Real Boy

Chapter One~ The Tech

Year: 2016

The crowd went wild. They always did. Everyone loved the bots, the automatons originally built way back in 1896 for this very purpose. To bring music and joy to humans. Personally, Lorra didn't understand why people needed artificial intelligence to create music. It wasn't like there was any shortage of singers and wanna-be musicians. Of course, that didn't mean she didn't enjoy the band. On the contrary, Steam Powered Giraffe was one of her all time favorite groups. So you can imagine her surprise when she had been asked to join Walter Robotics as one of their techs. No, she didn't work with the bots inner workings, though she was extremely interested in what made them tick, that was the Walter Workers' Chelsea and Camille's job. Lorra actually worked with the outward appearance of the band. From their personalities and wardrobe, to the music their picked and played, she was probably the only person who hung out with them more than they hung out with each other.

They had just finished up with the song 'Honeybee', and were taking their final bows. Lorra stood in the wing, clapping along with the audience.

Then out of nowhere, Rabbit called out, "Don't forget to check out our new album, so-so-soft fleshy humans!"

Lorra's hand came up to meet her face, shaking her head as Rabbit's metal appendage waved at the crowd and the band made their way off-stage. With a grimace, she straightened her hair, shoved her clipboard under her arm and clapped to the bots that were walking toward her. "Great show, guys, really wonderful. Just one thing. Come here, bring it in." She waved them over. Once they were close enough, she put a hand on the female automaton's shoulder. "Rabbit, what did we say about making semi-killer bot remarks?"

"Don't freak-k-k out the humans?" She shrugged. Lorra nodded.

"Exactly. Look, I know what you guys are. Those people out there don't. They have no idea that your AI isn't going to turn you into crazy, human-killing machines bent on world domination. So, sweetie," she smirked at the closest thing to a girl-friend that she had, "No more dark remarks, please?" They all just looked at her, like she was a bit insane herself. And maybe she was, calling a robot her girl-friend. "Ok, fine. If you can't do that, then at least limit it to little jokes."

"We can do that, boss!" Hatchworth gave her a cheery thumbs-up.

"Thank you. And I'm not the boss, Hatchy. I'm just a worker." Lorra told him with a grin. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw The Spine giving her an odd look. "What?" She laughed. "What's that face for?"

"You don't exactly look like a Walter Worker." To emphasize his point, his mechanical eyes moved up and down her body.

True enough, she didn't. The Walter Workers usually wore white and black Victorian style uniforms with striped socks and boots. Instead of that, Lorra wore her typical jeans and tennis shoes with some old, comfortable t-shirt and flannel shirt over it with the sleeves rolled up. Her brown hair was pulled up in its usual ponytail, showing off her rectangle glasses and the multiple piercings in each ear. Waving her hand, nails painted black tonight, and rings flashing in the lowlights, she scoffed. "You wouldn't catch me dead in one of those horrible uniforms. That was my only condition when I started working with you guys. Come on, I think the Workers are wanting to make sure you're all oiled up before we set out for home." She wrapped an arm around Rabbit and Hatchworth, and marched them away with Spine trailing behind.

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Unlike Chelsea and Camilla, who left as soon as the bots were home, Lorra was basically their live in...maid? Tutor? Person? She didn't really know what her official title was, nor really what she was actually supposed to do for the band. The boss-man had hired her without much explanation, other than "Take care of them." And just what were her qualifications to take care of three previously homicidal robots? A major psychology diploma that had been gathering dust in her apartment, a minor in robotics, and the experience of wrangling her multitude of baby cousins and half-siblings. Yep...she figured she was probably one of the least qualified people to deal with Steam Powered Giraffe. But, a job was a job, and she needed money because the bills don't pay themselves.

So, as such, here she was, sitting around the T.V. watching Bill Engvall when they got back to the house. Part of their programming made it so they could learn and understand humans better and better. This helped with writing music. Rabbit and Hatchworth would basically watch anything, especially when it was funny. Spine, on the other hand, was a bit more...refined. Or so he put it. If he watched anything, it was usually documentaries and the like. When he told her this, Lorra just rolled her eyes. She'd seen him, lurking around the corner and trying not to laugh too loudly to attract the attention of his housemates. For whatever reason, he felt like he needed to keep up his appearance of the more stoic, sane of the trio. Lorra didn't believe it for a moment. It had taken some finagling, but she had finally managed to make him sit down and watch the show with them. Despite the fact that she knew the bots didn't get tired and uncomfortable like she did, she felt a bit sorry for Spine not being able to lean back against the couch because of the rather ridiculous contraption on his back.

