This idea came to me randomly.
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'F*ck that heathen Shikamaru for burying me in this hellish pit.' Hidan thought. Yes, he was only a head. His body parts were scattered around him and the large boulders made the deep pit seem endless. 'Jashin will severely punish that f*ckn' kid.' Hidan continued to think. He couldn't even remember how long it had been since the fight though. He thought it had only been a few months. Then small scratching noises could be heard from the top of the hole.
"F*ck, who's there?!"
Hidan yelled angrily. The scratching continued on and on. He heard a muffled snort shortly after at least 300 scratches.
"F*ckn' dog."
Hidan muttered.
"Shut up Hidan."
It said. Hidan could tell the voice was at least 2 yards in front of him.
"How do you know my name?"
Hidan asked angrily.
"I'm not in the mood or situation for a f*ckn' joke."
Hidan continued. Finally, the rock that hid his face was scratched away. Hidan squinted as the bright day light poured in. There stood a brown dog with…stitches? You heard (read) me right, stitches. The dog stared blankly at Hidans head.
"Jeez, you're in a bundle here."
The dog said, smirking.
"What's so funny?!"
Hidan yelled. The dog sat.
"That I finally find you 10 years after that Shikamaru kid buries you."
The dog said.
"Haven't changed a bit."
The dog added on.
"Just give me your f*ckn' name."
Hidan hissed. The dog continued to look at him.
"Don't these ring a bell?"
The dog asked, flicking his tail in front of Hidans face. Its tail was covered in stitches as well. Hidans eyes widened and then he smirked.
"I never knew you were a dog Kakuzu."
Hidan said. Kakuzu looked around, inspecting the rest of the dark pit.
"And I never knew you were just a head my friend."
Kakuzu said.
"Hey! The rest of my body is down here okay!?"
Hidan yelled angrily.
"How did you end up a dog anyways?"
Hidan asked. Kakuzu started scratching at a large rock.
"Had to quickly take on a different body before that Kyuubi kid did a number on me. Sucks to be both of us don't it?"
Kakuzu said, grabbing Hidans decapitated arm with his jaws.
"Well this f*ckn' pit is worse than your f*ckn' dog body."
Hidan huffed angrily as Kakuzu dug up his left leg.
"Shut up."
Kakuzu said and dug up the rest of Hidans body.
"H*ll why would I?"
Hidan shot at Kakuzu.
"Because I could just leave you here."
Kakuzu said while starting to climb back up the boulders.
"I will if I wanted to."
Kakuzu said, looking over his shoulder.
"Okay, okay, I give, just put me back together. Besides, where's everyone else?"
Hidan asked.
"Well…you see many of us died like Deidara, Pein and even that almighty Itachi."
Kakuzu said jumping back down.
"You're not being yourself. Did the grave treatment work on you?"
Kakuzu said with a wolfish grin. (Literally!)
"What ever."
Hidan said scowling.
"But you better hurry the f*ck up."
Hidan continued. Kakuzu sat down next to Hidans decapitated head and started to sew him back together.
Once Hidan was all sewn up, Kakuzu climbed out of the pit without Hidan.
"Hey! You should know that I can't even walk correctly right now!"
Hidan hollered. Kakuzus dog head appeared over the edge of the deep hole.
"Just suck it up."
Kakuzu said and disappeared.
"Kakuzu! You f*ckn' heathen better wait the f*ck up!"
Hidan roared. Kakuzu lied down under a large evergreen tree and waited for his partner to show up.
"Hey, I'm a dog right now and I can't pull you up. Dogs don't have human body parts you know."
Kakuzu said from his spot under the tree.
"At least help me you motherf*cker!"
Hidan yelled from the pit. Kakuzu sighed and jumped down the steep hole. Hidan glared at his now doggish partner. Kakuzu walked behind Hidan and clamped his jaws down on the back of the torn up Akatsuki cloak.
"Hey! You trying to choke me or something!?"
Hidan yelled.
"I thought you were immortal."
Kakuzu grunted as he roughly pulled the Jashinist up the steep hill of boulders. Kakuzu flung his partner over the ledge of the hole and climbed out. Hidan sat up right, scowling at Kakuzu.
