They had laughed together. They cried together. They felt each other's joy. They felt each other's pain. They kissed. They hugged. One was never without the other in their arms. One never spent the night in a different room from the other. One never said "I love you," without hearing the other reply, "I love you more."
It was different that night. They didn't laugh, although one did cry. They didn't feel joy, although one felt pain. They didn't kiss or hug each other enough, and they regretted it. One said "I love you," and never heard the other respond.
They never got to fix that day. If they could have, they would have. They would have held each other tighter than ever and kissed each other more passionately than ever. They would have chosen to die in each other's arms.
But we only get one shot at each day we live, one chance to live.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"Do you think that the sun will come out today?" Lily asked James quietly as she parted the deep red curtains of the big picture window in their living room.
James joined her with their son sleeping in his arms. "Sure is a bad day for trick-or-treating," he sighed as he gently placed his son in his wife's arms.
She smiled at her sleeping son weakly and pulled his messy black hair out of his eyes. He was just over a year old now and was already living up to his father's legacies: trouble maker and the trade mark messy hair. "Are we taking Harry trick-or-treating?" she asked softly, looking into her husbands deep brown eyes.
James sighed and ran his hand threw his soft hair. "It wouldn't be safe, we can't risk being seen by anyone," he said. "I'm sorry. I know we have been cooped up in here for over two months, but we can't blow it now," he said.
Lily nodded and went back to staring out of the window. She liked to watch the children playing in the deserted streets in their colorful costumes, smiling at one another or bragging about how many treats they received so far. Her heart fell every time there was a knock on the door. She knew that she couldn't answer it. To the neighbor's eyes their house seemed like one of the haunted spooky ones in the movies, but every once and a while there was a knock on the door and a rustle of footsteps. No one could see her peering out of the window and into a world that she had once been a part of.
"I just wish for one second that we could just....be normal and answer the door and give the children candy," she said with a heavy sigh.
James sighed as he pushed her red hair behind her ears before wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Soon, love, soon," he whispered as he kissed Lily's cheek.
"I just feel like I am wasting my life, sitting here hiding like a turtle in its shell. I want to fight with everyone else," she said as she walked up the stairs and into the beautifully decorated nursery to lay Harry down for his nap.
"I know, but there is nothing we can do right now at this point in time," James said as he chased Lily down the stairs.
"I'd rather be out fighting! They are looking for us! They are killing innocent people to find us. It just doesn't seem right. Why are we so important?" she asked as she pulled an un-expecting James into a tight hug.
He rubbed her back with his hands. "Nothing is clear to me at this point. I know that we were told to stay here, no matter what, so that is what we are going to do," he said as he broke out of the hug and held onto her hand. "At least we're here together," he said as he kissed her hand lovingly.
"Yeah," she laughed slightly as his lips tickled her hand.
"Come on, it's time for lunch and I am starving. What is the master chef cooking today?" James asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
"The master chef has Thursdays off, remember?" Lily teased.
"Right, so we are looking forward to a rather sucky lunch then?" he said as he pulled open the fridge.
"What are you talking about? Last week's pasta was amazing," she protested as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"That came from a box. There isn't anything left in here that comes from a box," James said.
"Then I guess the master chef could settle for just a half day off and just this once!" Lily said as her husband smiled at her lovingly. "But you have to help me."
"Of course flower!" he said.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The air was soon full of the smell of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and herbal tea. Lunch was a success, even though it wasn't that elaborate. Harry was up and bouncing around in his highchair as he played with his blue checkered bib and ignoring the spoon that his mother was holding in front of his face. Lily sighed as she took the remainder of her sandwich and popped it into her mouth. "I would suggest taking the bib off of him, but then he would just get the food all over himself," James sighed as he grabbed the container of baby food from Lily.
"He always does this. What is so interesting about that bib in particular?" she asked, sounding frustrated.
James touched her hand lovingly with his as he tried to feed Harry with his other. He put a triumphant look on his face as Harry opened his mouth for the peas. "Uh James..."
"No see, he is eating it!" James said as Harry swirled it around in his mouth.
"James-"
Harry laughed as he covered his father's face with the peas that had been in his mouth seconds before. "Don't – say – anything," he said as he wiped his face off with a napkin.
Lily laughed into her tea cup as James examined his face in his spoon to see if there were any remaining peas on it. "I think Harry has had enough to eat," Lily said finally.
James took him out of his highchair as Lily magically cleared the dishes from the table. "Let's see if he'll walk for us today," she said as she took Harry from James and walked into the living room.