When the show was over, Lorra stood up and stretched. "Alrighty, folks. Time for bed." She clapped her hands at them, telling them to get moving. Her words were met with a duo of 'awww' from Rabbit and Hatchworth. "No, no 'aww'. I've been up since four this morning and haven't had a second to get a nap. I'm tired, and I am not leaving you three to run free without me awake. Come on. Bed. Now." The two of them were dragging their feet into the hall. Spine was still sitting. "That means you, too."

"I'm not in need of recharging." He said, not moving from his spot. Lorra placed a hand on her hip and waved for him to stand up. When he did, she grabbed his arm and spun him around. "Hey!" He yelled, though not resisting. They both knew that if he wanted to, Spine could send her flying across the room.

"Hush." Lorra slipped a finger under the edge of his collar, lifted it, and raised on tip-toes to check his battery light. It was still pretty full. "You're good for now, but you are going to have to sleep...I mean rest, before morning comes." She told him, flopping back to her feet. "Whatever. I've gotta go get Bitty and Hatch plugged up. Do what you want. I trust you a little bit more than I trust them. G'night, Spine."

"Goodnight, Lorra." He said cordially, tipping his hat to her.

She gave him her usual quirky smile, and made her way down the hall after the other two, humming some random song. Truly, Lorra loved her job. Sure the bots were a little on the nutty side, but at least she was never bored. Hatchworth's room was first. He was already removing his hat and placing it on the table beside his recharging station. As she entered his room, a growl came from beside the door, scaring her.

"Geez!" She said, one hand on her chest to attempt to still her pounding heart. "Seriously, Hatchy? What happened to 'no more badgers in the house'?" The creature continued to growl, but moved on to tear into a sandwich that had been left on the floor.

"Sorry," he responded, bashfully. "I'll get rid of him in the morning."

"Yeah, and I'll be cleaning up his crap in the morning while you do that." Lorra sighed. "Nevermind. It's fine. Just make sure you don't send him to some rich people's party again, ok?"

"You got it, boss!" He grinned.

"Bedtime." Plugging in his power cord, she pecked his hard, metal cheek. "Night, Hatch."

"Goooodnight." Then, his eyes closed and his body slumped down a bit, signaling that he was out for the night.

Rabbit was always a little harder to get to bed. She was a lot like a toddler, Lorra reasoned, whereas Hatchworth was a slightly older kid. That would make Spine the teenager, with his disregard for her telling him to rest, and going about his night, no doubt staying up until the wee hours of the morning.

"Bitty, seriously, you need to get over here and get plugged in!" She said, chasing the spastic bot around the room with the cord.

"But, Lo-ooooo-rra-aaaa!" She whined. "I don't w-w-wanna go to sleep."

"Well, tough titties. Get your robo-butt over here."

"Why does Spine get to s-s-s-stay up?"

"Because his battery is still half full. Yours, on the other hand, has turned red." Lorra told her, pointing to the mirror behind her. Rabbit spun her head 180 degrees to look at it without turning around. "That is so weird. Quit playing Exorcist, and come here." She waved the extension threatening.

Rabbit's faceplates fell into a pout, and she jerkily stepped towards her. In her clumsiness, her dragging foot caught on one of her many outfits laying around on the floor and she fell face first to the floor. The noise caused Lorra to flinched, the clang of metal on metal caused a ringing in her ears. "I'm ok." The bot scrambled to her feet, dramatically dusting herself off and continuing her journey to her recharging station.

"Do you need me to check your face real quick?" Lorra sighed.

"Please." Rabbit said quietly.

The human woman smiled at her gently, then pulled a toolkit out of her back pocket, unrolling it on the nightstand and picking out a small flathead screwdriver. "C'mere, sweetie." The females sat down on Rabbit's bed. Why a robot needed a bed, she didn't know, but maybe it was to give them a more human feel. Lorra fit the screwdriver into the bolts that held Rabbit's face plates and removed them to check the mechanations underneath. It was a bit unnerving to see teeth without lips, and the bot's eyes moving back and forth. "Lucky Spine didn't hear that crash."

