Hey. Well, I got really into this, it wasn't meant to be anything bad, it just happened :L
I don't own Deathnote, I don't own the characters, sorry guys. I hope you enjoy it, i might write another chapter, I don't know yet. In case your wondering, Myogenic is basically the heart's ability to beat on it's own without the function of other cells or organs in the body, i think :L but you can look it up if you really want too. Oh, and i apologise for any grammar or spelling mistakes.
How does he shine so bright? How does he win? I couldn't help but stare at my rival from across the classroom. Yes, I was in a lesson, Yes the teacher was teaching, but such things fascinate me. I have known Near for as long as I could remember. I have always had this fantasy to rip open his secrets, to see what makes him ticks. These are just fantasy's I told myself again and again, its normal for boys my age too fantasise about something, hell, Matt fantasizes about princess Peach every night. I can't help but stare even though I look slightly odd, as if I were going to uncover everything about him by doing this. Without warning Near catches a glimpse of me staring at him, Fuck. I feel my face burning, I feel my heart pumping at an alarming rate. I look away quickly, pushing my head into my hands to hide my colour transformation of bright red. From the corner of my eyes, I see something...strange. Was Near smiling?
That lesson went on longer than it was supposed too, was it my lack of concentration? This only meant more work for me, more catching up. I made my way to the library. It's always best to come during the day, everyone saves studying for night time. I walk in through the door through the familiar place which held more than books, it held memories. This is where me and Matt once stayed up all night on his new video game. Also this is where me and Near would compete. The atmosphere became thick when we were both here. I stroll down one of the isles of books too find the one I'm looking for. I search through the books on the shelf one by one, careful not to make a misjudgement.
"Mello!"
I hear someone calling my name. I immediately flush. Sure he's my best mate, but he's so distracting.
"Ha, Mello, didn't think i'd find you here so early in the day."
"Yeah, well I don't have the simplicity of your studying nature Matt" I begin to look through the book to make sure Near has stolen any pages, written anything in them...I sound so paranoid, it's scaring me. It's natural though. He has always won every match, every test, everything. I always got the left overs. No matter how hard I tried, it never compared to what Near was capable of. He was my rival, my competitor...but also...
"MELLO!"
"WHAT!" everyone in the library is looking around at us. I can see the librarian raise her eyebrows while crossing her arms. I am not in her good books, I never return the books in time.
"Matt, don't you have something to do?"
"No. Why I came too see you, want to play a game or something?"
"Matt, I'm busy mate, maybe another time" I begin to walk towards the librarian, still raising her eyebrows too me. I feel bad for Matt I really do, he doesn't understand this feeling, this passion. The only thing he has to beat is me, but Matt is loyal, maybe that's why I like having him around, it eases my paranoia. I begin to walk out the room before briefly turning around too Matt giving him a short wave and smile.
I begin to walk back too my room. There is one long corridor which are where the rooms are. I pray every night I never have to cross paths with...shit, there he is now. White hair, White clothes, man in fucking white, yep it's him. He doesn't look up too me, he knows I'm here. We meet in the middle. He's looking at the book in my hand. I try make conversation, I rarely do but fuck anything to have a go at this fool. "So, have you read this yet?"
"Yes...four times." he says it with no emotion.
I look down, I feel...slightly insulted.
"I see...well...I should go read it now, later."
I begin to walk away, I think I'm moving a lot quicker than I was before. It a natural hate, everyone hates their rivals right?
"...Mello."
Hmmm. I stop in my tracks, not only am I paranoid, im hearing things. Maybe Matt's right, maybe I do need some time out.
"...I have a better book, the science teacher gave me a copy of the one he used at university."
"Ha, huh, what, ha, yeah..." Fuck My. life. I sound like a fucking idiot.
"Why are you lending me it then? Wouldn't it be a disadvantage for you?"
"Not really..." he says looking down at his socks.
I don't know what to really think,why is he doing this, I hate him with an unbearable passion. Right now I'm thinking of what to say, if I say yes. I would be on an even level with Near maybe with a chance of beating him. I say no, I walk away I walk away with the pride that I don't need his help. Then again when will a time like this come? Ive never spoken to Near and vice verse.
"...Okay." I say trying to remain collectively calm about the situation.
Maybe he was shocked, but I could have sworn I saw his eyes widen slightly, ever slightly. When you watch someone every day you notice these things.
"My room Is just down here, I don't mind delivering it too your room later."
"No it's fine, might as well get it now"
Woah this is creepy. I am not even thinking of what I'm saying. I'm nervous. Its my rival, my one hate in life, my... one...I don't know...
"Mello?"
