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He finds her applying her waterproof mascara before going on stage. Finn takes a deep breath, unsure of what to say. This time last year he'd told her that he loved her. If he were to be honest with himself he still does, but too many bridges have been burned and there was no going back at this point … no matter how bad he may want to.
"Hey … break a leg," he says with a smile. She says nothing at first and only looks at her feet. She raises her head and looks to his reflection in the mirror.
"Last time we were here you told me you loved me," she utters coolly. Finn looks down and feels as if he's been punched in the stomach. He takes a deep breath, desperate to change the conversation as he looks back at her.
"I really like your song."
She turns around quickly to look him in the eye.
"Listen carefully, because I mean every word of it." She walks toward the stage as the announcer introduces the group. He's not sure what she meant. He's heard it and he thinks it's a great song. He shrugs and goes to the wing of stage right where he sees Mr. Schuester. The teacher smiles and nods as Finn turns to watch Rachel perform.
She stands there for a moment breathing it all in as she stares at the crowd. She hesitates, then looks to the pianist to give him his cue. The music starts and she inhales deeply. She takes hold of the microphone, as if it will help keep her knees from buckling. She feels small as she begins to sing and it comes out in her voice.
What have I done?
I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
She looks away from the spotlight that's shining down on her and spots her dads in the corner of the auditorium. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Brittany and Tina enter in front of the screen that's hiding the band.
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
Rachel looks back at the girls, thankful for their support and that she's no longer on the stage alone. She continues and begins to sing with more confidence.
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
She nods in affirmation as she sings, almost as a promise to herself. The past few months have been hard, but she knows that she can make it through. If you keep looking for that happy ending, then you are never going to get it right. Quinn's words echo in her head like a recurring nightmare, but she pushes them aside. Kurt has pointed out to her before that her idol Barbra Streisand made her biggest career moves while single, and so she would just have to do the same. The curtain rises to reveal the musicians. Her voice gains power as she continues.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
But how many times will it take
Oh how many times will it take for me to get it right
Finn stands there speechless. He's heard Rachel's song in rehearsal, sure, but he figured it was about her struggles in glee for solos and friends. He realizes that the song isn't about glee, it is about him. She wrote a song and is performing it in front of God and everybody about him … for him. He smiles a bit as he realizes that she still wants it to work, too, even if she hasn't been pestering him with apologies and following him everywhere he goes.
Mr. Schuester stands behind Finn watching everything take place. He sees as Rachel looks to Finn with desperation in her eyes for him to understand what she is trying to tell him. Finn is captivated by her.
He see Quinn behind Finn, obviously aware of the interaction that is taking place between Finn and Rachel. She is clearly hurt, but at the same time she doesn't look all that surprised. She'd been able to realize what, or rather who, the song was for the first time the group had rehearsed it.
Gaining both strength and confidence from seeing that Finn is watching her perform, she smiles and takes the microphone from the stand and pours her heart and soul into what she is singing.
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
That finally, someone will see
How much I care!
The rest of the girls enter in echoing the chorus. Rachel continues to belt out the words that she wrote for him.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
Finn is mesmerized. He has a grin on his face as he tries to keep the tears in his eyes from rolling down his cheeks. He loves her so much. This is her moment … this is what she was born to do, he thinks to himself. He's so proud of her and he knows she'll be a star one day, that it's just a matter of time. I don't need to hold her back- she needs to chase her dreams, he tells himself. But no matter what, I'll always be here for her. I love her too much not to be. He swallows hard to choke back tears as she continues to sing to the crowd that is as enamored by her as he is.
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
She stands there blankly for a moment as memories of her and Finn flood her thoughts. Her daze is broken when she hears the applause that the crowd is giving for the performance of her song. His song. She smiles as she introduces the group.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we're the New Directions!" she hands the microphone to a stage hand and lets out a small laugh as she joins the rest of the club. She'd gotten through the song and didn't cry- a first for Rachel Berry.
The second song is performed with perfection and Finn is standing next to Rachel as the song ends. He is so full of excitement and joy that he pulls her close as they stand on stage accepting the positive response from the crowd. It feels so good and so natural to be close to her, even if they aren't together as a couple.
Rachel smiles nervously as he pulls her in and her heart leaps in her chest. She looks up at him and their eyes meet with a knowing look before he looks at Quinn. He pulls away when he sees that Quinn has seen them mid-embrace from her place at the end of the stage. She sees that he loses the spark in his eyes at that moment, but clings to the heat she still feels from their hug even as her heart sinks.
When Rachel Berry gets home that night, she clutches her pillow close and cries herself to sleep. She may fantasize about a perfect ending, but her feet are still planted firmly in reality.
A/N: So how did everyone like "Original Song"? I couldn't help but to think about what Rachel and Finn were thinking about while she performed, so here we are. Enjoy! (R&R, please - reviews feed me muse :) )