Title: Fallen
Author: silverthorned
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, creator.
Category: Spike/Buffy
Summary: Spoilers "Smashed". How the mighty have fallen.
*
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.
--Inferno, Dante Alighieri
*
Lucifer fell with a blaze of light.
Adam fell with a single bite.
I fell with lying kisses from a slip of a girl.
I can see so many ways it will end.
On my knees, with a stake through my heart.
The look of peace on her face, as her breath leaves her body,
squeezed and crushed by my hands.
Leaving, like my grandsire, breaking her heart, as I know I
would.
That, after all, is why she lies to me, why she hides behind
sneers and accusations. She fights to guard her walls. I fight
to break them down. If that's the only language she will speak,
then I'll bloody well reply in it. Sticks and stones to break
our bones, and words that tear and shred our hearts apart. It's
the only way we understand each other.
So her words, with venom, spew from her mouth. Each one, laden
with her hate that eats a bit deeper, searing everything in its
path, and yes, I love the pain, because I love her, and because I
love her, I come back for more.
Her fists communicate the only love she will ever feel for me. I
can love as well as she. So I cuff her across her face and pull
her up, following quick with the verbal jab, "I wasn't planning
on hurting you--much."
She spits back, "You haven't even come close to hurting me."
She's talking about more than just our battle. I fire back,
"Afraid to give me the chance?" She tosses me against the wall
and I flail for a moment until she lifts me up.
I don't stop for a second.
"Afraid I'm gonna--"
'Reach into your heart, make a place there for myself? See that
you can't deny I'm the only one who can know you, understand you?
Love you until you forget you've ever been hurt, even by me?'
Her mouth, bruising mine, erases all the words I could have said.
My desire flares immediately, incinerating all sensible thought.
The world narrows to the feel of her blazing mouth. Dimly, I
am aware of the house crashing down around us, but all I can
think is 'more, give me more'. Make me forget that this is
wrong, that this is not what we need. This is a fire that
annihilates, not one that heals. She is my heaven and my hell
and her fire burns us both.
Maybe if I keep my eyes closed, I won't see the end.
I can't.
I open my eyes and everything I've ever known, ever felt, comes
down to one revelation.
I'm damned.
Just like Lucifer.
Just like Adam.
Not for the hundreds I have drunk, not for the cruelties I have
inflicted, not even by this cursed chip in my head. No, I have
been damned by my love for one girl.
Our damnation is swift and sure and plotted in an instant of
liquid heat and as she gives herself to me, even just in body, in
lust and not love, my hope has fled.
So this is the gate to hell, buried deep within a girl who will
never love me.
We fall. We are the fallen. Fallen angel, fallen demon.
We burn for our sins.
End.
Author: silverthorned
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, creator.
Category: Spike/Buffy
Summary: Spoilers "Smashed". How the mighty have fallen.
*
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.
--Inferno, Dante Alighieri
*
Lucifer fell with a blaze of light.
Adam fell with a single bite.
I fell with lying kisses from a slip of a girl.
I can see so many ways it will end.
On my knees, with a stake through my heart.
The look of peace on her face, as her breath leaves her body,
squeezed and crushed by my hands.
Leaving, like my grandsire, breaking her heart, as I know I
would.
That, after all, is why she lies to me, why she hides behind
sneers and accusations. She fights to guard her walls. I fight
to break them down. If that's the only language she will speak,
then I'll bloody well reply in it. Sticks and stones to break
our bones, and words that tear and shred our hearts apart. It's
the only way we understand each other.
So her words, with venom, spew from her mouth. Each one, laden
with her hate that eats a bit deeper, searing everything in its
path, and yes, I love the pain, because I love her, and because I
love her, I come back for more.
Her fists communicate the only love she will ever feel for me. I
can love as well as she. So I cuff her across her face and pull
her up, following quick with the verbal jab, "I wasn't planning
on hurting you--much."
She spits back, "You haven't even come close to hurting me."
She's talking about more than just our battle. I fire back,
"Afraid to give me the chance?" She tosses me against the wall
and I flail for a moment until she lifts me up.
I don't stop for a second.
"Afraid I'm gonna--"
'Reach into your heart, make a place there for myself? See that
you can't deny I'm the only one who can know you, understand you?
Love you until you forget you've ever been hurt, even by me?'
Her mouth, bruising mine, erases all the words I could have said.
My desire flares immediately, incinerating all sensible thought.
The world narrows to the feel of her blazing mouth. Dimly, I
am aware of the house crashing down around us, but all I can
think is 'more, give me more'. Make me forget that this is
wrong, that this is not what we need. This is a fire that
annihilates, not one that heals. She is my heaven and my hell
and her fire burns us both.
Maybe if I keep my eyes closed, I won't see the end.
I can't.
I open my eyes and everything I've ever known, ever felt, comes
down to one revelation.
I'm damned.
Just like Lucifer.
Just like Adam.
Not for the hundreds I have drunk, not for the cruelties I have
inflicted, not even by this cursed chip in my head. No, I have
been damned by my love for one girl.
Our damnation is swift and sure and plotted in an instant of
liquid heat and as she gives herself to me, even just in body, in
lust and not love, my hope has fled.
So this is the gate to hell, buried deep within a girl who will
never love me.
We fall. We are the fallen. Fallen angel, fallen demon.
We burn for our sins.
End.