"You should be grateful, or I'll just push you back down there."
Kakuzu said.
"H*ll why would I!?"
Hidan yelled rather loudly. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan (with his jaws) and hung him over the edge. Hidan looked down at the 12 foot deep hole as Kakuzu held on to the back of the Akatsuki robe.
"Hey! You heathen, get me back up!"
Hidan yelled.
"Then you should've been grateful when I got you out. Now, you're just gonna have to climb your sorry *ss back up to the top by yourself."
Kakuzu said and let go of the Jashinist. Hidan hit the bottom with a loud thud on his arm.
"F*ck you! I'm gonna beat you when I get out of this h*ll hole!"
Hidan yelled.
"Yeah, yeah, like that'll happen."
Kakuzu said, walking back to his spot under the evergreen.
The last few hours were full of curses and noises of Hidan attempting to climb back to the top. The sounds of Hidans attempts slowly stopped after one last loud thud.
"Done already?"
Kakuzu called from his spot.
"Shut the f*ck up you f*ckn' heathen!"
Hidan yelled from the bottom of the 'h*ll hole'. His voice was full of anger and something else. Kakuzu stood up and looked down from the edge of the hole. Hidan was picking up small pebbles and tossing them in random directions carelessly. Kakuzu sat down.
"Jeez, you never quit in the past. The treatment really did work."
Kakuzu said as Hidan looked up at him. It was almost midnight and the moon was brightly shining. Kakuzu could only identify Hidan with the dogs' eyes. 'F*ck these worthless eyes.' Kakuzu thought to himself. Kakuzu walked back to the tree and lied back down, wondering if Hidan will try again soon. Besides, it had been ten full years since Hidan was able to move with his full body. His small brain barely remembered how to use his fingers probably. He then heard Hidans attempts again.
"F*ckn' kid with his f*ckn' revenge over one f*ckn' mentor."
Kakuzu could hear Hidan mutter.
Morning quickly came and Hidan finally made it to the top. Kakuzu lifted his head, looking at his partner pull his body above ground and sit down in exhaustion.
"So, when's the beating?"
Kakuzu asked in pure mock.
"Shut…up."
Hidan huffed, turning to face Kakuzu. Then Kakuzu could hear voices slowly approach them. 'Was it that Shikamaru kid? Or someone else?' Kakuzu wondered. Hidan picked up the noise seconds after. Kakuzu understood why. He had two reasons. A: His hearing had depleted. Or B: Because the dogs' ears could pick up sound from a larger distance. The voices became recognizable: Shikamaru and Kakashi. Kakuzu quickly backed to Hidans side by instinct.
"Why'd you do that?"
Hidan asked. Kakuzu finally noticed that he had backed all the way to Hidans side.
"Instinct."
He said as the two leaf shinobi appeared. The two stared at Hidan and Kakuzu in awe.
"How…?"
Shikamaru started and then stopped when he spotted the stitched up dog by Hidans side.
"You."
He simply said. Kakuzu growled. Hidan looked at Shikamaru and then glared at him.
"We finally meet again."
Hidan said and surprisingly stood up without a problem. Kakashi looked at Shikamaru.
"I thought you said that you buried that Akatsuki."
He said ever so calmly.
"Yeah, but I though that you killed his partner."
Shikamaru said.
"Probably swapped with a dog at the last second."
Kakashi said.
"Yeah, but I thought that he couldn't do those kind of techniques."
Shikamaru said. The two stopped chatting and looked at the two Akatsuki members.
"Too bad though, you two can't get any back up because we killed most of the Akatsuki and the Akatsuki is no more."
Shikamaru said. Kakashi quickly summoned a new dog that he got five years ago and a large German shepherd poofed up and growled at the two. Hidan looked at the German shepherd.
"Meet Anoko."
Kakashi said proudly as Anoko barked. Kakuzu looked at Anoko and Anoko growled.
"She's the newest of my little 'pack' and I decided that she could be the close combat solo dog. She will rip you two apart and kick you back into that hole."
Kakashi said and Anoko sat next Kakashi, still growling.
"You ready girl?"
