Hello Saints and Sinners! CJzilla here with a sequal to one of my favorite stories! I recommend writing about insane people, especially everyone's favorite psychosis poster child: Joker. So, with an open doorway into my mind, I say onto you, the impressionable reader... "Enjoy".

Synopsis: Based on "The Batman" TV series and sequal to "Ain't It Funny". Little over a month after Joker substituted for his critically injured Bat Buddy, the Batman is back on his feet and closing in on Black Mask. In an attempt to distract the Caped Crusader, Black Mask arranges for a slow-activating lethal contagion to be administered to Joker. The Batman must find a Joker and a cure before the harlequin perishes and contaminates all of Gotham.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this...: Love... Hate... Review. I don't care...

AN: THIS IS NOT A YAOI OR SLASH FIC!!!

Disclaimer: CJzilla owns nothing of "The Batman" and any quote below...

" Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable."

Ambrose Bierce
1842-1914, American Author, Editor, Journalist, ''The Devil's Dictionary''

Infectious Laughter

Chapter 1

E-mails and Ivy

For a place of books and muse, the Gotham Municipal Library was anything but quiet. Over the laughing children enjoying an open reading, the hiss of air conditioners, the tapping of patrons using the library's free internet access and bookworms checking out their latest literature finds, there was hardly a silent spot in the building.

The library was crowded and with so many people accessing the internet through its massive modem, it was controlled chaos. But it was a perfect untraceable platform for someone not wanting to be found.

In the hush of a dark vehicle parked in the library's alleyway, a man sat in the back seat, his laptop connected to the building's modem. Seated in imported Italian leather seats and darkly tinted windows, he kept his fingers lingering above the computer keys. He looked as if he was just yet another internet addict getting his fix away from the crowds, but the light of his computer screen shown off a metallic skull-like mask adorning his face. His red eyes were growing increasingly narrowed as his fingers moved faster over the keyboard. An e-mail of the highest importance commanded his attention.

Shipment has been sent. NoiGon toxin scheduled to arrive at Arkham Asylum. Set medical exams for seven sharp.

With two taps of his mouse pad, the man sent his message to a contact merely across Gotham City. Within seconds a computer pinged, nearly thirty miles of city streets passed within the blink of an eye. Youthful brown eyes came to the message alert. Glancing over his shoulder, a young man swallowed his nervousness and grasped the computer's mouse. Clicking on the incoming message, he read it and within six seconds had set to work. Opening another file and typing in a password, the young man accessed the asylum's medical arrangement. With a few choice clicks and the schedule was hacked. Exams were set for seven tonight. The young Arkham Asylum orderly typed a reply to his boss.

Acknowledged. Medical exams are rescheduled. Seven sharp. I will be assisting medical personnel. Am I to administer toxin?

"Message received". Back at the library, the man laced his fingers together as he saw the new e-mail flash across his screen. You could nearly see a smile stretch on the man's mask.

Affirmative. As previously planned, inject inmate 230D1; infect Joker. Maintain silence until I contact you next. Logging out.

Roman Sionis grinned. The powerful crime boss shut his computer and set it onto the car seat beside him. Joker, a mockery to all humanity, was a perfect distraction. As long as the supercriminal was locked up in Arkham, even though the crime boss would never admit it, the harlequin was a threat to his organization. What made this scenario a little disgusting was that it wasn't the Joker's rivalry making the problems for Black Mask. Joker lived for making people laugh, even if it killed them. True psychosis. But the Clown Prince of Crime was recently captured. That meant… the true thorn in crime's side, the Batman, now had free time.

The nutty clown always kept the Batman occupied while Black Mask carried out his nefarious dealings behind the bat's back. But now that Joker was in one place, the Batman's fist was tightening over Black Mask's throat. The crime boss needed a distraction and a scapegoat. And Joker was perfect.

Soon… the crazed harlequin would lead the Batman on a wild goose chase, loosening the noose around Black Mask's neck. By the time they figure out what was happening Joker would have slowly perished with a contagious lethal toxin leisurely turning his organs into mush and the Batman's Gotham would cease to exist.

With hundreds of witnesses but no one the wiser, the crime boss chuckled.

"Get me out of here." Black Mask growled at his driver. The chauffer nodded and shifted the expensive black car into drive. In just a few hours Joker's demise would be put into motion and Gotham would never be the same.

"Keep you elbows in!" Batgirl heard her friend and fellow crime-fighter Robin scold. The teenage heroine just frowned as she did a back-flip.

A vine the size of a four-door car slammed into the ground where she was once standing. Gracefully landing, the masked girl flicked a pellet of instant freezing foam onto the sizable plant. When the icy weapon met the sensitive plant-life, it immediately froze and killed the flora.

"And you keep your lips buttoned!" Batgirl fired back, spinning on her heeled boot. She caught the younger teen boy dramatically somersaulting over a cactus that had sprouted legs.

