any minute now all the perscription strenght sleeping pills she had snuck into the steven's food would be kicking in. she loved to watch rose... no... steven.. .she loved to watch steven sleep. and now she wouldn't have to wait between nights anymore. she was sure she had given the steven enough to last a life time at least.
just then, to her bewilderment, the steven died. his dreams shriveled up and sprinkled themselves upon the uncaring cosmos. any minute now garnet, greg and that weird purple thing that had started following them around recently would be there and find out about the stevens horrible condition.
pearl knew what she had to do. she picked up stevens corpse by his wrists and flung him about with a death grip on his cold limp limbs in a spasmodic parody of grace. soft upbeat new age kpop began playing that sounded like wii background music, pearl touched her pearly white gem to steven's and stearl became. stearl felt amazing and never wanted to defuse ever, not even on a motel holiday or some other time. but there was one problem. because steven wasn't alive like pearl stearl was dying from the start...!
stearl didn't know what to do. defusion seemed so horrible but at the same time death encroached from the bleak horizon of the future and sent her to quaking. "i must proceed with this foolhardy charade if the love i am is to be...fovermore."
the next morning uncle andy, rooting around for some tuna for his breakfast like a sulky theif, came upon stearl, who was laying on a hospital bed, nurses scurrying frantically around her while a dour face doctor tapped a clipboard and frowned pessimistically. "say," andy said poking his head out of the fridge, "what's going on here?" garnet and amethyst were sitting beside stearl, garnet was weeping and amethyst was patting her shoulder. that was when greg knew it was finalyl time to confront andy.
"Allright goddamn you, andy, you win. stearl is dying, there, i bet youre happy now. it's just like you always said."
andy spun about abruptly. the refridgerator door left splayed open, forgotten, behind him. "what the hell are you even talking about, greg?"
greg laughed with malicious sarcasm. "wouldn't you like to know. wouldn't you like to know." and left.
"i'm glad that's all settled then," said stearl and everyone came in for a hug. it was the first time that andy had ever been in close physical proximity to a gem and he became erect with nervousness. but it was all good. "i'm proud of you staerl," amethyst said in her husky discordant rasp. no one could barely hear her, they nodded along at parts that seemed to call for it and otherwise just sorta zoned out like they always did when amethyst spoke, or maybe she just made grunting gasping noises for fun, they weren't really sure anymore. neither was amethyst.
"you too have learned a lot of partnership and trust," said garnet, "i'm proud of you stearl, even if you're going to die."
"i never thought i could love a dying person before," andy said, trwisting his hat in his hands sheepishly. "you all sure have taught me a lot since i moved to faggot island, nah just kidding about that last part. but really, you guys are all right by me. and if steven has to die for love, then, gosh, that's pretty great. i love you."
staerl knew she could die with righteous tears in her eyes, "take that greg," she yelled loud enough so that the sulking "musician" could hear out on the beach where he was probobly kicking sea shells with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "this is what happens when you throw away my fry bits! and kill rose with your stupid penis. i hate my penis and i'm glad to die a dickless alien monster."
"well that's just great, now all the food is spoiled," said amethyst, three hours later. garnet had completely forgotten she wasn't alone, the strange noise made her jump, "mhm. that's great, whatcha got there amnethyst" garnet replied when she'd noticed that it had got inside again. then turned around so she wouldn't have to look at that stupid purple face anymore, that's when she noticed the fridge door had been open all morning and afternoon. "who lef the bloody door open?" garnet asked but then felt silly for speaking aloud to herself.
there was only one thing to do. garnet defused and while ruby watched from the closet sapphire hooked up with all manner of social brick a brack and miscreants. when they left andy would hastle them in the yard. finally five hours and about a bakers dozen hoodlums later sapphire was ready to give birth to her own steven.
the sun had sunk into the sea and stephen was finaly born. "wow," andy said, "he's beautiful, he'll fry up really nice. sorry about leaving the fridge door open and making your lady friend go through all that stuff with the hooking up with disgusting vermin in front of you and then dying." ruby didn't respond. she didn't respond to much these days.
"don't worry about it man," said amethyst, "stephen looks totally delicious it was totally worth it man."
"is... is this thing like tryin to speak to me or somethin?" andy asked greg while he nudged amethyst away with his foot like a mangy mongrel pup.
"i don't know brother and frankly i don't care." said greg and they slapped high five.
they laughed, happy to have finally gotten over their fued and tucked in to the best meal in their lives. stephens raw bleeding still warm flesh was delicious and chewy almost like bubblegum. it tasted like the best rare steak ever mixed with ice cream and sugar, "we should do this more often," greg said, rubbing his hands together greedily and eyeing the barn. somewhere in the distance pumpkin barked. "much more often."