Be warned, there may possibly be spoilers and this is a bit darker story so just letting you know, it's not light.

Author Note: Okay so I wanted to take a break from my story, Bad Day and I'm currently stuck! DAMMIT! Yes I cussed, lol I'm a potty mouth. So anyways, after reading some of the spoilers coming up for the cliffhanger of CSI NY I decided wouldn't it be nice to make Flack suffer, and show kind of a darker side of Flack that we never get to see out of the much collected and calm detective we so much enjoy loving and watching. Don't worry I'll put him back the way he's suppose to be at the end of it, I promise you this…or maybe….not.

Let Go

I feel so alone - again.
I know that I need you...
To help me make it through the night.
Cuz I pray that you... believe - in me.
You gave me my strength...
To face another day alone.

Danny Messer pounded on the door, the sound of his fist connecting with the fake wood vibrated so much that it echoed down the quiet hallway. It felt at any second the door itself would cave in under its own support and hinges and allow him entry way. But it held firm and when his hand felt raw he stopped. Waited. Hoping that by making such a commotion outside he'd get some kind of response from his friend, anything would do. Even if that meant swearing him off, or even just opening the door just to slam it in his face again Danny would take that.

But silence filled the air, and no matter how much he strained his ears to listen, he could detect no movement coming from within inside the dwelling. Sighing, he wondered if he should try back another time, when he came up with a better battle plan, when he couldn't be deterred away. But as Danny was about to leave he stopped at the last second and placed his hand on the door knob and turned it. Unlocked!

Danny swallowed hard as he then pushed through the entrance, shutting the door behind him. Darkness assaulted his eyes as he got further in but he found that he was adjusting rather quickly.

"Don?"

Wincing at his own voice, he wondered if he had even said that loud enough for anyone to even hear him. But as he walked into the living room he found what he had been searching for. The controlled and smartass Detective Don Flack was sitting in front of Danny, not even acknowledging his presence. It was as though Danny was a figment of Flack's imagination and at any minute would disappear and be another lost memory.

Danny not being able to take it any longer standing in the dark, reached over to where the lamp was and turned it on. That was when he was finally able to get a good glance of his friend and was really haunted at what he was seeing. This person in front of Danny was not Flack, but a simple husk of the person he once knew. The body that sat in front of him was broken down and had seen their world come to an end, and it broke Danny's heart that he couldn't fix it for his best friend.

Glancing around, Danny saw beer bottles littering the carpet. Moving up to the clothes that Flack was wearing, it looked as though he had stayed in the same outfit for the last week or so. Which that was completely out of character for his clean cut image that he always kept. Taking in his features Danny noticed Flack's pale skin contracted against the dark circles that were under his eyes, that were also very puffy.

Then Danny saw it. The gun. It was as though it was staring right at him almost winking at him. There was only one reason why that weapon was out of it's holster and resting on Don's lap. Danny's eyes then caught Don's eyes who then took a swig of his beer who than shrugged.

"I tried….but I couldn't."

Danny noticed how tired and scratchy Flack's voice was. It was as though Flack hadn't even used his voice since her death. It was as though he had lost it somehow and couldn't muster the strength to even try and find it.

For once Danny was at a lost of words, trying to figure the best way to approach this situation without saying the wrong thing. Nothing would be worse then to set Flack off when he was in such an emotional state of mind. Then again what do you say to someone that had experienced what Don had? Danny had never experienced what Flack had gone through, so how could Danny even begin to relate to him.

"I still see her blood on my hands," Flack began speaking surprising Danny as he filled the void of silence that had taken over the room, "no matter how many times I have scrubbed my hands, I can't seem to get this image out of my head. Her blood everywhere."

Flack took another swig of his beer and found it was the last drop of it and Danny watched as he nonchalantly dropped it on the floor to clank against another beer bottle where it then found its resting place. Reaching over to the pack that was sitting on the stand Flack grabbed another one and popped it opened and took a long swig, as though he had been dying of thirst.

Danny finally sat down across from Flack and shook his head. "You can't do this to yourself man." His eyebrows went down in frustration, trying to think the next line he wanted to tell his friend. Nothing would be worse then hitting the wrong nerve with Don. He wasn't in the emotional state to handle a foot in the mouth comment that Danny was notorious for. "You can't continue beating yourself up like this, I know your hurting but…there was nothing you could do."

Then Danny saw Flack's features go cold staring directly at Danny with piercing blue eyes, "You would know how? Do you know what its like to watch someone you love die in front of you? Die in your arms as they bled to death? Tell them lies that everything is going to be okay when really there not a God Damn thing you can do to stop it."