"Yeah," her jaw moved. "I-I-I'd never live it down."

"You just need to be a little more careful. Maybe the Worker Girls can fix up some of your works and get you better balanced."

"Spine sa-sa-says I'm clumsy no matter w-w-what." She said sadly.

"Hey," Lorra poked her shoulder with the tool. "You ignore him. You know how he is. I personally think that he doesn't quite know what to do with himself now that you're a woman. My mom always told me that when boys teased and made fun of me, it was because they like me and don't know how to express it."

"I do-do-don't think that's the case here, Lor."

"Why? Because you're robots? You guys are more human that everyone thinks. I know that better than anyone. Ya never know, girlfriend. Anyway, nothing's messed up, so you're perfectly fine to go to bed." She said, waving the screwdriver threateningly."

"Fiiiiiiine!" The bot said, throwing her head back. Lorra put her face plates back and grabbed the cord before Rabbit could run away again. Without so much as a 'by your leave', she shoved the connecting pieces together and stood up to get her things while Rabbit laid down. "Lorra?"

"Yes, Bitty?" She asked, shoving the toolkit back in her pocket.

"I love you."

Lorra smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to Rabbit's cold forehead. "I love you, too, Rabbit. Get some sleep." She pulled the string on the lamp, and left the room. Standing in the doorway, she couldn't help but grin to herself.

"How's her face?" The voice beside her made her jump.

"Damn it! Spine, what the hell?!" The tall metal man was leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.

"I heard her fall down. Is she ok?"

"She's fine. It's my heart that's having issues right this minute. Christ," she put her hands on her knees, trying to breathe deep and calm her heart for the second time tonight. "What's with you and the sneaking? I mean, you're made of metal for Christ's sake. You shouldn't be that quiet!"

Spine shrugged, a small quirk pulling his lips into a half-smile. "Or maybe you're just not that observant."

"I observe quite well, thank you very much." She shoved him playfully, making her way back towards her room. "Tons of cousins trying to sneak up on me for years made me really good at telling when people do that."

"Yeah, well," he threw an arm around her shoulders. "I'm not people. I'm a robot. And as such, I can regulate my footfall pressure to keep you from hearing me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, you big goof. I thought you were going to watch T.V. some more."

"I was. But..."

She stopped outside her door. "What's up?"

If he wasn't made of titanium, surely, Spine would have been blushing. "There's an issue with one of the plates on my side. Hatchworth accidently hit it with the edge of his bass when we were switching sets. I didn't think it was worth troubling the Workers earlier, but it's becoming rather unbearable. I was hoping you could take a look at it before you went to sleep." He was shuffling his feet. The Spine was nervous about asking her for help. To be fair, she had never had to do any tinkering on him. Hatchworth occasionally needed a little upkeep on his hatch/portal, and Rabbit always wanted to try new hairstyles and such.

Lorra chuckled. "Sure thing, darlin'. Come on it." She shook her head as she pushed open her door. When she had first moved in, this room had not had any kind of barrier to those who wanted to enter, but she had quickly ratified that. It didn't matter that three of her housemates were robots and didn't have any kind of sexual orientation, or that the master of the house was a key-faced hermit who rarely left his room, she still didn't like the idea of people being able to come in without announcing themselves first. Not that Rabbit or Hatchworth did anyway. Both bots had burst in on her in various stages of undress, the latter backing out and stumbling over himself, often with steam coming from his chimney.

Flicking on the light, she beckoned him in, and went to turn on the two lamps, one on her nightstand, the other in the corner of her room beside her bookcase and armchair. Lorra crossed to her dresser, fiddling with a device in her hand. It was her phone, which she plugged into her stereo. Spine stood in the middle of the room awkwardly, taking in the décor. In the last few months that she'd been living there, he had never actually been inside the human's room. The walls were adorned with posters of movies and bands, and some old family photos. Next to where she stood, was a large bookcase filled to the brim with books. In the other corner, was a workbench of sorts, with bits and pieces of metal. The computer desk was littered with post-it notes, little reminders for appointments, ideas for shows and costumes. Suddenly, the room was filled with the sounds of Journey 'Don't Stop Believing' coming from her little stereo. When he looked back to the woman, she was bobbing a little as she turned it down so that it was little more than background music. She saw him standing there, and chuckled, gesturing for him to sit on the bed.