James sat on the floor across from Lily as she steadied Harry in front of her. "Come on Harry go walk to daddy," James coaxed as Harry laughed at him.
"I don't know James," Lily said as Harry fell on his bottom.
"Give him a chance Lils," he said as Harry tried to pull himself to his feet.
James' jaw dropped as Harry sloppily walked over to Lily with his hands out to wrap around her neck. "Mommy!" he said as he got his hands tangled in her hair.
"So he walks to you, but not to his father. That's just peachy," James said as he scooted over to Lily and Harry.
"Hey Harry, what do we do to mommy?" James asked with a glint in his eyes.
"No! James please! I just ate!" she said pleadingly as James' grin grew on his face.
"Tickle! Tickle!" Harry screamed as he poked his mother's stomach with his finger.
"That's my boy," James said as he tickled Lily's side.
"Stop! James!" Lily laughed as she fell onto the ground behind her.
"Tickle mommy!" Harry squealed as James jumped on top of her.
Harry started poking his mother's feet as she continued to laugh hysterically with tears pouring down her face. Harry was laughing as well when he saw his mother's laughing face looking at him.
"Please James!!" she yelled for the last time.
James stopped abruptly and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I was just having a bit of fun Lils," he said as she hit him lightly.
"Sure," she said as she folded her arms across her chest and looked away from James.
"Harry was mommy having fun?" he asked.
Harry looked at him blankly before laughing and poking Lily's foot again. Lily laughed slightly as she sat up and picked up her son and kissed his forehead. "How a bout you get tickled now?" she suggested as she tickled his stomach lightly.
"I think someone needs to get changed first," James said as he held his nose.
Lily nodded and brought him upstairs just as the doorbell rang.
James went to look out of the front window to see who it was. He knew that they couldn't see him looking at them, but he needed to know who it was. "What the hell is Peter doing here? He knows that he has the power to apparate in here, he is the only one who knows where we are," James sighed as he went over to the door.
His hand paused over the handle. If he opened the door he was warned that a signal would go off and the whole world would know where he was hiding. He looked out at Peter who could see him as he was their new secret keeper. He looked scared and nervous. "Let me in!" he squeaked.
"Pete, you know the rules, I can't open the door," James said.
Peter's mouth formed into and 'o' before he apparated into the house. "Sorry bout that mate, I keep forgetting," he said innocently.
"We just finished lunch, so if you are looking for a meal you're out of luck," James teased.
"No, no, I was just checking up on you three that is all. Where are Lily and Harry?" he asked.
"Upstairs. Harry had to get his diaper changed so Lily is doing that now," James said as he invited his friend into the living room.
"I have to be going soon, I just came to see how everything was and to give you this nice bag of candy that I collected from the neighbors," Peter smiled lightly as he drew an orange bag out of his cloak.
James smiled. "Thanks. Are you sure you can't stay a while?" he asked as Lily came down the stairs.
"No, I really can't stay," Peter said nervously.
"Any news from outside?" Lily asked eagerly as she placed Harry down on the floor.
Peter smiled at her weakly. "The same as every day, muggles dying and our numbers being captured and tortured," he said while shaking his head in dismay.
Lily sighed. "Thanks anyway Peter. Have fun at Sirius' annually Halloween party tonight," she sighed as she gazed out of the window again.
"Actually Sirius can't have his party without his godson and his best mate and best mate's wife," Peter sighed.
James sighed. "Another thing ruined on our behalf."
"I'll see you all later," Peter said after a moment of silence.
"There might be some tea left in the teapot; please have some before you leave Peter," Lily said as she walked upstairs to the bathroom.
Peter nodded. "I'll let myself out then," he said as James followed Lily up the stairs.
"Whenever your ready," James said. "You can grab a bite to eat if you'd like as well," he offered.
"I think I will actually," Peter smiled at James.
James smiled back and walked up to his room and flopped on his bed where Harry was laying, playing with his toes.
Zzzzzz
Peter finished the last of the tea and helped himself to a slice of cheese from the fridge before walking slowly over to the front door. All he had to do was push it open and his job would be over. He could go home and start his life all over as it was promised he would be able to. He just had to do this one last thing for his master.
He held his breath as he slowly opened the door. There was a soft click that was heard by his master a hundred miles away. His master smiled and tapped his fingers together before thinking about what he was going to do that night.