Poison Ivy's latest minion creation; a prickly mobile cactus that the budding botanical chemist had bred; no pun intended. The walking cactus immediately went on the most sinister lackeys list that Batgirl had encountered. One wrong move and you'd be so full of needles, pin-cushions would blush with envy. But Robin was taking the nearly carnivorous cactus to the cleaners. With a powerful slash of his baton, the Boy Wonder had cut the walking plant in half. With the defeated cactus dismembered and disorientated, Robin set his rod on his shoulder and smirked at his female friend and partner.

"Elbows in and figure eights." The boy quipped, keeping his elbows to his sides and tracing an eight pattern into the air with his finger. Batgirl, also called Barbara Gordon, rolled her brown eyes from under her cowl.

"Clockwise or counter-clockwise?" She returned, matching his humor as she made her way to him through hip-high bushes. "Because if I do counter-clockwise figure eights, I kick more bad guy booty."

The young teen hero Robin, also known as Dick Greyson, grinned as he watched Barbara near.

"Clockwise figure eights are the best way to go." He replied, again tracing the air with his finger. Barbara sighed as she moved past him.

"Well you would know, Mr. Smug." Barbara shook her head. Dick's smirk fell as he trotted up to her.

"What's with you, B-Girl? You aren't yourself." The boy took a step in front of her. The two collided.

Dick felt Barbara's arms on his shoulders as she gave another irritated and tired sigh into his hair.

"I've got math finals, a father who is getting too nosy about what I do all day and a gymnastics class I signed up for." She mumbled. "All that on top of my alter ego alias obligations AND a bossy friend obsessed with figure-eights. So forgive me if I seem a little serious."

The boy felt a frown curl his lips downward.

"More gymnastics?" Dick stepped away from the girl, taking her arms off of his shoulders. "What's up with that? It's not like you're not practicing enough here."

He gestured to the Gotham City Botanical Gardens that were covered by a large living plant dome. Poison Ivy was creative yet she enjoyed her plants; the gardens being her unofficial haunt. Thick, woody, vines writhed along the supple ground, nearing the two crime-fighters like stalking snakes. But Batgirl still sighed.

"It's too much talk for being in the middle of a plant blitzkrieg." She waved her hand, dismissing the subject. Robin narrowed his green eyes from behind his eye mask.

"What? No more pre-battle bant-eep!" The boy's sentence was cut off by a girly squeak. A super-vine, one with cactus needles had slapped Dick in the back of his thigh. "EeOW!

Several profanities followed as the Boy Wonder danced around, trying to get rid the pain of those needles invading his bottom. Over his cursing, Robin did hear Batgirl laugh at him.

"Watch it. Vines can be wily ones!" She snickered. Dick spun, and about to give her a piece of his mind.

But suddenly, his face went numb and then he couldn't feel his arms. His brain was fine but he couldn't form speech or anymore movement. Falling flat on his face, he heard Barbara gasp at him.

"Robin!" She rushed to his side and he felt her hand on him. Suddenly flipped on his back, the boy could see the concern in his friend's face.

He had a clear view of the air above their heads and the dangers looming about in it. Dick tried to warn Barbara about the vines with the poisonous needles but his words came out as a mushy mumble.

"You like it?" A husky if a little unstable voice cut through the rustling leaves and moaning vines. Batgirl jumped upwards, her breath hitched in her throat.

It was Pamela Isely or… what she'd become. The half-plant/half-teenage girl rode into the scene on a bed of roses. Poison Ivy looked like a normal, pretty teen, but she had the bite of a snake and a skill for plant-life. So whatever she cooked up, it was always bad news, especially for Gotham's crime-fighting trio.

"What have you done to him, Ivy?!" Barbara barked, a flurry of concerns running through her mind. Who knows what Robin was now infected with?!

The teenage villain chuckled.

"Your boyfriend's been infected with a plant-based muscle relaxant." Ivy responded, a mocking grin dancing on her green lips. "It's nothing really."

Barbara stiffened.

"OK… One, Robin's NOT my boyfriend and two…" He pointed down to the boy. "THAT doesn't look like nothing."

Ivy gave a laugh.

"All right… it is something." The villainess relented, shrugging easily. "It's a powerful muscle relaxant, Batgirl. Meaning your boyfriend has mere minuets to live."

The red-headed crime-fighter gasped.

"So you have two choices… stay here and stop me, which spells positive doom for Robin… OR scoop him up and leave by the way you came in." Ivy added. "But know that he doesn't have long to breathe."

Barbara looked down at her friend and saw the blank, relaxed look on his face. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID plants! Whisking Robin into the air and over her shoulder, Batgirl made a b-line for the exit.

"I still hate broccoli!" She spat over her shoulder at Poison Ivy. The half-plant/half-human girl laughed.

