Igole! Igole, heel, boy. Come back here, come on. What's... what have you found, eh? Not dangerous, I hope? Come here.
Whew. Down, Igole. Let's see what you've caught. That much of a treasure, huh? Is it a dead fish? You know what the missus thinks on the subject of these... a-ha! Should have watched me, boy. Come on, stop growling.
Well, now. Pretty. Wonder how it got here. Hush, boy. Let me...
revengetoosmartforowngoodknowledgeseekerirresponsibleunthinkingnoideahowluckyheis
Ow! Have you seen that? Guess we'd better keep this cube away from small hands. Curiosity- but I'm being silly. It must have been friction, it's just statically charged. I'm sure it's nothing dangerous.
But definitely worth researching.
A couple of years later
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, why are we going in there, into this water, yuck!"
"Quit your whining, Freya. All the world is soaked through now."
"Not all, ick! You just insist on going where it's still a swamp, a muddy swamp. With seaweed, yeew..."
"My dear, one searches for apis under an api tree and for treasure in a temple. Those half flooded ones are best. Less competition."
"Ooh, I look like a wet gobbal! There's goop in my fur, yuck... aah! You vile, terrible aboon! You dragoturkey! You're laughing? Take that! Take that for my poor fur, and that! That'll teach you to push women into mud! Take that! Stop cackling, you-!"
"Sorry, sorry... you're better than a jester, though. Hey!"
"You're a vile man, Hyperion. I'll give you that in writing."
"I'll frame it and hang it in the ballroom. Tell you what, let's try this hall."
"The most seaweed-filled one? Are you out of your mind? Hey!"
"Smells good to me."
"Smells rotten to me. We should have stayed in Bonta."
"And fight tooth and nail for my inheritance? No, thank you."
"Staircase. Look, a staircase! Maybe it leads somewhere dry."
"Don't think so. Hey, kitty, you've got a sixth sense and no mistake."
"It's a pearl?"
"Better. See the size of this thing? Kamas against filberts it's a real dofus."
"You're never gonna sell it."
"Sell it or not, I'll gain something. A dofus is a smile of the gods."
Two centuries later
"Root beer! Buy my root beer! Best beer in Bonta!"
"Buy my beer! I'm the official supplier of the Promachid parties! Our richest patricians can't be wrong!"
"Our richest patricians don't buy on market stands, Meunier."
"What do you know, merchant of gobbal piss?"
"What do I know? What? If I surprise you, I'll drink an entire mug of that wodent-poison you're selling, deal?"
"No way. No free beer for you."
"I wouldn't take this poor excuse of yours if you paid me. All I'm trying to do is show you that the Promachids know even less about you than you know about them."
"You're welcome to try. But if you tell me anything I haven't known before, you'll move your stand and stop yelling into my ear."
"Not gonna happen. You move."
"You just don't have anything new to say. Weak bluff, pal."
"All right, listen. The Promachids used to have a dofus in their ballroom, a real one, certified by Crespin."
"And that's the surprise? Everyone knows that."
"What they don't know is the dofus hatched."
"What?"
"Hatched! Split right in half, in the middle of a party."
"And, I suppose, a dragon came out. After, lessee, two hundred years? They've had this dofus ever since the Flood."
"A dragon, and..."
"And what?"
"A baby."
"A baby? You want me to believe this? Heh! That's rubbish. Just admit it, you lost."
"One of their sadida servants told me, a real honest baby-"
"Move your stand."
"Meunier!"
"Move, or I'll tell the head of the guards you let your chickens perch over the vats."
"Wait till I tell him something!"
Author's note: I swear there are going to be descriptions later on :). Also - to get rid of my paralysing perfectionism I've decided to send this story to you as I write it. It's fully planned (I know, more or less, what happens next), but not written in advance like my previous stories were. I am painting myself into a corner, which is sometimes the best course of action, and hoping not to stick to the paint. But if there's a long hiatus - you'll know why.