Zzzzzzzz
"I'm just a little frustrated right now," Lily said as she sat with her head in her hands on the bed.
"I really didn't mean to wake Harry up from his nap," James apologized.
"It wasn't a nap James! He was sleeping for the night!" Lily said, rather harshly.
"I said I was sorry, and I meant it Lils," James said.
"I know, I just wanted to get some sleep for once," she said as she picked Harry up off of the carpeted floor.
"I know Lily I just-"
"You just had to let the snitch go in the house and go rampaging around trying to catch it?" she finished for him.
"Lily come on-"
"You can stay with Harry tonight, I am sleeping in his room," she said.
James sighed. He knew she was over reacting about this, like she always did when he decided to act before he thought. He was glad now that Harry was up. Now he would have someone to stay awake with at night. He couldn't sleep without Lily next to him. It was going to be a long night.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"James!" Lily said as she walked into her room where James was laying awake next to a sleeping Harry.
"What?" he asked.
"I heard something downstairs," she said nervously.
James bolted out of bed. "You know what this means Lily?" James whispered as he heard the sound of breaking china from the front hall.
Lily nodded and grabbed Harry with her shaking arms. "James I-"
"I have to go see what it is. Stay here with Harry," he said as he left the room.
"James-"
"Just stay here," he repeated as he walked down the stairs, his wand out.
Lily nodded at the air and drew in a deep breath as she sat on the bed. She held Harry close to her as tears rolled down her face. She and James had discussed what should happen when this moment came around. She was to wait upstairs with Harry close to her and run when given the cue from James. She hated waiting. Especially since she knew she might never see James again.
She saw the light go on down stairs and she heard the sound of James' voice talking with another man. The other man sounded evil and cold. "Where are they?" the voice rang out.
"I won't let you hurt any of us!" James screamed.
"I don't want you or your mudblood wife! All I am interested in is little Harry. If you give him to me now, you won't hear from me, personally, ever again. Your family won't get touched on my command," the stranger's voice said.
"There is no way you are getting my son!" James yelled again.
Lily grabbed her wand and laid Harry down in her closet before she headed slowly down the carpeted stairs.
"You're making this harder than it should be," the man sighed.
Lily reached the stairwell and concluded that the voices were coming from the front hall. She slowly made her way over to the entrance of the front hall, being careful not to be seen or heard.
"I'm not giving you my son!" James yelled furiously.
The man shook his head. "I thought this might happen. Maybe you just need a bit of persuasion," the man said.
He smiled and spun around, pulling Lily out from behind the room divide. "STOP!" she screamed.
His face was thin and tired looking and he had tiny red slits fro eyes. She was looking at Lord Voldemort. He just laughed at her. "Your husband doesn't seem to be getting my message," he whispered to her. "You're going to help me get it across to him. This may hurt more than a little, I am sorry," he said as he raised his wand.
"Don' you dare-" James started.
"Crucio!" Voldemort said lightly.
The pain was so excruciating that Lily didn't even notice that she had fallen to the floor. The tears in her eyes clouded her vision and the sound of her own screaming blocked out anything that James was saying.
She felt James hand on her face and she realized that the curse had been taken off of her. She wiped her eyes and grimaced when she stood on her feet. "Lily are you alright?" James asked her.
"James! He's going upstairs!" Lily screamed.
James spun around and headed up the stairs glancing back at Lily, wanting so dearly to run back and kiss her, but he knew he couldn't; he had to save his son.
After a few minutes of leaning up against the wall, Lily grasped her wand firmly in her hand and dragged herself up the stairs. She walked slowly and carefully again, avoiding the third step from the top as it squeaks. A hand clamped over her mouth and pulled her into the linen closet. She was about to scream when her kidnapper kissed her on the head. She let out a sigh of relief; it was James.
"James-"
"Shhhh..." he said.
James pressed his ear to the door to listen for any sign of Voldemort. "Listen to me James-"
James silenced her again. "Shhhh...we have to make a run for it now. Find Harry and meet me at the front door, I'll hold him off long enough so you can get there," he whispered urgently.
"James...what if....what if..." Lily broke off.
"Don't worry about it. Jus get you and Harry out," he said as he caressed her hand lovingly.
"James I just have to say one thing-"
"NOW!" James said as he pulled open the closet door.
Lily stood helplessly for a few seconds. "I'm sorry James. I am sorry for making you sleep alone. I am sorry for everything," she whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.