"And broccoli hates you, my dear." Raising a hand, the plant-girl summoned more cactus lackeys. Pointing a finger after the fleeing Batgirl, she uttered two words. "Finish them."

The mobile cactus darted after the two crime-fighters. Poison Ivy smiled. This battle would be hers yet.

Barbara raced toward the exit, trouncing and bouncing the numb Robin on her shoulder. She thanked the adrenaline rushing through her body or the teenage boy would be pretty heavy. The girl could hear Dick moan once in a while.

"Robin, I swear if you're drooling on my cape, I'm going to hurt you!" She threatened, hiding the fact that she just wanted to hear him "talk" to her. That way, she knew that he was still alive. "Where's Batman?! He's never around when we get into scrapes like this!"

In typical Batman style, the masked man gave she and Dick only sketchy answers when he left them off at the gardens. He said he had a theory and that Batgirl and Robin should keep Poison Ivy busy in the meantime. Nodding, Barbara gave into her mentor's orders like she always did. He was Batman! He'd never steer them wrong! And now she was running through hip-high grass, one of her best friends flung over her shoulder.

Dick garbled something, his jaw muscles still deadened. Suddenly they both heard the signature sound of a Bat-a-rang whiz through the air. It flew dangerously close to Barbara's head before hitting something pulpy. Immediately it blew the cactus minions that were nearly on them. The explosion knocked Batgirl down and she and Robin landed in a tangled heap. Barbara peeled herself out of the cushy grass and spat out a mouthful of dirt.

"Sheesh!" She sat on her knees and threw her arms to the sky. "We could have used your help five minuets ago!

Barbara was scolding her mentor and partner… the Batman. With little more that a whisper of fabric, she knew the lithe man was standing behind her. Looking up at the stoic and steely masked man, the girl pouted.

"And where have you been?" Barbara asked. The masked crime-fighter merely narrowed his slitted eyes at his female partner.

"What's wrong with Robin?" His dark voice mimicked the shadows of night around them. Batgirl gasped.

"Robin!" She scrambled over to the felled boy's side. "Ivy hit him with a powerful muscle relaxant!"

Flipping the boy over to his back, she hoped to ease his breathing. The Batman had kneeled with the girl. Pressing a clawed finger to his utility belt, the crime-fighter retrieved a small vial inside a syringe. With no warning, the Batman stuck the needle into Robin's neck. The boy moaned as his eyebrows twitched slightly. It must have hurt; regardless of muscle relaxant.

"Take him back to the Batmobile and keep an eye on him. He should bounce back within a couple minuets." The Batman then turned and marched deeper into Poison Ivy's lair.

"Wait! You-! I-! Robin-…!" Barbara stammered. "You can't go face Ivy alone! You're barely able to drive the Bat-Mobile without moaning!"

That made Bruce Wayne's eyes narrow from under his cowl. Again she brought up his injuries! The man fully understood his aches and pains were not healed yet.

"You watch Robin, Batgirl." The Dark Knight repeated, his tone hitting a dangerous octave. "I'll be fine."

Barbara scoffed.

"You're gonna hurt yourself again!" She argued. "You stay with Robin and I'll go after Ivy."

Bruce turned to his sidekick and friend.

"Do as I told you. I have this handled." He growled. And without room for her objection, the man darted off into the shadows.

The teen girl frowned as she looked back down at Robin.

"He's going to re-injure himself and be in a body cast for the next six months." She complained, sitting and letting Robin's head on her lap. "His head is about as thick as they come."

Dick blinked as the corner of his mouth twitched with a grin. Bruce's head WAS cracked open just over a month ago. But not even paralyzing pain could keep that man from defending the defenseless. There was one thing the Batman's sidekicks were grateful for… Pretty much all of the high-profile and highly dangerous criminals were still locked up. And who did they have to thank for that? None other than the Joker himself.

So let Bruce face Poison Ivy. He had the advantage over quick-tempered schemer. Venturing deeper into the jungle that was once the city park, the Dark Knight aimed to meet up with a poisonous plant-hybrid.

Exactly in the middle of the botanical gardens, the Batman saw Poison Ivy lying on a bed of roses, looking up at the plant membrane that had made a dome over the area. He'd neared without a sound but with Ivy's deep connection with her plants, she could feel his feet pressed into the grass. The red-headed, green-skinned teenager flipped to her stomach and locked eyes with the crime-fighter.

"Welcome Batman!" She was obviously forcing a smile. "Glad you could make it."

She knew where he'd been. Instead of fighting Ivy here with his sidekicks, Bruce took a detour to the docks. That's where he caught a few of the green villainess' plant soldiers looting containers fresh off a boat from the east.

"Nice diversion, Pamela." The Batman quipped. "You nearly fooled me."

The girl's teeth clenched as her anger came to her nose.

