There's no real excuse why I should.
But I just can't stop.
I can't shake the overtaking feeling of power before it floods my now virtually useless veins.
It feels as if every wrong that has ever happened to me is suddenly righted as I force another to experience what was my pain, my suffering, and my fear.
They wouldn't, they couldn't understand, even now.
The fury fills me, makes me whole. It powers me, flowing from my heart outwards like an electric current.
I watch smiling as an innocent life hangs in the balance. There are two options, and I am the decider. But I always choose the easy path, the sensible path. We can't risk exposure, or that's what Aro tells us.
Absolutely no new vampires unless he says so.
So I enjoy the fun while it lasts, not once regretting my choices.
There is just nothing more exciting, it's better than Christmas, even! And I get to experience it once, twice maybe three times a week if I'm lucky.
What little boy wouldn't want his greatest desires to come true?
Well it's like that for me.
You could argue, that I'm no little boy.
And you'd be right.
I'm more, better even.
I can do what I want, when I want.
Never to grow up.
Just like my favourite story, Peter Pan. Only this time it's for real.
The castle is my Neverland.
Jane, my bloodthirsty Tinkerbelle. My only true friend. My confidant. My family, my partner in crime.
It's like a dream come true, isn't it? Isn't it?
It's not the first time I've questioned it. I'm just a boy, lost forever, and swallowed by time.
I wonder this as I stare into the eyes of my next victim. I can see their soul staring through their eyes, boring into mine, begging for release. I watch as the venom paralyses him.
I watch with pleasure.
Then I take his life, laughing as my eyes turn red and my white shirt becomes stained. I enjoy it. I have no conscience.