I shake my head from these thoughts. I advance towards him only to notice he's already opened the door. He walks in, I slowly follow behind. Once the door is closed, I look round his room, almost like a teenager in the naughty films section. It's neat. Which is all I can say, everything seems organised. A couple of toys lying around on the floor but it's quite cute. Cute? Mello you retard.
"Ah...here it is" I see Near reaching for a book while standing on top of a chair, it doesn't look safe, but who am I to be worried. However I am worried, it wobbles violently. How can he not notice such a thing? Suddenly the chair tilts sideways sending Near along with it. I rush to his side "Are you okay! Are you hurt?..Near!"
"...I'm okay, thank you for your concern though Mello." I see him stand up, he is not okay, that lump on his head is massive.
"Idiot.." I pull him down so he is resting his head on my lap.
Okay I should have thought that through but it's too late now. I see him staring up at me with these questionable eyes which he knows for definite I wont answer.
I slowly inspect the bump. It looks painful. I Slowly remove his head, grab his hand and lead him to the bed.
"It's not what you think ha...It's better if you lay down here." Near looks slightly disappointed I cant imagine why. I go to his own suite a rinse out a flannel. I return to find him laying there with his eyes closed and his hand on his head. I feel sympathy, i've always wondered about Near, he childhood, his feelings, his thoughts. Ha, Yeah right like Near has feelings. I go over to the bed, trying my best not to make it look awkward. I sit beside him, holding a flannel on his bump.
I think back to when I first met Near. That is when it started. It was a puzzle even then. I saw him there holding onto Roger's hand another one on a teddy bear. His complexion did not change much, but I remembered the fascination, the curiosity was impeccable. Little did I know he was my soon to be rival. Back then, we were friends. We would play and talk with each other, before the competition started. Near came across as an angel too me, not because of his complexion but everything about him. He would never do bad. My mother told me before she died how we are all angels of God, he has sent us all for a purpose.
"...Please give it back..." Near was crying, holding both hands to his eyes.
"I kind of like this teddy bear, it seems a good thing to set on fire, what do you think boys?" they all nodded.
"...Please don't." Nears tears were rolling down his cheek, he watched as the elder boys put a lighter to bear. It went up in flames, along with everything inside of him. Near ran. Ran, ran, ran. To one place he thought was safe.
It took me ages to find him that day. Roger kept nagging me and nagging me until eventually I cracked. I had no intention of finding him not where I was going but I did. I saw him crying on one of the chairs. His knee's up and his face tucked in it.
"Near? Whats wrong?" I never saw Near smile, let alone cry. He said nothing, he didn't look at me. "Where is your teddy bear? Have you lost it?" I got a reaction. He buried his head deeper into his knees as if he was trying to suffocate himself.
"Near, we'll go look for it now, stop crying." I tried patting him on the back.
"...It's gone..."
"What?" I looked at him.
"It's gone forever..." I still didn't make sense but I can only judge that 'teddy is never coming back.
"well...umm...why don't we find you something else you can have?" world isn't just full of teddy bears.
"It was soft..." he mumbles quietly.
"Yeah well so is hair, look." I grab his hand and tangle it in my hair. He slowly begins stroking it, then running his fingers through it and finally twirling it.
"Now try with your hair". I said as I remove his hands from mine
He slowly reaches up to his white hair and begins to stroke it. He follows the same movements as before and ends up twirling his hair in his finger. We sit in silence for ages, his hand never departing from his hair.
"Well...You should head back, Roger is waiting for you." I say as I stand up.
"Aren't you coming too?" He says as he steps up too, his hand still twirling hair. I look up at the statue of Jesus hanging on the cross.
"No, I have something to do..." He understands. He begins too walk away, his finger still twirling his hair.
"Near?..." Near looks up at me. I remove the flannel from his head. "Why was that teddy bear so important too you?..."
Near looks away from me. I was afraid too ask this question, Near never talks about his feelings, however I never have seen him cry apart from that day, that teddy bear.
"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean too..."
"No, it's alright. My mother gave me it, it was passed down from her mother..."
"I see..." I understand how Near didn't exactly answer the question but I can understand that he held his mother dear, which is why he held his teddy bear dear. Suddenly I begin to feel sadness, I was always considered to be over emotional.
"Well, I better go" I say walking over to where the book was dropped down on the floor. I pick up the chair and put it in it's original place, I know how Near is a neat freak. Near gets up from bed. I begin to advance my way out. I feel something tugging on my sleeve.
"Near?" He's there behind me looking at my legs, he can never look anyone in the eye.
