely find something special."
This time, she knew the red on her cheeks wasn't coming from her tears.
She looked down, pushing her dark hair behind her ear.
"Besides!" he said, stretching, "keeps me from having to come home to do dishes!" he laughed cockily.
Hinata couldn't help the giggle that escaped her.
"You're cold, right?"
She frowned. She was in fact. In her haste her coat and gloves were left behind.
"I'm fine," she reassured him.
Her words fell on deaf ears as he had already taken off his long red scarf and began to remove his coat.
"N-no!" she said nervously, "it's really fine! Y-you'll just be cold!"
He seemed to continue to do things without her realizing they had been done, as before she knew it, the scarf was neatly wrapped around her neck.
"It's so soft."
It was so thick that it covered up to her nose when wrapped around her.
She stopped him from completely taking off his jacket. he looked up to her.
"Please…the scarf is fine," she smiled sadly, "you'll just be cold too."
He smiled a bit and put his jacket back on.
The two sat in silence for a long while. It was still a bit before the next stop and as late as it was there may be hardly anyone else climbing on to join them. It had been a long night.
Hinata slouched in her seat a bit, meeting Naruto's shoulder. She was completely exhausted from her initial running to the subway then all the painful crying that followed. Her eyes were weary and dry. The scarf calmed her. It smelled of sweetness and gave her the warmth of sitting by the fire.
She rested her head upon Naruto's shoulder. He did not resist it. She was a long ways away from her stop, as was he was his initial stop. Surely, he was tired from riding for so long.
"I'm not very ready to go home yet."
"That's okay."
"Can I pretend this is okay…?"
"It is okay."
"Can I be strange for a night…?"
"Nothing wrong with that…everyone needs a shoulder once in a while. Wherever they can get it."
Her eyes began to weaken.
"Thank you…Naruto."
"Welcome, Hinata."
"I…I'll be okay."
"You will."
"I'm going to love myself…" she whispered. "Then someday…someone will love me…the right way…the way I'm supposed to be loved."
She could've sworn she heard him say something further, but she couldn't make anything of it as the subway pushed on with its two passengers well into the night.
(A.H. Will Return Soon)