Notes: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. Mary Poppins is owned by Disney and P. L. Travers. Roland Daggett was created for Batman: The Animated Series. While watching Mary Poppins Returns, I was reminded of the Batman character Roland Daggett, because of how similar he acts to Colin Firth's character in the film. Considering my goofy excitement over Roland Daggett basically being the villain of the Mary Poppins film, this story had to happen. Plus the Mary Poppins have David Warner, who voiced Ra's al Ghul in the 90s Batman show, which means that Mary Poppins Returns is basically a Batman film.
The villainous businessman, Roland Daggett, having a meeting with his fellow business people. He paced around the room with tons of smug confidence. He was so sure that his plan would work. Roland faced the businessmen and said, "Gentlemen, as you know, Gotham is a complete wreck of a city. It's a wasteland of a place which is why it needs order and balance. I assure you all that I'm the one who has what it takes to do that."
One of the businessmen asked, "What do you want from us?"
Roland said, "I want you to chip in you money and buy Wayne Industries for me."
One of the businessmen replied, "You have guts Mr. Daggett and they appear to be for the dumbest of reasons. You know how much money Wayne Industries is worth? We could never buy it from Bruce Wayne."
Roland said, "Every person has a price, even Bruce. Make him an offer that he can't refuse. Give him one hundred million."
A businessman angrily threw his suitcase in the air and asked, "What kind of crazy pills do you take? Do you think that we have that kind of cash?"
Roland sat down and replied, "I'm talking to Gotham's wealthiest businessmen. There's twenty of you here, so each of you only has to chip in five million. Bruce Wayne might not approve, but his staff and superiors would be more than willing to hand Wayne Industries to me, for that price at least. They want a businessman with a respectable image, not a goofy playboy." The businessmen figured that Roland's plan was a good investment, so they agreed to the plan. Roland called Wayne Industries and made an appointment for the next day. Several employees and board members tried to get into contact with Bruce Wayne, but Bruce was too busy to answer a single call.
The next day Bruce Wayne walked inside of Wayne Industries. One of the secretaries said, "Mr. Wayne, we've been trying to get a hold of you for hours."
Bruce wasn't paying attention to his phone, because he had been busy stopping Ra's al Ghul's latest scheme. Bruce said, "I'm sorry. What's going on?"
The secretary replied, "Mr. Daggett came by for a meeting with the board."
Bruce said, "Now that I'm here, we can get that meeting started."
The secretary replied, "The meeting already started. You've been gone for so many hours, that the board left."
Bruce jokingly said, "Those board members sure live up to their name."
The secretary frowned at Bruce and replied, "Go into the meeting room. Mr. Daggett wants to talk to you."
Bruce walked into the meeting room and reluctantly shook hands with Roland. Roland had a smug look on his face while saying, "It's an honor to meet with you."
Bruce replied, "Even meeting Clark Kent would be a bigger honor than having a meeting with you." Bruce often made wisecracks about Clark, because he was jealous of Superman. Since people didn't know that Clark was Superman, they didn't understand his jokes.
Roland put his arm around Bruce and said, "I have good news for you. I'm going to relieve you of all your Wayne Industries duties. I'm going to be the new boss, so you can be a fun loving playboy all day."
Bruce stuck his hands in the air and replied, "Hold on. You need the board's approval and mine."
Roland showed Bruce a document that all of the board members signed. Roland explained, "They're going to receive twenty million dollars. It seems like your staff is more loyal to their wallets than they are to you. It's comforting to know that money is the solution to life's dilemmas."
Bruce replied, "Hold on again. You need my approval. Even if you have the board's approval, you can't run my company without me agreeing to it."
Roland said, "I was afraid that you'd be this annoyingly stubborn. Thankfully, I brought a friend to take care of this problem." The Joker stepped out of the shadows.
Bruce nervously asked, "You've been here this whole time?"
The Joker said, "I sure have and you guys sure are boring. It's time to skip the business part and go to your delightful finale." The Joker pointed a clown themed blaster at Bruce.
Bruce nervously replied, "You couldn't get rid of me."
