Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. SO DON'T SUE ME PEOPLE!

Rated R for character death..blood,gore...some bad language…etc?

Hi! This is not exactly a story…but oh well!  Sorry Jenna…. if you're reading this…well I'm just going to apologize right now cuz..well…Harry dies lol :) muhahahahaha..I mean…yeah..uh.. ;)

P.S.S add a British accent when reading …it's fun..

P.S.S.S I HATE HARRY POTTER so yea no offense to ne 1 who likes HP. 

"Harry Potter…I sentence you to life in prison. AZKABAN PRISON!"

Harry Potter was an odd fellow and his friend Ron always knew that Harry would get himself in trouble one day.

"But I didn't do anything! I didn't kill Snape! It was suicide! He killed himself! I was on my way to get a burger with my friends when I saw Snape walking down the street. He was singing this song and he was in a pink tutu…Wait no he was…"

"Liar! Liar, liar, liar, liar…. LIAR!" The Jude screamed.

"I'm not lying you idio…your majesty…wait no um your…sigh I'm NOT LYING" Harry exclaimed. It seemed as though he was.

Ron stepped up and told the Judge he WAS lying and he saw the whole thing!

"Well sir, Snape…that poor old man…WAS walking down the street in a tutu. But not a pink one… A MULTI-COLERD ONE! Any who, he was walking and dancing and singing "marry had a little lamb" and then he tripped over a stone. Harry and I laughed. He heard and simply went a green color and one of his ugly moles exploded…meaning he was embarrassed of course. Then Snape challenged Harry to a battle using only Popsicle sticks as weapons! Harry accepted with great pleasure and grinned and evil grin…a grin like no other grin…an evil malicious grin…and then…He laughed muhahahaha quote, and um yes…"

"You imbecile, you're lying! Stop it! God damn it! You're my best friend! Why? WHY? Why do you torture me like this! I am an innocent, never-do-anything-wrong-ever-in-my-life-or-it-will-ruin-me type of guy!" Harry protested.

"Harry, please let me finish! Any way, after that horrible laugh, he went off to bye 100 popsicle sticks and to go sharpen them with his teeth…He then went to the magic shop and cheated, by using a protecting spell. Harry then went to the battle arena which was the flower shop." Ron continued.

"Well, then Harry what happened next?" Professor Dumbledore asked (judge).

"Well, um non of that is true, but I won't repeat myself. I will just end the story. Snape was feeling depressed when I got there at the flower shop, and told me he didn't want to live anymore. He said something about cheese and looked at me and made a puppy face. He asked me to…kill him, yet I protested and said that would be wrong. He then said he was going to go and commit suicide. But he chickened out and then said he would battle me another day." Harry explained.

"No, Harry that is not what happened. Harry, you and Snape battled and you lost! You got so pissed, you suddenly…well turned red and took out a powerful spell on him. You cast little leprechauns and elfs to go eat him alive! By the way that was..eww..anyway,he was then crying like a child screaming and begging for mercy, but you refused. Lets go back to the conversation you two had before the death of Snape…Snape…whatever his last name is…I CAUGHT IT ON TAPE!"

Ron took out his wand and waved it around. It took him a while to get the spell right and after a few bad words and a couple of swings at his head, he finally got it. A telly. The small telly was floating in mid air and he popped the tape in the VCR. The film began.

"Hello you Son of a bitch. You idiot think you are going to win this battle? Huh? Do yaw? Well you are not and I w…" ZAPP!

"Ouch that hurt!" Harry cried.

" Well I win. The battle is over.' Snap declared.

"No it isn't! Bastard! You cheated! You used magic instead of popsicle sticks!" Harry screamed.

"Well idiot, you used a protecting spell, which I must saw was pathetic considering it didn't work, coward." Snape laughed and mocked.

" Hey! Don't say such things! You meanie!"

"Oh lord! Lord Voldemort that is, please stop your whining!"

"Well Snape my friend, you must die! DIE bastard!"

The clip then showed Harry pulling his wand out and conjured up little elves and green leprechauns and ordered the beasts to eat the poor thing (snape) and so they did. It was a bloody cool scene with all the red splattered walls and snape now half covered with his flesh and half of him being shown inside out…cool…and his black heart was then thrown out of the way and Harry…eat it… first setting a camp fire and taking his banjo out signing camp fire songs and roasting the heart. In the end, nothing but blood was left and Harry collected the blood and drank it…cool…

"Oh my god!" Everyone was in shock.

"And that my friends is the true Harry potter! Lock him up now or else he will eat all of us!" Ron said.

"Harry potter smiled and took out the Popsicle sticks that he had bought and threw them at everyone killing them…except for Ron and Dumbledore. They survived. On purpose!

"Well Ron think you can get the innocent me in trouble. Hmpf. You were never my friend. Always using me for my growing popularity and all those books written about me. and all the merchandise little action figures and trading cards…and you were there just to bask in my glory. An extra wheel if you will. All you wanted is to be as rich and powerful as me. Jealousy. Always been jealous. Now it's to end that pain. The heat inside of you. The rage. All gone." Harry said dramatically.

"What a drama queen you are!" Ron said

"Huh? What? Any way, I will kill you slowly and painfully…I guess that would be the thing an evil fellow would do right? Is that right Dumbeldore?" Harry asked wit uncertainty.

"Sure!" Dumbledore said. Harry was just about to say a few magical words when BAM!

"Bloody hell!" Harry screamed with his last few breaths. Hermione had taken out a machine gun and killed potter.

"Oh my god Hermione. Were did you come from?" Ron asked.

"Oh I was just dropping by is all." Hermione said cheerfully.

"Good thing. Look you killed Potter. Good job!" Ron and Dumbledore said.

"What's that ticking sound…."?

KABOOM! Ron exploded.

"Oh well, we never liked him any way." Said Hermione.

They figured Harry had stuck a bomb on Ron before Harry died. Hmm…wait… wait…that meant…

KABOOM! Dumbledore exploded.

"Whatever." Hermione was now covered in blood and flesh. "I guess they'll all be seeing each other down there…"

20 years latter Hermione was in jail for the murder of Harry potter and then she committed suicide and well THE END! YAH!