Star Wars – fanfiction
Rating: G (At least this part, no sexual content or violence)
Disclaimer: Ok, these characters are not mine, they belong to George Lucas, Lucasfilm, Fox... I know that, I just borrowed them for a little while, please don't sue me for it, k? :)
Summary: After the final battle, Luke isn't feeling fully happy. He is unsure what everyone will think of him when they learn about who his father is...
Revelations and Discoveries - Part 1
By: Emma Rådahl
It was the day after the Rebels final victory against the Empire, after the death of the Emperor and the return of Anakin Skywalker.
Down on the moon of Endor, everybody slept, exhausted after the celebration the previous day. That is, all but one.
Luke Skywalker was restless. All night, he had tried to sleep, to at least get some rest, but it had proven to be an impossible task, even with some help from the Force.
Everybody was happy, then, why couldn't he feel the same joy? After all, he had succeeded in turning Anakin Skywalker back to the Light; he had reasons to feel happy. But, he didn't. Something was troubling him, and he knew what it was.
How could he ever tell everybody that Anakin, or Vader, as they would refer to him, was his father? He had told Leia, thank the Force, but she was his sister, and through that bond would always understand him better than anybody else.
But the rest. Would they view him as a traitor, or as a freak? He couldn't blame them, after all, Vader had done countless horrible acts, hurt more people than he would ever know of, how could he expect them to trust him? They hadn't been on the Death Star and watched Vader turn and once again become the Jedi Anakin Skywalker, and what people hadn't seen themselves, they most often didn't believe.
And Han, what would he think? This was one of the thoughts that haunted him the most. After what Vader had done to Han, how would he react to this news?
He was afraid.
"A Jedi is not afraid. Fear is a path to the dark side", a voice inside of him said. Nevertheless, he was afraid. Who wouldn't be? To lose all one's friends, all their trust and love, who in the whole galaxy would not fear such a prospect?
This was what had troubled him all night. He had tried everything, tried to contact Ben for guidance, tried to get a glimpse of what the future had to bring, but nothing.
He was all alone, with no help in sight.
Luke had given up the thought of sleeping when the sun had begun to rise. Instead, he had gotten up, and was now slowly wandering through the forest to think, which was not as easy as he had imagined, but then again, what had been the last few years?
He sighed. So much had changed during these years. He was no longer the stargazing farmboy with huge dreams for the future, who counted the days until he could leave his uncle's farm. Now, he was a Jedi, " a guardian of peace in the galaxy". Peace. Would there ever be such a thing, he wondered?
After what he had seen and experienced the last years, it would be a long way to travel. Everything had been so easy before. Get up, clean some droids, work some hours, eat, and go to sleep.
Well, that was then, and this is now, he thought. It wouldn't help him to get lost in old memories. He had to focus on the "now", and the now was to find a way to deal with his troubles.
Luke decided that he first had to tell his closest friends the news about him being Vader's son. If they could accept it, and support him, it would be easier to tell the rest. He knew that this solution had him tell Han first, the person and friend he most feared to lose, but this was the only way it could be done. A thought formed in the back of his head;
"What if Han leaves, what if he won't ever trust you again?", but he quickly chased it away. No time to think about that now.
He took a deep breath, half-succeeding to calm himself with the help of the Force, and started walking back towards the Ewok village, where the rest where.
As he got closer he could see that everybody had gotten up, and was eating some kind of breakfast, which smelled quite good.
As he entered the village, he saw Han and Leia, who were coming towards him.
"Morning, kid!", Han said, with the usual cheerfulness the Corellian owned. "Thought you had left on some Jedi business without even eating some breakfast! Wanna have some, by the way? It's rather good, although the rations are for these small Ewok-types. I'll tell ya, Chewie had some trouble getting enough, after his fourth plate, they probably thought he was going to eat it all!" Han laughed, but Leia was soon to counter;
"Really? Well, if that is the case, they probably thought the same about a certain Corellian I happen to know!".
This remark made even Luke smile a bit, but since he didn't really feel happy, the smile soon disappeared, something Han was quick to notice.
"Hey, Luke, what's up? Something troubling you? You don't look like someone who's just beat the whole Empire, and destroyed Vader and the Emperor almost single-handedly! What's the matter, kid?"
Luke lowered his gaze. This was not going to be easy, not at all.