"Alrighty, what seems to be the problem, bud?" Lorra asked him, pulling out her toolkit again. He just looked at her. "I know you already told me, but I need to see the plates to do anything."

"Oh," Spine said, moving to unbutton his waistcoat. Lorra helped him get it over the spines on his back, then did the same with his shirt. Immediately, she saw damage, the place where one of his torso plates was overlapping the other. She knelt down next to him, pushing his arm up so she could inspect it more closely.

"Hmm. You took a pretty hard hit there, hun. Any damage to Hatchy's bass?" Lorra asked as she started poking the spot.

"Probably." He smirked. "Think you can fix it?"

"Sure. But, I'm gonna have to take the whole thing off and beat it back into shape." She told him as she started picking out the tools she needed to release it. "This might tickle a bit."

"Physically impossible, considering that I wasn't built with those kind of touch receptors. Walter wanted me to be more human than the other two, but that didn't mean actually human."

"Right, because if he wanted to do that, all he had to do was go find a nice lady to have a little fun with and then name the product Spine." Lorra said dryly while she began prying the stubborn piece away.

"Your attempt at humor leaves something to be desired, Lorra."

"Shut up, it's better than some of the things Rabbit says. Damn it!" She yelped, yanking her hand back from the panel. A bead of blood dripped down the side of her index finger, having sliced the skin on the edge of plate. "Shit."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. It's just a cut." Shoving the bleeding skin between her lips, she reached over him and rummaged through her nightstand for a band-aid. Once she found one, she dried the area of saliva and wrapped the band-aid around her finger. "There, see? All better. Now, let's get this stubborn thing off." After much cursing and pulling, she finally managed to free the piece, falling on her ass in the process. "About damn time." Spine offered her his hand, which she took, and helped her stand up.

As she crossed the room to the workbench, another song came on, which she was muttering along to as she bent and beat the plate back into it's original shape. Pick a star on the dark horizon, and follow the light. You'll come back, when they call you. No need to say goodbye. The instrumental part had her bobbing her head, and she continued to talk to herself. Spine watched her work from his spot on her bed. He liked the way she moved, without the hindrance of stiff metal joints and clockwork making her movements jerky and halting. Every move was smooth and...almost delicate. Her small fingers worked nimbly on the mechanics on the inside of the plate. She used a fingernail to scratch away some kind of grime or oil build-up, quickly flicking it away. Spine brought his own hand up to watch the way it moved, nowhere near as flowing as Lorra's, the pieces inside whirring and clicking when he made a fist and then uncurled it.

"Hey." His head shot up. Lorra was standing beside him, the repaired piece in one hand. "Are you ok?"

"Yes." He said hurriedly. "Yes, of course."

"Ok." She said with a friendly smile. "This should do. If not, you can always ask the Workers to fix it up better." Kneeling down again, she easily fit the metal plate back into place. "There. How does that feel?"

Spine stood up, bending and turning to test it. "Wonderful. I think it will do quite well. Thank you."

"No problem. Here, let me help you get your shirt back on." Once all his clothes were back in place, she led him to the door. "It something else like that happens, don't be afraid to come and ask me for help. That's what I'm here for, apparently. Now, I'm very tired, so goodnight for real this time, Spine." Just like with the other two, she reached up on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek.

This had sort of become a tradition with the band, to get kisses from their resident human before they retired for the night, so it didn't bother him at all. "And to you as well." Then he was gone. Lorra shook her head and closed the door.

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A/N: And there you have it, my dears. My first chapter of this story. My husband got me addicted to Steam Powered Giraffe, especially The Spine. It seems really strange to me that anyone should be attracted to a robot...but I can't help it. Something about a suave mofo with a deep, sultry voice is just...*shivers*

Anyway, next chappie up soon, because this story kept me up all night yesterday and I got no sleep because I have a serious plotline in mind for it.

AcaciaDawn105