"Those containers had rare Mai Ghon orchids!" She fumed. "And they were in bloom! With their potent pollen, I could have engineered enough mind-controlling spores to infect the city. And YOU ruined it!"

"Exactly why your plant goons couldn't get their leafy hands on them." The crime-fighter returned. "Now you have nothing to fight for. Give yourself up without a fight, Pamela."

"NEVER!" The girl screamed. The ground below her exploded as thick woody vines came to their mistress's call.

They immediately darted toward the masked crime-fighter. Bruce jumped to the side and avoided them expertly. Charging Ivy, he readied a special sonic device. It was a prototype; this being its maiden voyage. Throwing the disc, Frisbee style, it landed at Pamela's feet. It then began to vibrate. Instantly Ivy's hold on her plants gave. The tree she was standing on toppled under her and all plant-life around wilted. Ivy tumbled to the ground, horrified that she could no longer control her babies.

"What have you done?!" She gave a pathetic warble as the Batman stood over her.

"Sonics. Disrupts the signal in your brain that gives you control over plants." He pulled an aerosol can from his utility belt. Ivy was so distraught that she didn't look away as the Dark Knight filled her face with knock-out gas, laced with her very own plant spores.

The girl's eyes grew heavy and she collapsed right there. Tucking his aerosol can away, Bruce moved over to the sonic device. He flicked off the mechanism and turned back to the villainess.

"But this isn't without it's risks." He said out loud. True, the device inhibited Ivy's conscious signal to her plants… but it might scramble her mind in the process.

It had promise… but it was too much of a liability. Bruce would not have one of his devices cause harm.

Inside a carefully closed parameter police waited just beyond the rapidly deteriorating plant dome as the Batman emerged with a limp Poison Ivy in his arms. Paramedics from Arkham Asylum took Ivy from her enemy's arms. The Batman readily handed over the young villainess and watched her placed on a gurney, strapped down and loaded into a special armored truck, unique for handling some of Gotham's most powerful mental cases. Bruce Wayne was thankful that Ivy went down so easily. The man would never admit that his relatively fresh injuries were not healing as fast as they should. Tired, over-worked and in a serious amount of aches, Mr. Bruce Wayne needed to get back home to curl up in bed with some pain killers.

The Caped Crusader's charade was tough to keep up; his two sidekicks constantly vented their concerns about his health. It wasn't just his partners in crime, it was also… the police. Two of the Batman's closest allies would not stop voicing their worry. Tonight being no different. Just as the doors shut over the unconscious Poison Ivy, a hand was placed on Bruce's shoulder. The relatively soft tactile touch sent a stab of pain through the man's arm. Immediately spinning, the costumed crime-fighter came face to face with Police Commissioner Ellen Yin; a soft ironic smile on her red lips.

"Police Chief Bennett has a handle on the Mai Ghon orchids, Batman." The oriental beauty voiced, letting her hands in her pants pockets. "He assures me that they were destroyed."

The crime-fighter looked at the woman. Hoping to flee the scene and get back home, he made his way back toward the shadows.

"Thank you Batman. You saved the city… again." By her tone, Bruce sensed that she wanted something. The crime-fighter stopped and glanced over his shoulder.

"Is that all?" He questioned in a business-like tone. Ellen sighed loudly and walked toward him.

"It's been only a month and three weeks since you were hurt, Batman." She told him, arms folded across her chest. Then the woman stopped and let it soak into the masked crime-fighter.

Bruce returned his eyes to the shadows and let himself frown.

"Crime never stops… and neither do I." He gruffly responded. Ellen inhaled and let out another long sigh.

"You and I both know that crime will never stop… but it has slowed." The Police Commissioner voiced. "Take advantage of the relative lull and take a break, Batman."

""Relative" is not a term that lets me rest, Commissioner." The crime-fighter frowned. The woman's big eyes narrowed considerably.

"Over half of the city's villains are still locked up." She told him. "When Joker-…"

Ellen stopped, her lips tightening. Bruce shot his eyes back to the Police Commissioner. The look on his face dared her to finish that sentence.

"Yes, I am bringing up Joker." Ellen set her hands on her hips, irritated by the angry look on the Batman's face. "When Joker took over for you over a month ago, he made sure that when you did get back on your feet your work didn't pile up. Do yourself a favor and take a break."

Joker. The crazed Crime Clown dressed as the Laughing Bat and kept up Gotham while his "best friend" healed after a fight with Penguin and Mr. Freeze. Bruce never asked the Joker to fill in for him; the insane harlequin did that on his own. Nearly every super criminal was locked away, thanks to Joker's phase of heroic psychosis. The Batman was grateful for less work but there was hardly an excuse for a break.

The Batman narrowed his eyes at Ellen Yin and turned on his heel. Disappearing into the shadows without another word, he left the Police Commissioner shaking her head.

Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!!!