"Han…", he started. "We've got to talk. There's something I have to tell you, something important. You might not like it, but I feel it is necessary for you to know."
There, he had at least said this. Now it was no turning back.
Han's smile disappeared at once, and instead a more troubled look entered his face.
"Yeah, sure, who am I to argue with the feelings of a Jedi?", he tried to joke, but there wasn't much joy in his voice.
Luke sensed the drastic change of emotions in his friend, and winced a bit inside. Was this truly the only way it could be done, he wondered? Yes, answered that other voice, this is the only way.
"You sure you don't want any of this food?", Han asked.
"Yes, Han, I'm quite sure about it. I'm not really hungry, anyway", Luke answered him. It was true; he wasn't at all hungry, even though he hadn't eaten really much during the last days. Worrying did that to you, he knew, took away your appetite.
Luke started walking away from the village, and Han understood he should follow the young Jedi. He turned to Leia.
"I'll be right back, honey. Save some food, will you? I don't understand Luke's eating habits, I guess, but mine are: When hungry, eat. And with all running around I've been doing the last few days, I'm starting to feel constantly hungry."
Leia smiled back at him.
"Sure, Han."
Han gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, then frowning, asked;
"You know what's troubling him? He looked really terrible, like something's really eating at him."
Leia shook her head,
"No, I don't."
That wasn't completely true, she knew, as she watched Han walk away in the same direction as her brother. She was, after all, Force sensitive, and that in combination with what Luke had told her before going away to face Vader, made her understand that he was about to reveal the same thing to Han, about Vader, or rather, Anakin Skywalker being his, no, their father.
This was still a fact that she had great trouble to face, and to accept, that this man, who had done so much evil, could be her father.
She had at first totally rejected the idea, but Luke had explained for her that Vader wasn't really Anakin, just something that had taken over Anakin, and held the true man back for many, many years. He had also told her that Anakin at the end had won the battle, and crushed both the evil that was Darth Vader, and killed the Emperor. These were facts she could understand, and accept, and building on this, she had begun her journey of accepting the full truth.
She just hoped that Han could understand, but she wasn't totally sure. He wasn't Force-sensitive, and therefore saw things from a different angle. She truly didn't know what he would think of her, after all, she was Vader's daughter. He might reject her. This was something that scared her, to have found a true love, and have that love crushed.
No, she most certainly hoped that Han would understand. She turned, and went back to the breakfast and to the happy Rebel soldiers. She was a diplomat, and her work had just begun, it was time to discuss the future with some of the other leaders of the Rebellion forces.
Luke didn't know exactly where he was going, just that he needed to talk to Han someplace quiet, away from the rest. The both friends walked in silence for at least an hour, before Han broke in.
"Hey, Luke, I don't know about you, but I think this place is as good as any for this…conversation, or whatever it is. You know, the forest has looked exactly the same for the last fifteen minutes, and I really don't think it's going to change all that much during the next fifteen. So, kid, what is it you'd like to tell me, that is important enough to walk around half this moon for?"
Luke looked up at him.
"Sorry, Han, I guess I lost track of time there for a while. You're right, this place is as good as any."
Han nodded, seeing that Luke seemed to tense up a bit.
"Relax, kid, don't get all hyped on me, you know, it's me, Han, your buddy here, not some council or anything. You can tell me whatever, I mean, we have gone through some pretty rough years together in this Rebellion thing, and if I had planned to leave, I would have done so long ago, you know."
Luke smiled, relaxing some at these words.
"Thanks, Han, I needed that. What I am going to say is not easy for me, since I myself have had a difficult time taking it to me, understanding fully what it meant."
He took a deep breath.
"You might remember that I really wasn't all myself when we met in Jabba's palace, and afterwards. As if something troubled me."
Han nodded.
"Yeah, you're right. I first thought I imagined things after that carbonite freeze Vader put me through, but you have been acting a bit strange lately, distant in a way, like you've had something on your mind that you couldn't tell anybody."
Luke sighed inside. At the mention of Vader, he had felt the Corellian tense up really much.
"Well, Han, that is quite true. You know, at Bespin, after you had been put into the carbonite, I faced Vader, alone."
Han's eyes narrowed at this.
"Did he do something to you? Blast it that I wasn't there, I should have shot him or something. That bastard."
Luke closed his eyes. No, this was not going to be easy.
