Okay.. here is my first song fic.. kind of angst at first but the end is nice. A bit of shounen ai.. So you have been warned... The song kind of has a special meaning and depth to me but when listening to it last night I thought of this and how much it could be applied to Malik. If anyone has done something like this then I am sorry, don't want to step on any toes! Anyway.. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own. Not the characters not the song. Guess just not that lucky!

I sat on my bed watching the shadows from the tree outside my window dancing on my ceiling and walls. 'Why did we have to come back? Why now, so soon after all that happened?' I knew why, my sister's job that was simple enough. The museum called, something about the exhibit and so we were on the next flight over, well we as in Isis and myself, Rashid had to stay in Egypt watching over a new dig site. The sun was setting some part of my brain told me as I watched my white walls bathed in the red light.

"Malik, get some sleep tonight! I have to work tomorrow and I don't want you staying in your room all day!"

I sighed and rolled over wondering why she would care, she didn't have the guilt to deal with.

ALL DAY STARING AT THE CEILING MAKING

FRIENDS WITH SHADOWS ON MY WALL

ALL NIGHT

I'M HEARING VOICES TELLING ME

THAT I SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP

BECAUSE TOMORROW MIGHT BE GOOD

FOR SOMETHING

It still plagued me, still haunted my nightmares. All the things my dark half did, all the people he hurt. I feared his return as I feared nothing else in my life. I knew the Pharaoh had banished him, but then rumors also said he had banished Bakura's dark half as well but I knew firsthand that he was still there.

HOLD ON

I'M FEELING LIKE I'M HEADED FOR A

BREAKDOWN

I DON'T KNOW WHY

I wake up covered in sweat again, another night of nightmares. I just wish sometimes it would end, all this pain caused by memories but I'm not stupid enough to take my own life. I don't know if its that I'm not that much of a coward or if I am too much of a coward, I try to tell myself it's the latter.

I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL

I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU CAN'T TELL

BUT STAY AWHILE AND MAYBE THEN YOU'LL SEE

A DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME

I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE IMPAIRED

I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T CARE

BUT SOON ENOUGH YOU'RE GONNA THINK OF ME

AND HOW I USED TO BE

Isis has already left for work, I'm thankful for that as I take my shower and get dressed. Her eyes haunt me, always so much sorrow and hope. I know she thinks that one day I will suddenly be better, that one day I will be back to the way I was before all this started. I just don't know. I don't think I can, I mean, I think I have even forgotten how to smile it has been so long. Yeah I smirked a lot when my other half was in control but a real smile, that has been years.

I try to choke down some cereal and give up the fight before I am half done. I know I am only getting thinner, too thin according to Rashid and Isis, but I just can't seem to eat anymore. Every time I try my stomach just knots up. I guess one more penance for my actions, but I will pay it. I grab my keys and head for the door hoping that maybe some fresh air will help, take in a bit of the city.

I get to the ticket counter and buy a day pass. I wasn't sure where I was going just that I was. The subways here always reminded me of the trains in Egypt, only here you don't get to see the scenery, just endless tunnels. Great choice for "fresh air", ne? But at least here no one bothers me, look at me oddly yes but no one actually says anything. I suppose some Egyptian kid wearing this much jewelry and babbling to himself about where to go would seem a bit odd but I only shrug it off. What do they know, they never tried to take over the world.

SEE ME

TALKING TO MYSELF IN PUBLIC

AND DODGING GLANCES ON THE TRAIN

I KNOW

I KNOW THEY'VE ALL BEEN TALKING 'BOUT ME

I CAN HEAR THEM WHISPER

AND IT MAKES ME THINK THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG

WITH ME

I get off the train now, they were staring too much. I look around but really have no idea where I am at so picking a random direction I start walking. A park comes into view up ahead, I always found it amusing how this city so intent on using space sparingly and technology but then they have these parks taking up so much of that space. After the desert I suppose I shouldn't complain, I mean, it is lush and beautiful. I wander about for awhile I think maybe this self inflicted isolation is driving me more towards insanity than the memories. Suddenly I hear something that snaps me quickly into reality and I duck into the shade under a tree where I hope I won't be noticed.

"Hey Yug! Toss it over here! I'm open!"

A game of football I think. They all look so happy, so at peace and here I sit in the shade of some tree watching them. Wishing somehow I could join them, I could have a friend, even one that nice. I suppose just someone to help me feel like maybe I'm not slipping into insanity.

OUT OF ALL THE HOURS THINKING

SOMEHOW

I'VE LOST MY MIND

Suddenly the sun that had been slowly creeping up on me is blocked. I look up to see what now would happen or who would be the cause, perhaps one of Yugi-tachi has come over, no doubt to remind me I shouldn't even be alive after what I have done. Looking up all I see at first is a shadow but this halo of white seems to surround it. Slowly my eyes adjust making out two doe brown eyes and a sweet yet sad smile. I know my confusion shows clearly on my face, I can't help it. I never expected this person to come up to me much less want to be within 5 city blocks of me, not after what I put him through. But he just keeps standing there smiling looking so angelic it takes my breath away. Suddenly he holds something out and my eyes are torn away from his face and down to his hands. An ice cream?! For me? And chocolate no less, my favorite. But why?

"F-for me?" I can't help the stutter, I'm barely past speechless. And then he takes me back to speechless as I hear his soft accented voice.

"Hai, do you not like chocolate?"

Suddenly his eyes look so sad, as though he had let me down somehow, I'm just so shocked so numbly I take the offered cone and he sits down.

"I love chocolate." Its all I can say really, and even that is barely above a whisper though I can't force myself to look him in the eye again. He sits down next to me on the grass, I tense, I didn't mean to but I still wasn't sure what he wanted but he just sits there licking his own ice cream and watching the group play ball. We sit there for awhile, I'm not sure how long, it feels as though time stopped for me, we had finished our cold treats and just sat. Until that is once again his soft voice cuts through the air, I wonder slightly how anyone could have such a soft and melodic voice.

"you know, sometimes we are just a little unwell. But we can get better."

He smiles at me again, smiles that soft angelic smile and its like his eyes can see right to my soul. And see the good buried deep, the pain I feel, see all of me and yet not shy away. His eyes leaving me feeling this odd sense of hope, of peace, something I don't think I have felt before. That is when the miracle happened, for me it was anyways. Looking into those eyes I couldn't help it, I smiled, I genuinely smiled and it felt wonderful.

"Yes, I think we can." I don't know what else to reply but it seems I said the right thing because he shocked me even more as he laid his head upon my shoulder and turned back to watch Yugi-tachi. I sighed deeply and wrapped my arm around his waist hugging him softly, heart soaring when he didn't pull away, he didn't even flinch. He melted against me and sighed. We sat like that just holding each other as the sun set and then I walked him home. I couldn't stop smiling after that and I knew tomorrow when I met him again at the park I would only have more reason to smile. I looked a fool, I know it but I could care less.

"Yes, we can get better."

Fin!

Well this was my first one shot and song fic, I hope it is at least passable! So as usual please R&R!!