Kakashi asked to the large shepherd as Anoko stood up impatiently and growled. Kakashi looked back up at the two.
"Get ready for a fight you'll lose."
Kakashi said.
"Yeah, Anoko is the toughest dog I've ever met. Even beat me in a fight."
Shikamaru said. Hidan scowled.
"So, why would I give a sh*t?! I'll beat that dog in the blink of an eye!"
Hidan yelled angrily. Anoko barked at Hidan rapidly.
"Shikamaru beat you and if Anoko can beat Shikamaru than you'll lose. You were at your peak in power when you went against Shikamaru. You've now lost at least three fourths of you power. You'll lose."
Kakashi said lifting a hand, signaling the dog to attack. Anoko snarled as she charged at the two. Hidan didn't react in time. Anoko tackled him and the two fell down into the deep hole. Kakuzu looked over his shoulder and jumped down, snapping at Anoko. Kakashi and Shikamaru could hear loud barks, snarls and high pitched yelps from the pit and then Anoko flew out of the pit and hit the ground. Kakuzu then jumped out, blood coming from his jaws. Anoko stood up and charged again, resulting in a dogfight. Kakashi was surprised to see Anoko being tossed across the small battle ground.
"Don't go thinking that I wasn't working on being a dog."
Kakuzu said. Anoko stood up and growled. Hidan stepped out of the pit. Shikamaru looked at Kakashi.
"I don't think Anoko's gonna win this one. That Kakuzu guy had two times the training than Anoko."
Shikamaru said.
"Ten years Kakashi. Five can't beat it."
Shikamaru continued worriedly. Hidan watched his partner kick the sh*t out of Kakashis dog. Anoko limped in Kakashis direction, whimpering in pain and fear. The two leaf shinobi were shocked to no end. Anoko was scared for the first time and beat. Kakuzu sat down, blood covering both dogs' coats. Kakashi had Anoko go back home by teleporting Anoko back to Konoha. Hidan smirked.
"Ha! Think that your dog is so tough now?!"
Hidan said.
"Pipe down. You didn't even fight."
Kakashi said. Hidan frowned.
"Fine, I'll fight, bring it on!"
Hidan yelled. Kakashi poofed up another new dog.
"This time, face a dog with twelve years of experience."
Kakashi said as a Rottweiler appeared. Its muzzle was grey, but it was full of energy.
"Now, lets see if you can beat this one."
Kakashi said.
"Okay Omari, go get them."
Kakashi ordered. Hidan noticed that the two leaf shinobi weren't even planning. Were they joking with them? Omari growled and slowly approached Hidan. Hidan got ready for another tackle, but this dog seemed to have plans. It charged at Hidan quickly and then turned to the right, tackling Kakuzu into the deep pit. Hidan looked down.
"Don't drop your guard."
Hidan heard Kakashi say and turned to see Kakashi just about to slash him with a kunai. He had no scythe, no pike, no nothing. Hidans only options were to jump backwards and into the pit or take the hit. Hidan decided to take the hit as the kunai sliced his neck. Blood flew over to the right. Hidan then noticed a dogs body in front of him. Kakashi was starting in shock. It wasn't Omari, but Kakuzu. Where was Omari? Hidan then looked behind him to see Omari jumping out of the pit with a huge flap of skin ripped free from his neck. Omari bit Kakuzu in the neck and died after its final blow. Kakashi decided to stop. He wasn't going to lose any other dogs, so he jumped back and the two retreated.
"What's up with them? That wasn't normal. They made a hasty retreat without a word. Jeez, I knew ten f*ckn' years was enough to make the world go crazy."
Hidan said. Kakuzus neck was stitching itself back together. The sun slowly sank. The fight had lasted the whole day to their displeasure.
"Lets go to the rain village and find Konan."
Kakuzu huffed and walked away. Hidan nodded and walked alongside his partner.
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I'm gonna stop now. It's time for bed. My parents are gonna start telling me to go to bed, so I'm just gonna stop before they even ask me to. Next chapter will come soon! If it doesn't come within three days, you guys have to start yelling at me okay? Okay! Bye bye you guys! Review if you have the time!