"Han, it was I who chose to face him, it was my choice. I thought I had enough training. That's not the point. The fact is, I faced him, and we battled. I wasn't that terrible, either, I even wounded him. But, he was stronger than I, and forced me back towards a pit. He succeeded in disarming me by slicing my hand which I held my lightsaber off."
Han looked terrified.
"By the gods, Luke, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. That's so like Vader. Force it, I really should have been there."
Luke shook his head.
"Han, there would have been nothing you could have done. But this is not why I wanted to talk to you. I need you to just listen when I go on, or else I'll probably never will be able to tell you. OK?"
Han nodded.
"He, Vader, also told me something at Bespin. At first, I just thought he was trying to weaken my defenses, but I now know that it was true, what he told me.
Luke closed his eyes and continued.
"He told me that he…is my father."
At this, Han reacted.
"Your father?!"
Luke continued to have his eyes closed. So, he had told Han, and by the sound of it, Han didn't like what he had heard. I should have known, Luke thought. It was stupid of me to tell him now, I should have waited. Now he's probably lost what trust he had in me.
He opened his eyes. At least Han was still there. Always something. He began speaking, quite rapidly.
"Yes, my father. Look, Han, I know this is not easy to hear, and I understand if you wish to go, or if you wish not to be my friend now that you know. I just.."
Han frowned when he heard this, and broke in.
"Whoa, Luke, slow down a bit here. So, Vader is your father. But you are not Vader. Sometimes I even wonder if he was. But I must've missed something here. Why shouldn't I want to be your friend, or whatever you said?"
Luke looked at him, not really knowing what to think.
"Well, you know, with him being my father, perhaps some would think of me as a freak, and turn away, and I thought that…"
Han suddenly understood what Luke was afraid of. That he would be all alone just because of who he was. Poor kid.
"Luke, listen. You are a really nice kid, but sometimes you just think too much. You're still the same farmboy who have fought with the Rebellion during the years, no matter who your father may be."
Luke smiled. He felt happy to hear these words, happier than in a long, long time. But there was something more he had to tell Han.
"There's something else, something that also must be known. Up there, at the Death Star, I was dying. The Emperor understood I wouldn't be turned to the Dark side, and decided I was too much of a risk. He was really close of killing me with some kind of Dark Side lightning, and I wouldn't have made it out of there if it hadn't been for my father. You see, Han, I had felt that he still had some good in him, buried deep inside in the man Anakin Skywalker, which is my father's true name. Somehow, that good man must have found the strength to defeat Darth Vader, because I suddenly realized that the lightning had disappeared, and I saw how my father threw the Emperor to his death in a bottomless pit. This also killed my father, because when the Emperor understood what was happening, that Darth Vader was gone, he attacked him instead of me. He died, but he died as a Jedi."
Han had stopped moving while Luke talked. He stood in front of the younger man, gaping.
[Update Starts Here]
"Luke, kid, this…"
He shook his head, trying to sort out what he had just been told, trying to get some logic into it.
"This is truly amazing, this what you're telling me. But, I don't… I mean…why.."
Han silenced for a moment, realizing that his words didn't make much sense. After taking in a rather deep breath, he continued.
"What I'm trying to say is.. why did he change? It really doesn't make much sense to me, even if I'm truly glad he did, don't get me wrong here, kid, but…? I mean, with the Rebellion crushed, and you dead, the galaxy must've been quite safe for him."
Luke nodded.
"Yes, I guess so. That is a question I have been asking myself too, a lot. I think… you know I told you I had sensed that he still had some good in him?"
"Yeah?"
"I think that that good finally found its way through him, to the surface. I guess that when he saw me laying there, almost dead by the lightning produced by the Emperor… I might have reminded him of himself when he was younger, not willing to face the enslavement of anyone. I think he finally saw, that even so powerful as he was, he still was a slave under the Emperor and the Dark Side. I don't think that he had thought about it that way before. You know Han, my father was one of the Jedi who helped abolish slavery on many planets in this galaxy, including Tatooine, where he and his mother once were enslaved. Ben once told me that it was one of the paths that led him towards the Dark Side, because with the… support of Palpatine, the man later to become Emperor, he had, without even realizing it, begun to use the Dark Force through an increasing hatred towards the slave-owners… he really couldn't stand slavery. And then to suddenly realize that he had lived as a slave voluntary, unknowing, most of his life… Well, that's quite a realization, wouldn't you agree?"