[The name of my OC is Lydia Romanoff and is made up by me.]
Joker had no idea who I was.
I had just slipped into his circus by mere accident. I wasn't sure about who I was then, but after staying there for about a year, I realized that it didn't help me much on my journey to find myself at all. I just sailed back and forth like a deck rat onboard a ship over seas; meanwhile the metaphorical plague spread itself wordlessly among us all and people refused to speak of it. The traveling depression, the psychological instability, was like the alcoholic parent in a dysfunctional family. It was right there, devastating the entire family.
But people refused to speak of it.
I saw Joker step out from a wagon and right after both of his feet were touching the ground, I approached him.
"With all due respect sir, I must ask to hand in my notice and go on with my life."
I might have interrupted him in the worst moment.
Mere members of the Noa's Ark Circus weren't supposed to interact with the brightest stars of the family, particularly not with the leader himself. But since my wish was to leave the circus, minding the system wasn't a priority of mine. The reason I wanted my leave to be acknowledged was a selfish one: I would simply feel better saying it out loud and to be confirmed, particularly by the very person who was in charge for the entire spectacle I had gotten myself involved with.
That was my first time speaking to Joker but I had seen him almost every day since my arrival.
The tall man stopped and twirled around to face me properly. He looked surprised, almost like I had caught him doing something he shouldn't do.
I noticed his eyes taking my whole appearance in, and I could tell from his expression that he was trying to figure out my name, but I knew that was impossible.
Anyone could tag along the Noa's Ark circus if they wanted to. Even nameless people. But Joker and his closest friends only took great notice to the people who wished to be part of the grand show, and I was not one of those people.
"Oh, well I could give ye a formal invitation this evening together with a trial for thy obligatory audition if ye wish? What would yer particular talent be?" he asked, and that's when I realized how much of a deck rat I must've been these past months.
Joker had never even noticed me living and traveling with him and the rest of the bunch.
He thought I was a newcomer that wanted to join him.
"I don't wish to make a career here." I told him, taking no offence to his ignorance. "And I hate to tell you, but I'm not talented in anything, which might be one of the reasons that I have decided to leave. I've been here for a year."
A strong wind blew past us both, and our clothes danced in the air around our bodies.
Joker kept looking very surprised.
"A whole year yer say." he mumbled to himself.
"Why the sudden leave?" he asked, like he suddenly cared about me participating.
The purple coat over his shoulders stopped flapping as the wind settled down.
"I would just appear confusing and perhaps a bit mad if I told you about my wish to leave, since I truly love this way of life." I told him, feeling a genuine pain in my heart since that was the truth.
But all things in life have a bad side to them, and I suppose this particular sort of thing, the traveling depression, could be quite overwhelming on that score.
Joker looked at me for a long moment, deep in his own thoughts.
Then he said in a joyful and soft voice: "I have time."
And time was all that I had too.