"...I..." I can see him trying to talk however it doesn't come out his mouth. He reluctantly lets go of my sleeve. I stare at him with an expressionless gaze. He's looking at the floor just standing there.
"I'll see you later..." I say, I open the door and close it behind me. I lean against the door frame trying to figure out what the hell happened. Near has always been weird but there was something more too it, what was he trying too say?
I don't have time for this, little brat is trying to distract me. I walk towards my room. I open the door and shut it behind me. My room is nothing compared to Nears. Nothing is organised or neat. Few books are scattered across the floor with some papers on my bed. I sigh, I really should study but I just can't concentrate. Why me? Why does he enjoy picking on me. I throw the book on the desk and look at the index. This book seems complicated. I open to the section I'm studying, the human heart. Like I said, I should be studying but I find myself staring out the window.
Me and Near. We do have a past. We shared our first kiss together. We were 8 at the time.
"Near?" I say looking at him playing with his puzzle. "Don't you ever get bored of playing with that thing?" I sit next to him. We are outside, the sun is high in the sky with the clouds bordering it. Everything seems peaceful with the boys playing football and Near sitting here.
"No...Not really.." He replies not taking his eyes away from the puzzle. I stare at him, I will never understand him. We sit there for a while, Near finishes of his puzzle.
"I see you've completed it at last, how many times have you done it?"
"Only 5 times" He says. Only 5 times! Is he crazy.
"Why are you so fond of that puzzle?"
"L gave it too me as a present" L. I see, that explains a lot, Near was always inspired by L. Suddenly I feel a drip on my nose, then another one. Its raining, I can see Near looking up unaffected by the rain, he actually seems to enjoy.
"We better go hide somewhere..." He just looks up, closing his eyes and letting the rain wash over his face. I am fascinated by the look on his face, but we can't stay here. I grab his hand and lead him under a tree. We sit there for a while.
"So do you like the rain?" I ask unsure if he'll reply. "Yes, it makes me feel...happy." Happy? Near feels happy? "Quite strange, people would associate the rain with darkness and unhappiness..."
"I think it's symbolic for cleansing, it washes away everything bad..." I don't know what to say, I've never heard Near be so open about his thoughts and feelings yet I'm very happy. We sit there, looking up at the sky, the rain is pouring down doesn't look like its going to stop anytime soon.
These where the early days of our competition, I hadn't yet acknowledged the fact I would remain number 2 for the rest of my life. I always thought I had a chance of winning that someday I would in fact be number one.
"Mello...?" I look too Near who is still looking deeply at the sky. "who will be L when L dies?"
I look at him shocked, confused and dazed. I understood the purpose of Wammy's were too find L's successors and obviously so did he.
" I don't know, I don't think we could ever replace L. L had a purpose, we each do, L was meant to be L" Near is looking at me intrigued I see his mind analysing my words processing them.
"What is my purpose, who am I meant to be?" I'm staring into his eyes, looking for something I wont find. I think about what he's said, he wants a reply, he's challenging me. I smile at him. I can see the look in his eyes become more fixated in me.
"You...were meant to be Near". I can see his face brightening up. He looks away from me, then looks back. I can see he understands what I mean. For some reason my words aren't good enough, I feel something coming over me, a new feeling of becoming even closer too Near, I want too feel him, taste his innocence. I slowly begin too lean in, I can see him become shocked, he's never witnessed this type of affection. Slowly I brush my lips against his. They are soft and tender. His eyes remain open. I try deepen the kiss by forcing our lips together. Suddenly his eyes close and so do mine. I wonder why im doing this, but something inside me is screaming too do it. We kiss for what seems like an eternity. When we part I see him looking at me briefly before he looks up at the sky.
"The rain has stopped..." he says, I look up at the sky and realise he is right.
"we better go change" I say looking down at our clothes. I can see his skin through his white shirt, I feel the temptation to explore further with him. We walk back to our own rooms. We reach his door before mine. "Well, Bye Near." He looks at me. "Bye Mello." I walk away from him, I can't believe I've just had my first kiss with Near. I hear a door close behind, I look back too find he's gone inside his room. I reach my room, one last time looking at his door. This is so sad I think to myself. Just hormones.
That was the last time we properly spoke to each other. I hear a knock on the door.
"Hey Yellow Mello, You still studying?"
who am I kidding, I need a distraction. "Come in Matt"
He comes in with bloodshot eyes. "fucking hell Matt, how long did you play for?"
"ha..." he scratches the back of his head, "Hey wanna go out and play? All the boys are waiting for you"
"Sure" I smile up at him and walk out my room. "so what are you studying?" "oh, the human heart" "fun". We walk past Near's door.
I wonder.