She ran out of the closet and went into her room to her own closet to retrieve Harry like James had told her to. Luckily Harry wasn't much of a crier so he didn't attract attention to himself. She scooped him up and brought him downstairs again to where James was having a duel with Voldemort. Lily held her breath as she waited at the top of the stairs.
Flashes of light were illuminating the stairwell. She bit her lip before running into Harry's room and putting him in his crib. "I love you sweetie and I promise I'll come back for you. Daddy needs me," she said as she turned away from her son.
She held her breath as a familiar flash of green met her eyes. She knew what curse caused that flash, the killing curse. She ran into the entry of the front hall and let out a sigh when she saw that James was still standing. Lily's mind went wild. She had to do something to help him. She pulled out her wand and cast the first curse that came to her mind.
James moved in the way and went into a fit of laughter. "Thank you Lily! This will make my job a whole lot easier!" Voldemort cackled.
Lily's mind froze. What had she just done?! "James!" she screamed as Voldemort raised his wand for the last time.
James was laughing hysterically, holding his side. He was crying and Lily knew that he wasn't crying because of his inconsolable laughter, he was crying because he knew he was going to die. There were so many things he needed to tell Lily. There were so many things he wanted her to know. He closed his eyes and turned to face his enemy, shutting off Lily's last resort to knowing what he was thinking, his eyes, the door way to his soul.
"Last chance, give me your son!" Voldemort said.
This wasn't fair. Lily's mind froze again, not knowing what to say. "Lily! Don't worry about me!" James managed to say. "Don't you ever give this bastard our son!"
Voldemort's eyes narrowed making them look like a pen mark traveling down his face. He raised his wand and Lily saw another flash of green light.
Lily saw her husband falling to the ground in slow motion. He was smiling and his eyes were closed. She found herself screaming as loud as she could. She lunged forward and caught him before he hit the ground. "James! No! James! I love you!" She sobbed as she cried all over his face.
She saw Voldemort standing behind her, just watching as she cried. "You should be saying your sorry. If you hadn't cast that tickling jinx he would have beaten me," Voldemort said as he played with his wand.
Lily cried even harder. "So do you want to give up your son to me now? You can live, you can walk away from this big mess," he offered.
Lily looked up and said, "He died for our son. He died for me. I would be disgracing his memory by giving up."
She apparated to Harry's room and picked him up, hoping that Voldemort wouldn't hear the crack from upstairs. She wasn't so lucky. He heard and was at the nursery door in a flash.
"Harry I love you. I'll always love you Harry!" she said.
"Love won't save him silly girl!"
"Have mercy! Please! Can't you just kill someone else? Spare my child!" Lily screamed.
"That can be arranged," Voldemort said thoughtfully raising his wand.
Lily sobbed even harder. She had sealed her own doom. She was the someone else that he was going to kill. "Harry I love you! Your father loved you too! He died to save us! Now I have to die to save you!" she screamed. "I will always love you!" she said as she kissed the top of her son's head.
"I hate to interrupt, but it is time for you to go and join your husband," Voldemort smiled as he raised his wand at Lily.
She drew in a deep breath and reflected briefly on how many things she wanted to change about her life. This day. She wanted to re-live this day. She wanted to spend the night in James' arms and kiss him and hear him say 'I love you'. She wanted to kiss him one last time. She wanted to die by his side. She whished she had never tried to help him duel Voldemort. It was her fault that he died. She wanted to say that she was sorry. She wanted to say 'I love you' just one last time.
"Are you ready?" Voldemort asked.
Lily shook her head. "I want this day back," she whispered.
"Sorry?" Voldemort said, trying to tease her.
"I WANT THIS DAY BACK!" she screamed.
"I am afraid that is not possible my dear," he said.
"I want to live this day again!"
"It would have the same outcome," he said, getting slightly annoyed.
"I want to fix this day," she sobbed. "I want to fix my life."
Voldemort rolled his eyes. 'Just kill her now, just do it,' he thought to himself.
He raised his wand and killed the woman standing in front of him as he heard her say her last words, "I love you Harry."
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Every night since I was little my father has told me this story, and every night I ask why he tells me it. He never answers, just walks out of the room and says, "You can learn from it, some day you'll understand like I do. Some day you'll understand what it means."
A/N- Hope you liked this one shot!!! No, I'm not writing anything before or after it, just a one shot. Actually this was an experiment to see how people will react to this sort of ending to the 'Lily James' era. This is an extremely watered down version of the ending I am writing to my fic Fate, I just want to see how people like it. So review!!