Colored Blind another Red vs. Blue Tale
By MHM
Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue or Halo. So yeah…
Episode 1
(Out front of Blue Base)
Mastro: Role Call
McLaughlin: Why are you talking like that?
Mastro: This is my role call voice! I always talk like this for ROLE CALL!
Ford: Are you drunk?
Mastro: Maybe
(Pause)
Mastro: ROLE CALL!
Ford: Private First Class Ford! Sir!
McLaughlin: Private McLaughlin! Sir!
Jeff: Jeff
Mastro: Jeff? Who the hell is Jeff?
Jeff: I'm new, I just got sent here from Command. I don't want to be here.
Mastro: Your name is just "Jeff"? No rank?
Jeff: Nah, I enlisted to get away from my girlfriend.
McLaughlin: Mom
Jeff: You know what? Fuck you.
Mastro: So what's your first name Jeff?
Jeff: Jeff.
Mastro: Your name is Jeff Jeff? I see why you left home.
Jeff: No that's my first name.
Mastro: So what's your last name?
Jeff: Does it matter?
Mastro: I suppose not. But what is it?
Jeff: Why do you want to know?
Mastro: I wanna make sure you're not French. I will not stand for my soldiers surrendering to anyone that asks politely. This is Blue team. Our flag will remain blue I know how much them frenchies like white.
Jeff: Ya well I didn't fill out that part of the signup sheet.
Mastro: Ok "Jeff" welcome to BLUE TEAM!
Jeff: I'd say I'm glad to be here, but I'm not.
Ford: Oh we are not going to be friends.
Jeff: I'm sorry do I look like someone would give a flying fuck about your needs?
Ford: Well your cyan colored armor suggest your kinda a bitch so ya basically.
Jeff: Hmm we might be friends.
Ford: Score!
Mastro: Well I'll see you ladies in 0200 hours for mission debriefing. (Leaves)
McLaughlin: Your French aren't you?
Jeff: Oh ya 100%.
(At Red Base)
Fish Men gather round. I am planning an attack against the Blues
(Hollis with her hand raised/jumps up and down)
Fish: Yes Private Hollis what is it?
Hollis: You called us men
Fish: Ok?
Hollis: None of us are men
Fish: What about George?
George: My first name is not George
Fish: Really?
George: Yes really. What kind of idiot uses their first name in a war?
(Shows Jeff and Ford)
Jeff: Did you say something?
Ford: What no why?
Jeff: I thought someone was talking about me
Ford: Nope Jeff your crazy
(Back to Red Base)
Fish: So what's your first name?
George: Victoria. So yes we are ALL girls
Fish: Great just great
Smith: What is that supposed to mean?
Fish: Nothing absolutely nothing
Smith: Damn straight nothing.