Hello, everyone! Time for another parody of Foster's fanficton, mainly the Mac x Frankie pairing. It was originally a Christmas gift for Grand High Idol, but she suggested that I put it up on ff, so here it is:
Two pm.
"Miss Francis!"
Five minutes.
"Miss Francis!"
Ten minutes.
"Miss Francis!"
Mr. Herriman stared at his pocket watch and shook it in frustration. Miss Francis had promised that at two pm, she would come and help him wash the windows. Where was she?
"Miss Francis! You are shirking your duties! You have a tight schedule to uphold!"
He hopped out of his office and found Frankie languidly leaning on her mop, an earlier job left unfinished.
"Miss Francis! You were expected to have finished this job fifteen minutes ago! It is now time to help me wash the windows!"
"Oh, Mr. H, I'm sorry, it's just…it's just…"
Mr. Herriman fidgeted with his fingers and gave Frankie a fierce look. "Just what?"
Suddenly, Frankie leapt into the air, letting the mop clatter to the floor, and twirled around the hall. "Oh, Mr. Herriman," she said, "I think I'm in love with Mac!"
Herriman stood there in shocked silence.
"Oh, I can't stop thinking about him, his lush brown hair, his boyish features…"
"Miss…Francis…" Mr. Herriman took a few deep breaths to regain his composure. "I have no idea what has possessed you, but you can not have a romantic affair with Master Mac. It is against the law."
"I knew you wouldn't approve!" Frankie began to pout.
"Miss Francis, I insist you cease this childish behaviour immediately and accept the fact that what you're thinking is wrong, before I am forced to have a word with the Madam."
Just then, in true 'speak of the devil' fashion, the front door creaked open and in came Mac.
"Hey, Frankie. Hey, Mr. Herriman."
"Mac!" Frankie grabbed the poor child, squeezing him so hard it felt like his organs would pop out. "Oh, I have waited for what seemed like centuries for return! You are the flavour of my life, you bring my world meaning, you…"
Mac leapt out of her arms in fear. "Frankie, what's wrong with you? You can't love me! There's like, fourteen years between us!"
Herriman's eyes narrowed. "Indeed."
"Mac! No! You must be mine!"
"Run, Master Mac! Run like the wind!"
Mac darted up the stairs to get away from Frankie, and, of course, to find Bloo, but what could he do in this situation?
"Bloo! Bloo! Frankie's become a crazy paedophile!" Mac paused for a moment to remember how he learned that word, and then got back to looking for Bloo. Bloo sat at Frankie's computer, laughing his head off (did he have a head?).
"Bloo, what are you doing?" Bloo was on a fanfiction website, reading something entitled 'DOOM: Repercussions of Evil'.
"Hey, Mac, listen to this; 'No John, you are the demons'! Who thinks of this stuff?"
Oh no.
"Bloo! Don't you know how evil that website is?"
"Um…no."
Mac threw Bloo off his chair, pressed the back button several times, taking the browser to the Cartoons section of the website, then to the Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends section.
"Look at all this stuff people have been writing about us! All this gritty adult stuff, romances that would never happen…there was even a story where you guys were evil monsters and I had to kill you!"
Bloo rolled his eyes. "What kind of no-life loser would write a thing like that?"
"Yeah, but don't you know what this means? One of the writers on this website could have found a way to alter our reality!"
"You know that sounds like a bad episode of some dumb science fiction cartoon, do ya?" Just then, Wilt walked in, wearing a long black trenchcoat and large combat boots.
"Oh no! It's getting worse!"
"Um..Wilt, what's with the get-up? It looks neat!"
"I've become a goth," said Wilt, "because of horrible memories of my creator abusing me."
"But Wilt," said Mac, "your creator was really nice!"
"That was a robot and I made those memories up to help me ameliorate! My real creator liked to kill imaginary friends and eat their body parts!"
"You do know that makes no sense."
"Who cares? We need angst!"
Something strange came over Bloo. "You're absolutely right! I'm becoming a goth too!"
"Bloo! Not you too! Who could be doing this?"
"Who else?" Terrance stepped out of the shadows, holding a remote control.
"Terrance?"
"That's right, Mac. Now that I have all your little friends under my control, nothing can stop me from destroying you, as you are the only staple in my plan to rule the world!"
"Wait a minute…Terrance may be a stupid jerk, but he's not evil. Who's really behind this?"
Berry then stepped out of the shadows. "All part of my berry evil plan! I would make you lose interest in Bloo by making you love Frankie and then I would control Bloo into loving me; I made him and Wilt Goths because Goths are cool."
"Berry isn't all that evil either."
Then a weird bald guy wearing a black trenchcoat and fedora stepped out of the shadows. "I did it so I could destroy Foster's and build a freeway!"
"OK, this isn't even funny anymore."
"Oh crap," came a voice from the sky, "I brainwashed your friends so I could satirise fanfiction!"
"Well, change them back! That idea has been done to death anyway!"
So then all of Foster's changed back to their former selves. Frankie felt really dirty afterwards, as memories of acting like a paedophile who still dancing through her head, so she took a shower. However, as she got out, she screamed…Snap was spying on her and was taking a video tape of her! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
"Mac's right. It's not funny and never was and never will be."
"Sorry."
The End