The Joker said, "You're not Batman, so I don't care what happens to you." He did an evil laugh.
Suddenly, Mary Poppins flew into the meeting room. Roland asked, "How did this umbrella lady get in here? Is she some kind of female version of Oswald Cobblepot?" Mary used her umbrella to hit Roland on the head.
The Joker angrily pointed his blaster at Mary Poppins and asked, "Who are you and why are you ruining my big moment?"
Mary sternly said, "You're a corrupt clown. Clowns are supposed to be fun, lighthearted sources of entertainment for kids."
Roland replied, "I prefer clowns that make me money from fast food commercials."
Mary pointed her umbrella at the Joker and said, "If you try to use that blaster, I'll use my umbrella on you."
The Joker did an evil laugh and replied, "I've battled the Penguin's dumb umbrella dozens of times. I'm not scared of you." Mary used her umbrella to smack the Joker across the room. He crash landed into a bookcase. Dozens of bookcases fell on the Joker.
Bruce walked up to the Joker and jokingly said, "Considering how many cards you have, it's surprising that you don't have a library card."
The Joker stood up and said, "Thankfully you're no expert at fighting, so getting rid of you should be easy." The Joker punched Bruce to the ground.
Mary pointed her umbrella at the Joker and said, "It's time to show this clown what justice is." She used a magical blast, from her umbrella, to blast the Joker out of the room. He crash landed on a police car.
Roland straightened his tie and said, "I think that I've made my point clear enough. Bruce, let me take over as the boss or I'll have a bigger threat break your back." Roland walked out.
Bruce said, "Thank you for your help, Ms. Poppins."
Mary asked, "You know who I am?"
Bruce said, "I'm quite the reader. I know all about the most important people."
Mary replied, "I'm flattered."
Bruce paced around the room while saying, "I don't know how to save my company."
Mary thought of an idea and replied, "Mr. Wayne, I have a plan on how to save the company. The only thing that I need you to do is hav Roland and the board come here for another meeting. I have a very special show for them."
Bruce responded, "I'm going to trust you and your magic." Bruce and Mary shook hands.
The next day Bruce had Roland and the board come to the meeting room. Bruce said, "Greetings guys. I have a guest who has an important presentation for you."
Mary Poppins tap danced into the room and said, "Hi guys."
Roland jokingly replied, "This is probably Bruce's thirty ninth girlfriend of the year."
Bruce said, "Hey, I'm currently dating Selina Kyle. She's the purrfect girlfriend."
Mary faced the board and said, "I know that Mr. Daggett has made you a tempting offer, but I'm prepared to show you that rude man's true intentions and how he really acts." Mary grabbed a recording out of her umbrella and projected it to Bruce's monitor screen. It showed two clips: One of Roland hiring the Joker and one of the Joker trying to eliminate Bruce.
Roland replied, "I'm shocked by this. I can't believe that this terrible woman would make such troublesome fake clips." The board members were smart enough to know that the clips were real.
Bruce looked at Roland and said, "If you don't want to be sued, I suggest staying away from my company, forever."
Roland straightened his tie and replied, "Very well then."
A few hours later Batman was standing on Wayne Industries' rooftop. Mary flew by and said, "Greetings Batman."
Batman replied, "Thank you for helping Mr. Wayne with his company problems."
Mary asked, "Mr. Wayne? What a formal thing to call yourself."
Batman nervously asked, "You know who I am?"
Mary said, "Just because I'm not a detective, doesn't mean that I'm not a smart cookie."
Batman replied, "Your intelligence certainly is better than that clueless Clark Kent guy."
Mary put her hand on Batman's shoulder and responded, "Batman, what saved you from Mr. Daggett was our partnership. You're a great hero, but you need to join up with other heroes. Teamwork beats solo work every single time."
Batman thought about what Mary said and realized that she was right. He got out his cellphone and called Superman. He said, "Clark, instead of being petty rivals, I think that we should form a team of fellow superheroes. We'll be a league that represents justice." Mary started flying away while feeling glad that her inspiring words led to Batman forming the Justice League.
