Tiny Alien Invaders from Space
Ahhh…..Calvin and Hobbes, this was my all time favourite childhood comic. I collected every book when I was a kid and read the books multiple times in my youth.
Looking back at after some years , it's nice I now understand some of the jokes a little bit better.
Some things never change though. Only two things really bugged me. I hated how Moe the bully never got his comeuppance.
Also one storyline involved Calvin selling Earth to two aliens for 50 alien leaves. I mean what happened after the leaf assignment was over? We never saw aliens invade, kill the president or "see Miss Wormwood sent to the plutonium mines." I mean the only storyline after that is they were freezing in the Winter and Hobbes gave the two aliens Christmas socks to warm them up.
Just two…..more aliens didn't come to complain…Just what happened?
So I figured I'd put together my own story.
2nd January 1996. Shortly after the final strip….
Calvin work up one morning with his tiger besides him in bed.
He looked outside his window, while there wasn't as much snow as yesterday. There was still a good amount of snow on the ground.
He woke up with his tiger friend, Hobbes.
"Hey, Hobbes. Wanna go sledding after breakfast?" He asked.
"Sure thing, there's some good hills we still haven't gone down." Hobbes replied.
After eating breakfast and getting the toboggan. Calvin and Hobbes headed for the hills, after going down one of the hills. They came across an unusual sight.
It was a rock.
An insanely huge rock with windows with a door.
"What the heck is this?" Calvin wondered. Calvin and Hobbes got up from the toboggan.
Curious…..Calvin knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" said a familiar voice.
"It's Calvin." Calvin replied back.
"Oh….the Earth Leader!" The door then opened to reveal Galaxoid and Nebular, the two aliens that Calvin had sold the Earth too for 50 alien leaves.
"Uh…hello." Hobbes waved.
"Greetings, earthlings!" Nebular greeted.
"Welcome to our home. How may we help you today?"
"Uh…how's the alien invasion?" Hobbes asked.
"Are you running the white house, now?" Calvin asked. "You can't do any worse than the politicians we have now." Calvin smiled.
"Where are your other buddies?" Hobbes asked.
"Oh, it's just the two of us." Nebular replied.
"Just the two of you? Where's your leader that you mentioned?" Hobbes asked.
"Uh…we made him up to make us sound menacing…" Galaxoid replied.
"Okay now I'm curious, just where are you two from?" Hobbes asked.
"Sigh…..I'm afraid human leader, we haven't been entirely honest with you."
Calvin folded his arms. "Go on…." He frowned.
"We're not from a place that has a huge population. We lived on a really small planet about the size of a small park. The only people living on it was us two." Galaxoid explained.
"We had a space ship though, so we were always travelling from one planet to another." Nebular continued.
"One time when we went grocery shopping. We came back to find our home was being destroyed by a huge meteor."
"Gosh…that's horrible." Said a saddened Hobbes.
"So we figured we'd do what was being done in movies and try to take over Earth." Said Galaxoid.
"I must say, I'm a bit disappointed. I thought we'd use our guns. " Nebular frowned. "Still thank you for giving us the Earth and for leaves! The planets we had to go to for them!"
"You're welcome." Calvin smiled.
"And for giving us warm socks!" Galaxoid smiled.
"No problem."
"Well this explains a few things….." Hobbes said
Calvin turned to Hobbes. "What things?"
"Aren't you curious why our lives seemed too normal after the leaf assignment was over?"
"I'm six. I barely think at all." Calvin replied.
Hobbes face palmed.
"How do you get on with other people?" Calvin asked.
"We don't interact with other people. We use our stealth technology to stay hidden."
"Stealth technology?" Hobbes said puzzled. "But we've found your home!"
"Nebular!" Galaxoid shouted "I told you to turn the machine back on, when you came home!"
"I did, the stupid thing must be acting wonky!" Nebular then picked up a screwdriver and headed for a small metal box in the wall.
"Ahhhh…..nuts. Looks like we'll both be busy repairing it, hey I appreciate the company, Earth leader, but it looks like we'll be at this box for a while."
"No problem, nice talking to you." Hobbes smiled. Calvin and Hobbes then turned and headed towards the door.
"Hey Earth Leader, you've been so kind to us. If there's anything we can do for you….."
Calvin then flashed an evil smile.
"Uh oh….I recognize that evil grin." Hobbes got nervous.
"Hey….do you aliens do experiments with people?" he asked.
"Yes we do. Usually with our people that annoy us though, not human people."
"How would you like to test experiments with someone who makes my life miserable?"
"Who did you have in mind?"
Moe the bully was walking down the street next day, he was going to the park to threaten little kids for money.
Once he got to the park. He was surprised to find no one around.
"Typical winter days." He frowned. "Everybody's staying inside."
Suddenly a beam of light appeared over Moe.
"What the?" said a surprised Moe.
The alien spaceship then turned off their stealth technology. Moe noticed the UFO.
"What in the….A UFO ! ! "
Moe got sucked into the spaceship. He appeared in a glass tube.
"What's going on here!?" He said scared.
Calvin, Galaxoid and Nebular then appeared. "Hello, Moe!" Calvin grinned.
"Twinky ! ? !" Moe said in shock.
"Now begins your life of torment, this is payback for all the bullying you've given me!" Calvin laughed.
"What are you going to do?" Moe shrieked.
"First of all you will be my alien friends' eternal slave. You will take care of their every need or you will suffer the consequences!"
"We're going to fit you with a device to your stomach, it will give you an electric shock whether you do something bad. And if you betray us in any way we will trigger it to explode, ending your life!" Galaxoid grinned. "Also if you try and take it off without permission, it will explode!"
"Hope you hated school and your family, because you're never seeing any of them again!" Nebular laughed manically.
Moe couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Calvin, I'm sorry! Please don't do any of this!"
"Too late." Calvin replied. "Let's begin the experiment!"
Knockout gas flowed into the glass tube, Moe was standing in and got knocked out unconscious.
Moe's eternal suffering was about to begin….
THE END.