Dealing With It – Part I
Tony walked over to Nina's desk with a scowl on his face. It was well after 1am and he wasn't happy being saddled with the night shift – it was supposed to be his day off tomorrow but his boss had cancelled it on him. Now Tony was taking his bad mood out on everyone around him.
Nina saw him coming and groaned inwardly, but she kept a neutral expression on her face and fixed her eyes squarely on her computer monitor. She just hoped he had a valid reason for coming over and wasn't just going to bend her ear about having to work tonight. She'd been called in too but wasn't complaining about it.
'Hey.' He perched, uninvited, on the edge of her desk.
'What's up Tony?'
'Oh nothing. I just wondered what the hell we've been dragged in here for. Thought you might have an idea.'
Nina sighed to herself. Obviously just bending her ear then... 'We're here because Jack asked us to be here. To work Tony. So maybe we should do that huh?'
'That's bull. There's nothing going on. Why'd he call us in to overhaul the systems? IT could do that tomorrow.'
'I don't know Tony. Maybe there's something coming in tomorrow and he doesn't want any system glitches holding it up. Why don't you ask him if it bothers you that much?'
Tony's eyes shifted up to Jacks office where the blonde head of their boss could be seen bent over his desk, engrossed in some files.
'I don't need to ask him Nina. I know why. He was supposed to clock out seven hours ago – and just because he's trying to work himself in to an early grave, he figures he'll take the rest of us down with him What the hell is his problem anyway?'
Nina thought she had a pretty good idea but wasn't about to share it with Tony. She too glanced up at Jack, then brought her eyes down to rest on her dark haired colleague.
'Tony I don't know! Its one night out of your life. Why don't you go do something, it'll pass the time.'
Tony's scowl deepened and he looked like he was about to say something else. He managed to bite it back at the last minute, got up and stormed back to his own terminal where he began bashing keys with a malice they didn't deserve.
Nina turned back to her screen, stifling a small smile. Tony was so emotional, it always entertained her. Oh, he was a nice enough guy – but he was like an open book sometimes. And he disliked Jack so much coming to work was almost fun. She got on well with both of them so she had a front row seat for most of the entertainment. Of course, she got more out of Tony – Jack definitely wasn't emotional. Not unless he was angry. But now she thought about it, anger seemed fairly synonymous with Jack these days...
She hit 'print' after she'd finished a batch of system updates that she'd been working on and went to get herself a coffee. After a second she had a thought, and poured a second mug –very strong with creamer, no sugar. Holding two mugs in one hand and retrieving the updates from her desk with the other, she made her way up to Jack's office. The door was open but he hadn't heard her come up the stairs.
'Knock knock.' His head jerked up at the sound of her voice. 'Got the next lot of overhaul results for you. You said you wanted to look them over before we sent them over to IT.' She handed them over and put the coffee down on his desk.
Jack ran a hand through his hair as his other one flicked the file open. 'Thanks Nina.' He didn't say anything else and seemed to be expecting her to leave. She didn't, just stood in front of his desk sipping her coffee. After a pause he noticed she was still there and looked up from the file. 'Was there something else?'
'Well, I was just wondering if you were OK Jack. I mean, its pretty quiet around here at the moment and your shift was over hours ago. Why don't you take off? I can hold the fort here until the day shift show up.'
Jack shifted uneasily in his chair. He WAS getting tired, he'd been working since 6am. But he didn't want to go yet...
'No, I'm going to stay a little longer. Those glitches in the system are becoming a problem and we can't afford to have them keep happening. I want to make sure we get rid of them once and for all.'
I bet you do, thought Nina. I bet it's nice and convenient too, having an excuse not to go home...
'Whatever you say Jack. But I can take it from here, really. You look like you could use some sleep and you're due back in a few hours anyway.'
Jack gave a tight smile and gave in. 'OK OK – I'll just look through these updates, then I'll go. Happy?'
Nina smiled back and headed for the door. Jack watched her go then called out as she got to the door. 'Nina?'
She looked back over her shoulder.
'Thanks for the coffee.'
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Jack finally left CTU at 2:30am when his eyes were threatening to close on their own. He said goodnight to Nina, ignored the scowl from Tony and walked slowly to the elevator that would take him to his car. He wasn't in any hurry – although surely Teri would be asleep when he got in. He hoped so anyway. He pulled out of the underground parking lot and headed towards Santa Monica, windows rolled down so the cool March air could blow into his face and help keep him awake. As was usual during his drive home, he tuned out the landscape around him and operated on autopilot while his mind wandered.
It was a year since Nightfall, the failed mission that seemed to have invaded his life, the nightmare that was never too far from his thoughts. The raw pain of it had abated, on the surface at least. Unfortunately, it had never gone away underneath and he was still haunted by images from that fateful night in Kosovo. He remembered well how he had promised himself he'd get to the bottom of what had happened, find out who had sold him and his team out...but he hadn't. Every time he tried he drew a blank, hit a dead end – and it was driving him crazy. The anger he'd felt at the time was nothing to what he felt now – it had formed a core in his mind that the rest of his emotions seemed to pass through on their way to the surface. As a result, he seemed to be angry about everything. He recognised this in an abstract sort of way but couldn't – or wouldn't – find a way to stop it. Sometimes he thought that being angry was the only way to make it through a day, it was like the energy that the rest of his body lived off.
But sometimes, like now, he was too tired to deal with it. 20 hour days, like the one he'd just pulled, were becoming more frequent. Jack didn't spend much time analysing why this was, but as he pulled into his driveway the tight knot in his stomach told him at least one reason why. He only got that knot when he came home.
He pulled his briefcase off the seat beside him, got out and walked to the front door. All the lights were off and the house was totally still. His tension calmed a little bit – obviously everyone inside was asleep. Jack opened the door as quietly as he could and took care not to make any noise when closing and locking it. He placed his briefcase on his desk in his office, then crept up the hallway towards his bedroom. A look inside – yes, she was asleep – and he walked into the bathroom, careful not to turn on the light or make any loud noises. And then, just as he was getting into bed....
'Jack?' He sighed silently.
'Yeah honey. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.'
Teri turned over to face him as he lay down on his back and said in a sleepy voice 'Where have you been? You didn't call....I was worried.'
Jack didn't answer for a moment. 'I'm sorry Teri. Things just got a bit hectic at the office. I didn't get a chance.'
'Mmmm...' She was drifting off again...but not before moving closer to him and putting an arm over his chest protectively. Teri slipped into a quiet slumber and Jack stared at the ceiling, wishing he could turn away from her, get her arm off him. He'd wait. Moving might wake her up again – and he didn't want that.
Teri breathed heavily in a comfortable sleep. Jack stared into the darkness without moving and listened to each second clicking by off the clock on his bedside table.