Silence, Danny was speechless. He wanted to say he understood what it was like but that was so far from the truth. Before Danny's mind could catch up and think of something plausible to say to his friend in need, Flack continued. "I didn't think so," he took another drink of his beer, "so don't pretend like you know or you relate because it would be bullshit anyways."

Danny looked away from Flack. He wanted nothing more then to throttle his friend at the moment. But Danny knew not to take it personal. Whatever was coming out of Flack's mouth was the booze doing the talking for him. It was all the alcohol Flack had been consuming for God knows how long, packing his body full of depressants. But then again it didn't make things easier on Danny. Then a surge of angry came from within Danny, he then stood up. "You loved her? Right? Well you have a shitty way of showing it."

Flack's eyes blazed with fury, but Danny refused to let him speak, he was going to get his words. "You think this is what she'd want you to do? Sit here and pity yourself. Drink yourself to death? Oh yes she'd be so fucking proud of you right now. Way to honor her memory."

Flack turned his head as though he couldn't bare now to look at his friend, as though he was ashamed. "Get out."

"No." Responding quickly to Flack. Shaking his head, Danny crossed his arms almost daring Flack to try and get him to leave. "I'm not leaving, not till I believe your okay."

"I said get out, don't…just go." Flack getting angry at his stubborn friend who wouldn't get the message.

"Nope." Danny was worried how far he could push his friend. He then realized he was hitting a nerve because seconds later a beer bottle went sailing past his head and into the wall behind him. Danny still refused to budge.

Flack was standing now, well more along the lines he was swaying back and forth. He was pointing his finger at Danny, anger written across his features. "If you don't leave, then I'll have to force you."

Danny was not intimidated by his friend's threat. If Flack was at his full health then maybe Danny would be a little worried but Don was a drunken mess, there was no way he could take on anyone especially a sober determined CSI.

When Flack saw that Danny was still refusing to move Flack then charged his friend but found himself on the ground two seconds later. At first Flack was confused as to how he had gotton there so quickly, then he just laid there with no desire to get up.

Shock had come over Danny for half a second when he saw Flack charge at him, then cop instincts kicked in. Danny grabbed Don's fist that was meant for his face and had it behind Don's back as his momentum carried him forward, Danny kicked Flack's feet from under him causing him to land on his stomach. Danny then put his knee into his back not entirely sure Flack would try and retaliate against him.

But then Danny felt a shudder run through Flack and he realized suddenly Flack was going to throw up his contents right there in the living room. Not giving second thought he turned Flack's head and the smell of beer hit Danny's nose. The sound of Flack heaving made Danny want to throw up but he just looked away and waited for Flack to stop.

"Christ, I just…I miss her…so much." Flack gave into another dry heave. Tears began to flow as his body was thrown into a state of shock. The alcohol was trying to leave his system making him aware of his surroundings, which that was exactly what Flack was trying to escape from. He didn't want to remember. He wanted to forget.

Danny sighed, happy his friend was admitting his pain, but completely heart broken that it had to be done this way. He didn't want to see his friend like this. Flack never let things get to him. Danny was the usual emotional wreak. He was the one that could never get it together and Flack was the one to always be there, always seems to know what to say and help him through it. Now it was Danny's turn to be there for Flack and there wasn't anything to make the pain go away. Nothing that could help Flack. The only thing he could do was be there for him. Little did he know that was exactly what his best friend needed. It wasn't that he needed somebody to vent, he just needed somebody there, to watch over him. For once Flack had been broken down, and for once he needed someone to pick him up from the depths of hell and bring him back to the world of light.

Danny helped his friend sit up as tears were still free flowing down his face. Standing up, Danny went over and grabbed a blanket for Flack's body was racked with convulsions from the alcohol poisoning. Draping the blanket over his shoulders, Danny then sat down in front of Flack again, giving him a soft smile. Flack kept his eyes locked down as he then spoke out loud.

"I was going to ask her to marry me. I wasn't sure when but I was going to ask her in a few weeks that I knew….I never got to tell her."

"Hey," Danny got Flack's eyes to momentarily look up, "she knew, trust me. There wasn't a day we'd be at a scene she wasn't bringing you up. She loved you and that's better then what most people get."

Flack didn't respond, he just stayed silent. Danny didn't speak either. They just sat there neither one had to say a single word. For when Jennifer Angell died, they both lost something. Danny lost his best friend, and Flack lost the one he loved. But as daylight began to peak it's warm rays across the city skyline two friends found out, it may seem dark at first but in the end there is always light.

N' I need you now, my friend.
More than you know, yeah yeah.
When will we meet again?
Cuz I can't let go... of you.
No I can't - let - go. – 12 Stones "Let Go"

The End