It all started with some porn magazines and a towel...

"Fresh fish! Fresh fish! Straight from the Straight of Fanglebag sea!"

"Vegan shoes! Get your fresh vegan shoes!"

"Porn mags!"

"Eh what's that?"

"Porn magazines, sir,"

"I'll take three. No, these ones. Yeah. Thanks," he paid the stall holder a handful of small coins, and hurried on his way. He glanced at the back of his palm. Ah, he had ten minutes, but that was okay the space port was only round this corner...He looked up as he turned the corner, and whistled quietly. Udruxia XI's inter-stellar space port was an impressive sight. Slipping his newly acquired porn magazines into his satchel, he picked up the pace. It was nearly time, and he had to get at the port just before the ship left, so they couldn't argue with him. A little smirk played across his face as he went through the force field that was the invisible wall of the ground floor, and looked around in awe. No wonder The Guide recommended visiting Udruxia XI, even if you never left the port.

"What do you mean no!? The Guide-"

"Look, I don't care what the fucking guide says; you're not coming on the ship!"

"Fuck you! I'll take my hitch hiking ass elsewhere!"

"Good riddance to you, sir, I hope you choke on your own vomit," the robot added a contemptuous note to its vocal unit, hoping it would sting the man. It didn't, and he slinked off into the shadows of a nearby ship to glare angrily at the large inter-stellar commercial cruiser that had refused to allow him on. Whilst crouching in the shadow of the ship, he tried to decide what to do next. He watched the cruiser taxi out of the bay, towards the launching pad. Fuck them. Pulling out his towel, he rubbed his hands on it roughly to warm them up. It was freezing cold in the space port. Most people didn't stand in the parking bays. They teleported onto the ships from the gates. Obviously people didn't care to keep their ships at a comfortable temperature. It took a few minutes for the huge ship to taxi away from its parking bay, and he almost sat down where he was and went to sleep. But something caught his eye, and his interest. It never ceased to amaze him how - even in the extraordinary vastness that was the universe - you still bumped into people you knew. The smirk that made its debut earlier showed up again for an encore. Picking up his satchel which he'd put down to rest his shoulders, he ducked his head against the cold of the port and hurried towards the sleek, familiar ship.

The door of the small private craft opened. It closed again.

"Hey don't be like that sweetie!" he called out, banging on the door with his fist. It felt like it was getting colder, and he wanted to get off this godforsaken planet already.

"Go away! I told you to never come back! Get the hell out of my life!" screamed the woman who'd opened the door from inside.

"Oh come on! You can't possibly remember me!" he protested, his fist resting against the door.

"I do!" came the despairing reply.

"Well...Forgive me?!" he tried to put a pleading, maybe even desperate thread into his voice. But it ended up sounding sardonic.

"How can I?" The door had opened again, and a dishevelled looking woman stood glaring down at him. He smiled weakly.

"Can we just be friends?" he offered up, though not meekly.

"Are you still with-?"

"Oh yes, we're deeply, deeply in love," he drawled sarcastically, pulling his beloved towel from his satchel. He made a show of putting it round his neck as a scarf. Good lord it was cold. He tried to make himself look upset that she wouldn't let him in out of the cold, but he ended up looking stupid. He never had been a good actor.

"Go away Kol," she muttered, moving to shut the door again. He – who turns out to be called Kol, in case you were wondering – suddenly leapt into action, swinging up his satchel and then the rest of his body into the open door of the private craft. Kol landed on the floor at the girl's feet with a thump and a towel-muffled 'oof'.

"You're not bringing that thing on the ship!" the girl squealed, jumping back in fright. Kol sat up and scowled at the girl, clutching his towel.

"Put me in the brig, I don't mind!" he shouted dramatically. She pouted unsurely, wondering if he'd let her put him in handcuffs, gag him and hang him from the ceiling too.

"No. I already have a hitch hiker hiding in the cargo hold, I don't want two," she concluded. This sparked Kol's interest. Who else would want to hitch a ride on a little ship like this?

"...Would you let me keep him/her/it company?" he asked hopefully, pulling one of his several previously purchased porn magazines and waving it under the girl's nose. Her eyes followed it, fixed on the cover girl.

"Ngh...nh..nnhh..." she grunted, trying to form the word no "...Oh Zark! Fine!" Kol's face split into a huge, smug grin.

"Froody! I knew you'd cave eventually. Where's this other hooper then?" Kol asked, sounding very chipper. The girl snatched the magazine from his hands.

"The cargo hold. Down there and to the left," she snapped, pointing him in the right direction.

"Delightful! Uh...know his/her/its name?" Kol added, as an afterthought. Greeting strangers with their names was an excellent ice breaker.

"Ford Prefect," she muttered, already wandering towards the ship's bridge. Kol nodded thoughtfully, taking the hint and picking up his satchel and towel, and heading in the direction of the cargo hold.

Ah, it was nice to be on the metaphorical hyperspacial road again.

Ah um... I APOLOGIZE oAo

I have been absent from the community for a LOOOOOOONG time and any of you guys that watched me for my kingdom heart's fictions...well...sorry :'c

For new comers (or old fans who also like Hitch Hikers! :3), HI! I will be your host for this froody ride! I hope Kol and THE GIRL WHO I HAVE YET TO NAME will meld well into the HHGTTG universe, and I hope I get Ford right, because ilh! ;A;.

Ever wondered what became of everyone at the end of 'Mostly Harmless'? Well...okay they all died. But what if there was more to it than that?! Read on and find out ;D

Ly guys! ~

Reviews are like live Slipknot recordings to my ears!